s/o - How did you choose when to TTC?

[Deleted]

First time: We had bought the house and both had permanent contracts, and sort of had it in our heads we'd get on it by the time we were 30 (which is easy when you get married at 23). We were both pretty much on the same page. It was good timing, in lots of ways, money, professionally, health, etc.

Second time: We thought we should just get on with it before we lose our nerve. We want (at least) 2. It's going to be rough no matter when. We waited long enough that my first mat leave would be repaid to my company before I take another one. That will put the kids somewhat over 2 years apart.

[pugz]

We got married at 22 so had lots of time ahead of us. I wanted to get thru grad school and be in my first job for a year. Also had a savings goal and house projects we wanted to accomplish and get a new car.

[gnomesweetgnome]

It's been a long time since we decided to start trying. We had both graduated with our BAs earlier that year, DH had a stable job with enough money to support us, and I wanted a baby, so we decided to go for it.

4+ years later, I'm glad we decided to start trying when we did, since we found out about our IF sooner rather than later, so that we could still have kids when we're fairly young (assuming adopting doesn't take forever).

[changedname]

We always said we would start trying after our honeymoon summer 2011 (which was 4 months after our wedding). I went off bcp then but DH was stalling.
Then last Christmas one of my gifts from him was a pregnancy book and a note saying "it's time!". I was so excited. I cannot believe that book is probably going to be out of date by the time I have a baby. ** bitter*** :-(

[kittycatlove]

Ours was based on my age. I was 39 when we got married so we knew we needed to start trying immediately.

[slug*bug]

First: we had a vague timeline...we wanted to be married for a couple of years, etc. We made a trip to the US in the summer of 2008 and visited both of our families. My nephew was 4 and being around him was so much fun...both of us were smitten. It made us look at each other and wonder exactly what we were waiting for (lol) so we dove in a month later.

Second: Originally I wanted them 3 years apart (I guess b/c that's how far apart my sibling and I are) but we realized that that would mean being heavily pregnant (or having a newborn) during an international move which was a non-starter. I loved having a spring baby, though, so we pushed things up a year.

I was definitely hesitant at first, but I'm so glad DH convinced me that a two year separation would be fine: they were 2 u 2 for about a month and it has it's moments, but overall, it's been great for us.

[ssmjlm]

This may get me flamed, but I have never been one who wanted to celebrate her first anniversary registering for a baby. Shit for a good chunk of my life I wasn't even sure if having the title of "Mom" was on the table. Thankfully DH and I were on the same page about both of those things, which I was glad, when you're marrying someone 9 years older and most of his friends were already parents.

We truly put a time on it during our first year of marriage, which was really rough for me (DH has amnesia about that year I swear).

Honestly we had a few goals-get our house renovated to a certain point, get to X point in our careers and be comfortable financially adding a kid. We sped things up a bit by a year or so when DH realized he really wanted me to be PG by the time he was turning 40.

We got pregnant our second month trying which was really perfect timing. I was worried about actually getting PG b/c I only have one ovary.

[Deleted]

We were together for 9 years. We wanted to get married, have me get a new job and have maternity benefits and go to Oktoberfest in Germany. We started after we came back from our trip. I am glad we started when we did. I lived a very full DINK life for many years and enjoyed every second and I think it has made me much more mentally ready to have a baby. I see her as adding to the fun and dont feeel like i am missing out on anything i wanted to do.

[justjen]

I was almost 34 when we got married. We knew we wanted to wait at least a year.

By our first anniversary (April), my husband was definitely ready, but I wanted one more summer of fun. We planned our last pre-PG vacation for labor day weekend, and signed up for our first (only?) half marathon in mid/late September. We agreed that once the race was over, we would try.

Honestly, if DH wasn't soooo (beyond) ready and I wasn't already 35, I could've easily waited longer. But now that she's here, I wouldn't have it any other way

[pamela]

We never TTA. After the first m/c though, we discussed it and dilberately TTC.

[anna7602]

DH and I had been married 5 years when we started TTC # 1. There were some things like wanting to finish grad school and save enough money to buy a home that we did pre-TTC, but honestly, I would've plowed ahead despite these goals if I had really felt ready.

Neither of us was sure if we wanted a second kid for a long time. When DD was around 3, I started feeling more sure I did want another child. But, we were on the verge of moving abroad and DH didn't feel ready at all. He asked me to give him one more year from that point. I did, but spent a lot of time talking to him about it over the course of that year. We started TTC # 2 pretty much right at the exact moment DH's "waiting period" was over. No BFP yet.

[Ashley&Scott]

We waited until we had met some of our pre-baby goals:

buy a house
new furniture & other home upgrades
$X in savings for baby
travel

Also, we knew it was time when we both couldn't stop talking about babies & fantasizing about our baby.

ETA: I think the timing was right for us.

[Brie]

We waited until DH was done with his two-year appointed job and had secured something permanent.

[drloretta]

We waited until 6 months after we got married. I wanted to start right away (I was almost 37 already), but DH wanted "us" time. I suppose if he had to look back on it, he might have started earlier, since we ended up with 3 m/c's and 3.5 years before we adopted DD. I wouldn't have changed it. I don't think it would have mattered.

[ladygrey]

We felt like all the major pieces were in place (home ownership, significant savings, no debt, secure jobs, good health insurance coverage, etc.).

Also, as I mentioned in my last post, even though we got pregnant within a year of getting married (which sounds like a short amount of time), we had dated for six years before that, so there was plenty of time to travel and experience life without children. My biological clock was definitely ticking at 31, and we plan to have at least 2 (maybe 3) kids, so it was time to get started!

[gibbinator]

DH was ready looong before I was. As in, at 21 when we started dating, he was all babies babies babies. And I was very ewwwww, babies are gross and ugly.

We did agree that we wanted to have at least one on the way before he was 30 (he'll be 30 in Feb).

He was very patient and waited 8 years for me to decide that, well, babies aren't thaaaat ugly. Flameful maybe, but by last year I also wanted out of my job and getting KU seemed like a good way to leave without burning any bridges. Seeing as everything finance, bio-clock, age and stability /-wise lined up in winter 2011, we decided to give it 6 mo, live the life, and go for it in the summer

[jenn248]

We agreed after we got married that we would discuss TTC after we had been married for three years (we were 28 and 33 when we got married). DH jumped the gun a bit on the TTC discussion and told me on NYE after we had been married two years that he wanted to start trying after the following new year. So we were married just over three years when we started TTC and will have been married just over four years when the baby makes her arrival. Honestly, I would have been okay waiting a little while longer before TTC, but we are now 37 and 32, so if we do want to have a second kid, the timing is actually prettty good.

[kangaroo11]

I didn't want to have kids...

Then my last grandparent passed away last year and I decided I wanted to try for a child. We tried a couple months at the end of last year, but I didn't want to be massively pregnant during the summer, so we took a break. When we tried again, I got pregnant the first month, so that was that.

[h]

We said from the start we would wait 5 years, then talk about it. As we approached out fifth anniversary, we were both ready to try. I was 29, DH was 30, we were both done with grad school, my career was going well, our finances were in order, etc. We were also cognizant of the fact that it could take a while to get pregnant, and we knew we wanted more than one child, so we were hesistant to wait too long to try without a good reason to.

With DS2, we waited until we felt up to another baby, then went for it when DS1 was 22 months. With DS3, we went back and forth about whether to try for a third, then skipped the condom once on day 6 or 7 of my cycle, with the knowledge that pregnancy was possible but (we thought) pretty unlikely. That was all it took (or, I suppose, it could have been condom failure later in my cycle). So I guess we never really decided to TTC the third time around.

[matildasun]

I promised my husband that we would wait a year after we got married. I was 35 and so anxious that whole year. I ovulated a few days before the year was up, so I talked him in to trying. I got pregnant that cycle.
I wish I had enjoyed that year more.

[KaraOrNot]

The short story is that we were both finally ready at the same time.

The long story is that I really wanted a baby in 2012. My great-great grandfather was born in 1892, my grandfather was born in 1922, my dad was born in 1952, and I was born in 1982. I needed a 2012 baby to keep it going. I cried when I realized that I wouldn't be keeping the streak going :-(

[Deleted]

We discussed having kids/ when to have kids when we were dating. We wanted me to try to have a baby right around when I turned 30, had no consumer debt and had traveled for a bit. We got back from Europe in September '11 and I didn't have the "baby bug" but I had a deep, keening need to be *trying* for a baby. If heard so many TTTC stories that I felt like we needed to get on it because this could take us YEARS.

We had this epically painful discussion about it on New Years Day of 2012. I was ready to start rightthatsecond but H wanted to wait a few more months. God I cried and felt like he didn't understand, it was so painful. But, we hit our savings goal a month later and pulled the goalie to celebrate. And had a positive pregnancy test 15 days later. Of all of the scenarios i'd envisioned in my mind, getting pregnant easily was not something I'd mentally prepared for, ao it's a good thing H held out until we were totally ready to actually have a baby on the way.

We are very, VERY lucky and I am very very grateful.

[Deleted]

We were both ready immediately. We "had fun" in our 15mo dating & 15mo engagement which was a year longer than we wanted (due to venue issue). We felt our ducks were already in a row & were already 27/28. I also knew I wanted "lots" of kids & feared my fertility (super irregular periods my entire life). Also my Dad was old (72) & I wanted my kids to know him. My older brothers nor younger sibs weren't anywhere close to having kids. Little did we know DHs 57 yr old Dad would get cancer soon after we got married & pass away on our 2nd anniversary. He met DD1 & for that I'm grateful.

[statlerwaldorf]

We started TTC as soon as we got married. We knew about my infertility before TTC and didn't want to regret waiting and the what ifs if we waited and then couldn't get pregnant in the future.

[sjh722]

We were married at 23 so we had time to wait until we felt "ready". We are pretty sure we'd like 2 - 3 (and I have no interest in 3 kids under 4!), so we wanted to get started before waiting too long (I got a BFP about 5 days after I turned 29). We are in a place we're comfortable with financially, jobs, etc for now.

Really romantically, open enrollment for AFLAC was in April so we figured we could start trying in June due to the 10 month waiting period before they'll pay out.

[countthestars]

We were married in June of 11 and tentatively talked about starting TTC in Sept of 12. In June of 12 we had met our financial goals and started the house process, so we went for it. H is the only biological grandchild on his dad's side (his dad and 2 uncles all had troubles with IF) so we didn't want to wait long just in case.

[fbf2006]

We were going to wait about 2 years, but then life happened (we got laid off, moved to Toronto, moved to NYC, I started work, he started grad school). So five years later, less than a year after my husband started working, it seemed like the time was right. We were turning 30. That was when we were financially ready. We actually never really actively decided we were TTC though. It happened right away.