Screw you sarcoidies!

[ninjatofu]

Grrr snarl.

Dear Buddha, if you're listening, and feeling generous, I'd like to leave the hospital now please. Yes, the ring of special needs pirate prostitutes on the ward are highly entertaining, but I would still prefer to go home. Yes, I am contributing to what I'm sure us valuable medical research, but I'd still rather be home. So if you could either give me a mulligan on this whole disease thing or at least swap it for something curable that would be very much appreciated, and I shall devote my life to rebuilding a great forest and promoting vegetarianism through batman comics and hilarious pictures of cats. I promise. I'll even pinky swear.

Also, if you could please inspire someone to do something about the dire Mac n cheese situation down here that would be awesome.

[crimsonandclover]

:-( I didn't know you were in the hospital, Tofu. But it sounds like it's voluntary, at least?? I hope you get out soon.

[clogged]

Ok ok ol ok. If you get out I'll just buy you the damn pony. Ok? You can stop trying to fill your punch card for it.

[ninjatofu]

Sadly, no, not voluntary. It's entered my brain and caused it to swell. I went in for a routine appointment on Monday and have been here ever since. It's looking like if things go well I'll be going home on thursday or Friday of next week. I hope.

Ukyankee just brought me 9 hours worth of Black Adder, so that should help!

I read a funny article about House the other day that described Sarcoidosis really well in that a genetic predisposition + an environmental trigger or virus causes your immune system to go bat shit insane- very accurate description and even my neurologists were laughing and agreeing with that.

So this time Paul and the girls got The Man Flu and it nearly killed me and that's how I ended up here.

On the plus side, the lumbar puncture relieved the pressure in my head and it was sheer bliss. On the down side, it took them 11 tries to get to my spinal fluid.

Sonofabitchow!

[clogged]

Admit it.... when you get you disease as a theme on House you get tingly in you no-no bits. Doncha?

How is the swelling going? I mean, you say "well" but is that "well as in not worse" or "well as in swelling going down"? Can the do anything for it or is it just wait and see? Cuz thus really sucks. I would like you better now, kthnkbai.

[ktkl09]

Lots and lots of vibes Tofu!

[dulcemariamar]

I am so sorry Tofu to hear that you are back in the hospital. I am sending you some major vibes that you get out of there ASAP.

And I dont understand how they could mess up Mac n Cheese. Even if they make it from the blue box it is delish. Now I have a craving for the Mac n Cheese from KFC.

[crimsonandclover]

Ah, when you said you were contributing to medical research I thought you meant you were participating in a study of some sort. I'm glad that you're feeling a bit better and hope you can go home soon!

And I love House, although I would prefer never to get anything that has been featured on that show, tyvm.

[blushing]

I can't believe you are still there. If I lived closer I would bring you some mac and cheese with broccoli in it. And cake.

[dorothyinAus]

Huge "Get Better So You Can Get Home Soon" vibes to Tofu.

[CakeLover]

Boooo! I'm sorry you are back at the hospital. I hope it gets better before it gets worse. P.S. I need to know more about the pirate prostitutes. Please share.

[Deleted]

Tofu, I'm so sorry you're there!!! I'm sending you my best get well soon vibes! ::::hugs:::: to you!

[Cheesecake]

Oh man, Tofu, that really truly sucks! Special needs pirate prostitutes sound cool though! Many vibes and such for you to get to go home soon. Oh and for Dr House to figure out an actual cure for the sarcoidosis. We always joke about the sarkies when watching House, but it's super sucky to actually have something so prominently featured on House.
Yuck!

So get well soon - and tell us about the pirate prostitutes!

[violetsmommy]

Get well soon and sending loads of good vibes your way!

[popcorn]

Son of a bitch, that blows!

I hope you get out soon. I'm sorry you're back in.

Sending many vibes your way.

[pittpurple]

Oh Tofu, this is rubbish. Rubbish I tell you!
PLEASE let me know if there's anything I can do from here. I swear, I would deliver you mac n cheese every day if I could. I feel like mailing it would just be an amusing disaster though. Stupid, stupid sarcoidies. :-(

[clickerish]

Jello. At least they aren't serving jello? Hang in there?

[Deleted]

You want me to kick anyone's ass?

[americaninoz]

oh that sucks I hope you get out soon & feeling better too

[ninjatofu]

Okay, I feel like an ass now.

The pirate special needs prostitutes visit a guy with a learning disability that is here on the ward. He's also missing the back half of his head. They all go to the same school, and all have learning disabilities. I don't know why the dress like prostitutes, or pirates.

However, last night they brought him in some alcohol and he got rip roaring drink. The nurses found this out when they pulled back the curtain because they were being so loud and they were having a threesome.

What. The. Fuck.

[clickerish]

I am voting this story the best hospital story ever. Seriously? A threesome?

[ninjatofu]

I think I attract crazy people.

[pittpurple]

Oh wow. I need to come hang out with you just to see what happens. My life is so boring!!!

[ninjatofu]

Also, my new roomie is an 84 year old crazy, loud, racist Italian woman. And she prefers to be nekkid.

[americaninoz]

Omg tofu!!!! Well at least your ward mates are keeping the stay interesting for you

[CakeLover]

Oh my goodness! These updates are hilarious!! I want you to leave the hospital soon but damn I'll miss these stories. I think God or Buddha or whatever has a great sense of humor. If you have to be in the hospital they have made it interesting for you.