Who was/is team green?

[HoneySpider]

Originally we both wanted to find out the sex but lately I'm thinking I might not want to. When my niece was born a few weeks ago it was fun being at the hospital but also anti-climactic - going in, we knew it was a girl and we knew her name.

I know people say they feel more of a connection to the baby when they find out the sex - did you have any issues in that regard? What did you like/not like about not knowing?

Would you (did you) do it again?

[karinothing]

We were team green! I love it.

I asked that our midwives let DH be the one to tell me. So when he was born he was immediately placed under me (I delivered on my hands and knees) and I couldn't see so I remember yelling "what is it!" lol Which now that I think about it wasn't particularly nice to DS. But DH yelled its a boy and I said I knew it!

Plus, I guess I loved calling them and greeting them with "You have a new grandson!" or whatever. I know I know it is a surprise no matter what and fun no matter what. But I really enjoyed waiting.

Plus we got like zero clothes at our baby shower ha ha

[mellymel]

I will be interested to see the responses here. We were not Team Green with DS. It was exciting to find out as I felt more connected to the baby once I knew the sex.

Our a/s is tomorrow. I think we are going to find out. There is still a small part of me that thinks the surprise of being Team Green would be really fun and this is our last (planned!) baby so it's the last time we get a chance to be surprised at delivery.

[kangaroo11]

I'm still (reluctantly) team green. lol I wanted it to be a surprise and DH got on board with that right away. Last month or so, I started thinking it would be nice to not have to come up with 2 sets of baby names and to get an idea of what the baby might be like, but DH was not interested in finding out. I even tried "We don't have to tell anyone we know what it is", but his response was "You can find out if you want..." so we still don't know.

So yeah, I feel it's hard to connect to the baby, not knowing what its name will be, but at the same time, I like that we get to do so many fun colors for stuff. It's not ALL BLUE or ALL PINK. We have a green room and sheets and brown wall decals, which is nice.

[countthestars]

We are! But I can't answer most of your questions because I haven't been there yet.

[HoneySpider]

Kari, I am dying at "what is it!" Awesome

[jr009j]

We didn't find out the sex. We will absolutely not find out again.

I loved the guessing by everyone. I also had the moment of me yelling "what is it" at my DH. We didn't have a name going in for either sex.

I feel like I should add the caveat that I'm crazy and didn't want to risk the A/S being wrong.

[HoneySpider]

Dec 13, 2012 16:06:42 GMT -5 countthestars said:

We are! But I can't answer most of your questions because I haven't been there yet.

I didn't know you guys are!

[sjh722]

Dec 13, 2012 16:05:40 GMT -5 kangaroo11 said:

So yeah, I feel it's hard to connect to the baby, not knowing what its name will be, but at the same time, I like that we get to do so many fun colors for stuff. It's not ALL BLUE or ALL PINK. We have a green room and sheets and brown wall decals, which is nice.

Ditto - although I don't know if I would feel more connected if I did know, since this is my first pregnancy.

I painted the nursery a robins-egg blue and I'll just add some pink/red if it's a girl or green/orange if it's a boy, no big deal.

We've had some annoying comments (OMG, I could NEVER not find out, you're going to get all green and yellow stuff!), but they're far outweighed by people who have multiple kids who've told us it was more fun to be surprised.

[anna7602]

We were team green. It was fun for both of us to not know. I can't explain why, we just wanted the classic "it's a ___" moment in the delivery room.

I don't know if I would do it again for more practical reasons. The first is that DD is at an age where she knows people know the sex beforehand (thanks to all of my friends who have told her they're having a boy or a girl) and would probably drive me crazy asking every day. Not sure if that's a big enough reason to do it.

Second reason is that I still have almost all of DD's clothes sitting in various storage boxes around our apartment and in my parents' house. It would be nice to organize that and give most of it away if we have a boy, instead of never having the time to do that once the baby is here. But again, not sure if that's a big enough reason.

ETA: As for the "connection," I'm not sure that it would have mattered to me. There were so many moments of "connection," like when the baby kicked up a storm or when I realized that the baby moved around more in-utero to certain kinds of music I played.

[HoneySpider]

Thanks everyone so far for sharing your stories, I love hearing them!

I'm pretty sure I want to be team green but my husband still is leaning more toward knowing....and if he knows, then I'm going to have to know.

[Deleted]

I've been team green 2 times & found out 2 times. Our first was a surprise & beyond awesome. 2nd we found out for practical reasons & I was very happy to have another girl. For 3rd we didn't find out & I wish we would have. ::Flammable admission::but I had some gender disappointment--I wish I had dealt with & gotten over it prior to her birth. I always wanted 2 girls & 2 boys & I knew that meant my "plans" were not going to happen. Also it was not a "planned pg" & I had consoled myself with the idea that it may be a boy. I was afraid I'd have it again so we found out this time. Weirdly I have no gender disappointment this time. Maybe it's because my "ideal" family was already not gonna be a reality. Anyway I accepted it immediately & have no pangs of longing for a boy at all this time. Basically if you have a preference I'd suggest finding out. If not Team Green is a blast!

[CloudBee]

I considered it, but then kept telling myself "it's a surprise regardless of when you find out". I'm also a planner, so knowing we have a little boy on the way has allowed me to better prep for his arrival. I had slightly different visions of how the nursery would look if it were a boy vs. girl, and have really enjoyed picking up clothing here and there.

[kitty36]

We didn't find out for our first but did for our second. I loved not knowing and didn't feel I had any problem bonding the first time around. It was nice the second time to know but I think I personally preferred not knowing. Definitely worked out better as far as clothing and gifts, we got waaay more practical stuff that way! Whatever you decide to do, enjoy!

[jackpackage]

I LOVED being team green! I would definitely do it again. I don't think it made a difference to feeling connected. It was so fun and exciting for me and h to guess what we were having. My reaction was similar to kari's. My ob said "It's a healthy baby!" And held him up. I had the c/s curtain blocking my view, so I said "A healthy what, a what!!??"

The only downside was that my MIL would tell people that we knew but were keeping it a secret from everyone.

[glitzy07]

I'm still on the fence about this. All my life I've said that I didn't want to know with my first, but I'm also such an insane planner that I'm not sure what I want to do.

That being said, H has expressed in the past that he'd like to know. Now that we're actually pregnant, he keeps telling me that it's up to me.

I sort of feel like if we find out, it might make it easier for my step-son to connect and will obviously help the planner part of me. But at the same time, even if we do find out we won't be telling anybody our names so that part would still be a surprise.

Good thing I have another 10 weeks to think about it.

ETA: I'm a little nervous about "gender disappointment" too, so I'm wondering if finding out early will give me time to adjust. I will be over the moon no matter what we're having, but since I already have a step-son, I REALLY want a girl and all the pretty girl things. I think if I find out at 20 weeks and it's a boy, I'll have more time to adjust my thinking a bit, as bad as that may sound.

[Brie]

We were not Team Green. Finding out the sex really helped me to bond with the baby--I know this is not the case for everyone, but it seemed a lot more real once I was able to think of him as my son, rather than just an abstract sexless baby.

We did keep the name a secret until he was born, which I think kept up some of the excitement. Everyone was really excited to hear what we'd chosen.

[rosetyler]

We're not for this one. I'm too excited to get to that 20 week point and buy a few gender-specific things. If we're lucky enough to have a 2nd, I might want to go Team Green. I feel like it's one of the few mysteries in life, and it would be pretty fun to find out.

[kittycatlove]

We were team green and I wouldn't have it any other way. Even if we were to have another (we're one and done) i'd totally be team green again. I still felt connected to the baby. We also didn't want everything to be pink or blue so it really didn't matter in that respect.

My DH wasn't really on board and wanted to find out but ultimately said the decision was mine since I was the one carrying the baby.

We even had the CVS so we could have know for sure at 12 weeks and still chose not to find out. People thought we were crazy, but in the end it was really cool to say to everyone it's a BOY! We also didn't share our name choices so it was really a surprise for everyone when we called to tell them.

[mollybrown]

We were team green both times, and plan to be for the next kid as well. That moment of finding out after you give birth is priceless. DH loved being able to announce the sex to me, and announce it to his family in the waiting room as well.

I also like not getting tons of gender specific gifts as well. I feel like people were more interested in getting the call from us after the baby was born because they didn't know if what we were having, or the name. BIL and SIL were team green, and I honestly think that I was so much more excited about that call because I had no idea what they were going to say. It just is less exciting to me to hear that a baby is born when I already know the name and gender.

I agree with CB that if you have a gender preference, you should find out beforehand.

[dcn]

We found out with DS, but I think if we have another I want to be team green. The first pregnancy is so new and unknown, it was nice to know if it was a boy or a girl for me since I had no idea what to expect with everything else.

With the next, I think it would be fun to have that surprise to look forward to at the delivery!

[nabum]

We were team green. It was a great experience for us. My OB delivered our son and my husband shouted out "It's a boy!" - we hadn't yet decided on a name but we knew as soon as we saw him. I don't have another pregnancy to compare it to, but I definitely did not feel disconnected to the pregnancy because we didn't know the sex ahead of time.

Also, I agree with Kari- it was so much fun announcing his sex and name, and we didn't get any clothes at the shower (but got a ton of boy clothes as gifts after he was born.)

We plan to be teem green again with #2 whenever that happens.

[Deleted]

We found out with #1 DD and were team green with #2 DD. I loved NOT knowing and didn't feel any differences in bonding. In fact, I bonded a bit more with team green baby. It was so so SO fun to wait until birth and then call everyone.

[speckledfrog]

We were team green. I wanted to have a big surprise in the delivery room. It was pretty anti-climatic. I think because he had meconium in the amniotic fluid the nurses whisked him away to assess him and I was more concerned about that than the sex.

Next time I think I will find out, but we'll see how I feel once I'm actually PG!

[marshmallowhands]

We were team green with my daughter and are also choosing to wait with this baby (due in April).

What I liked about it was having people speculate and guess what they thought the baby would be (everyone thought my DD was a boy), getting all gender neutral items, having the big delivery room moment where even the nurses were excited to hear, and getting to announce her name to our family and watched as it sunk in that that meant she was a girl. Anyway, it was just such a special moment for us.

This time around I do have a few moments where I wonder if it would be easier for my daughter to "understand" if we could tell her it was a baby sister or brother. But really, I don't think anything could prepare her for all the changes in store.

I will say that if my first had been a boy, I'd have found out this time around. I've always pictured myself with a daughter so I would have needed to know ahead of time if I were having a 2nd son since this is likely our last.

[yellowbrkrd]

We're team green. I like the idea of finding out in the moment.

[cjeanette]

If you find out or don't I promise the birth will not be anti-climatic for you.

I found out with both. I needed to have a name decided and knowing the gender helped me think of them as people and not just a pregnancy.

[blindyswife]

I am going to repeat a lot of the things PP's said.

We were team green with L, and we'll totally be green again. Listen, nothing beats the reward and surprise of finding out the sex of your baby after 40 weeks of anticipation! The whole pregnancy you wonder, 'gosh I wonder what we're having, what's it going to be, I can't wait to find out!'. And, for me, after a long labor/delivery, it was so amazing when H said, "He's a boy!" Probably the coolest moment of my life. And just like one of the other PP's mentioned, I said to my husband, "Oh my god, we have a son? We have a son!" Cue the tears. :-(

Also an amazing moment- when our parents got to the hospital and we said, "meet your grandson". Gah I'm going to cry just writing all of this!

No amount of pre-planning would make me change my mind. Being team green is the the cat's pajamas.

[karinothing]

I will say not knowing had no impact on bonding with me. Well, I guess I can't really say since I don't know how it is to know. But I had no issues connecting.

ETA: I think there is just something special about being the ones to figure out the sex if that makes sense. I guess I could figure out how to read an ultrasound but the idea that it was my husband to first tell me "it's a boy!" was just a great bonding moment for the two of us. Plus, our midwives were super excited to know as well! lol.

[countthestars]

I think PP said it perfectly that no matter what you do will likely feel "right". So it's all just a matter of preference. We are excited with our choice though!