Did you think having kids would be easy?

[h]

No, I did not think it would be easy, and I haven't found it to be easy. I did think it would be fun, and I have found that to be true.

[Willis Jackson]

Dec 14, 2012 13:21:23 GMT -5 d0ri said:

YES! lol. Am I the only one of those FTMs who thought they knew everything? I think I even felt like I was the most prepared FTM. Bwahahaha! Yep, smug! OMG! During one of the classes we attended, the lecturer advised everyone to start writing expectations for when the baby comes. Guess what I did? I rolled my eyes and thought "whatever, we don't need that shit. we're 110% ready." LOLOLOL.

I had no idea what was coming. I found TB/TN later after DD was born when I was struggling to figure things out.

I was soooooo smug. I had nannied, babysat, had nieces and nephews, etc. I had it all figured out.

Yeah, no. I was a dumbass.

[justjen]

Aw, don't feel bad. That wasn't my point! It's not so much that I think it's "easy" as it is that I thought it would be TERRIBLE.

Like, I was expected to be a complete basketcase all the time. I was a MESS when planning my wedding -- seriously, super stressed out, not sleeping, worried all the time. And that's a stupid wedding. A baby seemed so much more scary, and I thought for sure I would be waaay worse.

So every day I'm pleasantly surprised that when I'm like "huh, this is actually fun." I'm not tearing my hair out, fighting the urge to scream at the kid, or falling asleep anytime I sit still... yet!

[Deleted]

I really had no clue...lol. When I couldn't BF it devestated me probably because it never crossed my mind. I think it spun me into PPD that I didn't address. I cried constantly for weeks...DH & my Mom were stunned because it was 100% unlike me. I pulled out of it & actually really enjoyed having DD1 as a baby. DD2 was colicky for months on end plus DD1 was not an easy toddler...not in the least. It was way, way harder than I anticipated. I was completely alone as well (SAhM in a new city). I swore up & down I'd never have another baby...then DD3 was unplanned. I felt great for about 1mo post partum & handled it well...then unbeknownst to me my thyroid tanked. The following 10months were the worst in my life. I could barely function. 3 kids kicked my ass so hard...and my DD3 had issues, so I spent months testing, therapy, worrying if she'll be able to walk, talk, have mental handicaps. I wanted to die at times...just the worry, exhaustion, everything. But it got better--we moved, I got meds, DD3 improved, etc. but NO I had no idea how hard it could be emotionally & physically. Moms who have even more to deal with have my utmost respect & credit.

[Deleted]

Like holly, it's been easier in some ways than I thought and harder in others. I read a TON on BFing because it was really, really important to us. Took a BFing class, read several books, and watched a bunch of videos. I was very very grateful that DS had a great latch from day 1 and aside for the normal pain and engorgement in the beginning, BFing has been a breeze. We're still going strong at 9 months.

I was also prepared to have PPD/PPA which never happened thank God. I have OCD for which I was in therapy for awhile, and I've never handled change well. Plus we moved to the country when I was 7 months PG, and became a SAH (as we planned). I kept watching for signs of PPD/PPA but they never came.

Like bncha and violets said, the hard part for me is feeling like I'm always running the show. Being a SAH nursing mom I knew ahead of time that that would happen, but I didn't realize what a toll it would take on me. DS is always there, always needs attention. DH is great with him, but he has a full time job, a commute, and the heavy lifting on the farm to take care of. He does what he can with DS, but I'm always "on." Even in the middle of the night, which I did not expect STILL at 9 months. There a lots of times when I really, really just want to nap, eat lunch, shower or whatever but I just can't b/c DS is there, awake, needing something (food, diaper change, nap of his own, etc...).

[Deleted]

It has been more difficult than I expected (especially during maternity leave, I thought I'd be able to sleep and get so much done LOL), and I have a pretty easy baby. But I was also finishing internship and a dissertation for a lot of that time so I think that cancels out the easy baby factor. It took having a baby of my own to really understand; I don't think any amount of reading beforehand would have changed that for me.

[Deleted]

I knew just enough to know it would be hard. I was not prepared for what BFing would be like though.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Like others, I underestimated the sleep deprivation. I thought if a baby eats every two hours, no problem -- you feed the kid for 30 minutes or so, then sleep for an hour and a half. Repeat all night until you've gotten 8 or so hours. HA! My kid nursed for over an hour and would only sleep in my arms. I was too terrified of killing her to co-sleep, so I just tried to *not* sleep. Sleep deprivation is a very scary thing.

Also, my child had colic and screamed for hours and hours every day.

Other than DD's first 6 or so months, though, it's been about like I expected. Some parts are easier because DD and I are so similar :-)

Oh, except for sleep training. That was really, really hard, and I didn't expect it to be.

[Deleted]

I'm not sure if it's easier than I thought it would be, or if my expectations for a clean home have just gone down. Honestly, 1/2 of me thought it wouldn't be bad at all, and the other 1/2 of me listened to the moms here who had such a difficult time. We're super laid back though and DS is super easy, always sleeping great, latching great, and all around happy. It also helps that DH and I work different shifts, so we don't need a DCP and when he fusses while I sleep, DH takes care of him.

He's still only eight weeks though, so we'll see how long that lasts!

[anna7602]

Nope. DH and I waited a long time to have a child for a reason. I do have to admit, though, that I was surprised to learn my baby only came with "cry," "poop," "sleep erratically," "nurse" and "cry some more" modes. She didn't do the quiet-alert thing for several months. I thought all babies did that right away. Now I know that those are just the babies people take out of the house regularly.

[Willis Jackson]

Dec 15, 2012 10:25:25 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Nope. DH and I waited a long time to have a child for a reason. I do have to admit, though, that I was surprised to learn my baby only came with "cry," "poop," "sleep erratically," "nurse" and "cry some more" modes. She didn't do the quiet-alert thing for several months. I thought all babies did that right away. Now I know that those are just the babies people take out of the house regularly.

DS must have come from the same factory.

I was always jealous of the people in the grocery store whose babies were just looking around, enjoying the sights.