I really thought this was this month. After a year and a half...I just felt like the stars aligned. I even felt kinda "different " for the past few days. My period is due Saturday and my temp this am stayed up, ( it typically starts falling at this point) so I took that as a sign and POAS ( even though I told myself not to this month until missed period).
BFN
I have been way more emotional about pregnancy related things this week. Everyone and their mother is pregnant ( or at lest in my head). Friend of mine from hs called to tell me she is preggo with #5.....yup 5 and she is 31. I hate that my first reaction towards her and others in my family has been jealousy and resentment. Eventually I feel joy for them, but it takes me a while.
Ugh....I am just so angry/sad/ disappointed/ confused with my body right now. I hate having no control over this. I know I am not totally out this cycle until AF comes but I am not hopeful. The silver lining I guess will be having a nice big glass of wine Saturday night at the Christmas party we are hosting..that's exactly what I'll need , 40 people to distract me from all this.
Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it out and this seemed line the best place to do it.