Night wakings Question

[karinothing]

How the heck do I figure out if something is wrong vs. DS just waking up for the hell of it? Is there some magic trick I am missing.

We have been battling an ear infection but he has finished his antibotics and hopefully is fine. He is not scratching/pulling his ear. He has no issues nursing (although he didn't have problems with it was infected either).

The past two nights he has been up for like 1.5 hours in the middle of the night. He goes down fine initially but like once he wakes up he is just awake. Basically it goes like this

DS starts screaming. I watch him on the monitor and he is walking back and forth in his crib. he screams then waits a second and screams and waits a second (looking at the door).

I walk in the room and he starts to laugh and then babbles when I pick him up and points at things.

If I nurse him he seems to eat a full meal and then will "fall asleep" with his head on my shoulder. However, the minute I put him down he starts to pull back up again and either screams or laughs (laughing if we have already done this one time before).

I tried to lay down with him in bed but he just screams until I nurse him and then just nurses FOREVER.

We tried to use some feber skills but after the two 15 minute crying jags (after the 7 and 10 minute ones before that) I gave in because I was exhausted. And by crying I mean walking around the crib screaming and then looking at the door. Oh also, he learned to pound on the wall. sigh.

I finally go thim to fall back asleep after 1.5 hours by just standing near his crib with my hand on his back for forever as he just lay their babbling. If I dared move he looked at me like WTF lady!

So he is probably just messing with me right? I can feel free to put in the ear plugs and not go in till morning? (totally kidding...kind of lol).

[Mushe]

Sounds like he's messing with you. We're going through something similar, and decided to do CIO. My kid seems to get more upset when we go in and try to get him to go back to sleep, so we'd end up doing like you're saying. Last night was our first night, and he alternately cried and futzed for a little over an hour. At 3 am. Joy.

[Deleted]

Ouch, I'm sorry Kari. This sounds tough and I wouldn't know what to do either, especially since he screams until you nurse him when you are in bed with him. Is it teething? Does he have any molars yet? My kid will be a hot mess and screaming many times throughout the night when a tooth is coming in, especially a molar. I hope things go back to normal soon.

[karinothing]

Dec 14, 2012 11:39:23 GMT -5 @choco said:

Ouch, I'm sorry Kari. This sounds tough and I wouldn't know what to do either, especially since he screams until you nurse him when you are in bed with him. Is it teething? Does he have any molars yet? My kid will be a hot mess and screaming many times throughout the night when a tooth is coming in, especially a molar. I hope things go back to normal soon.

He doesn't have molars yet. I try to look in his mouth but it is a no go. I have to make him laugh really hard lol. He has been kind of a mess in general (i.e. he had a seemingly unprovoked meltdown yesterday when he was just sitting in my lap reading a book).

I hope it is molars so there is at least an answer to the madness! I feel like i have giving him motrin every night for forever due to his ear infection. I don't know why but it makes me feel bad. I guess I can try some again tonight.

[Deleted]

I think he's messing with you.

Can you put DH in charge of night wake-ups and Ferber? This is what we did. It is a LOT harder for the breastfeeding mother to soothe a child in the middle of the night because the child will carry on much longer knowing the boobs are right there. Once we started the night weaning process for DD (and even before she was night weaned but after she established a solid nighttime schedule), DH was the primary nighttime parent.

DH was also just better at handling the CIO process than I ever was. It felt good to hand the reins over to him in that regard.

[Deleted]

Ok I just remembered how old your LO is, and I think he is definitely messing with you. This was around the time DS starting throwing his random tantrums too. Hang in there!

Btw, I hope pp's suggestion about sending your DH in works. Worth a try!

[bunch]

This is what dd does when she's getting a tooth or doesn't feel well. It's like the worst torture there is. Since she won't go back to sleep with or without me, I fully admit to closing my door and turning off the monitor for 30 minutes at a time or until she becomes hysterical.

[knitty]

How old is he? Nine months? Is he working on anything new developmentally?

I tried to lay down with him in bed but he just screams until I nurse him and then just nurses FOREVER.

How about just either not letting him nurse or nurse for a bit, then stop. Or have your partner go in to him?

[karinothing]

He is almost 14 months. He is working on walking. If I do in and don't let him nurse or only nurse for a bit he freaks the F out. I think you all are probably right about sending DH in. It is just hard to listen to. DH went in last night after I gave up and DS just screams, and pulls his hair, and pushes DH away. I guess 1. It is hard to listen to, 2. I feel bad for DH and 3. I don't want him to rip his hair out!

Sigh. Bnchanums I think our kids are in cahoots together. The worst part is that turning off the monitor doesn't even erally help since our place is so small. I can still hear him!

[bunch]

Oh, I can still hear her, too. She's right next door. It's just not as loud

[knitty]

Yeah, it's hard when they freak out, but it's your body. If you don't want to nurse him all night you don't have to. It's not like you're cutting him off. You'll go to him, nurse him and comfort him, but you just won't let him suck for an hour. Imagine you're denying him a pair if scissors of a fifth cookie and it will seem easier.

Have you read any weaning articles? (all restrictions on nursing is weaning, you use the same tricks) One thing that works for a lot of people is to sing a song while they nurse. When the song comes to an end, so does the nursing session. That gives them warning. I would also say "all done" or whatever you normally say shortly before you delatch him. There's an article by Jay Gordon on nightweaning which might be helpful.

[karinothing]

Thanks Knitty that was really helpful. I am going to check all that stuff out. I have started saying all done (which is what we say when he is done with dinner, or diaper changes, or whatever) so maybe that will help work. The song is a great idea too. Thanks!

[knitty]

Great! There are a few useful books, too: how weaning happens and mothering your nursing toddler. I think adventures in tandem nursing has quite a few good suggestions, but I'm not 100% sure on that. I would check out the no cry sleep solution for toddlers, too. If there's a LLL toddler group in your area they are a wealth of information, and will probably have those books for you to borrow.

www.lllofmd-de-dc.org/WashingtonDC.html
but looks like its a dying group, and toddler meetings are in the day, which, well, not vey useful.

[bunch]

We defeated dd's 4:30 wake up this morning. She's been getting up between 4:30 and 5 all week and then acting like a cranky pants all day. I just didn't go in. She yelled for a long time. Like what you're talking about - yell, scream, babble. Finally, an hour later, she went back to sleep until 6:45. I'm not thrilled, but it worked. Why won't these kids just sleep??

[asoctoberfalls]

He's messing with you. DS was acting exactly like this when we decided to sleep train. Periodic checks did not work for him... They just upset him more. So, we did full extinction. It took him about 40 minutes to fall asleep the first night, which wasn't too bad. During the middle of the night, he woke and cried for almost 2 hours. He's slept through the night every night since. (it's been about 9 months since).

[karinothing]

Well, I stopped the just being up in the middle of the night. After it happened for the 3rd night in the row I went in and nursed him told him I loved him but that he had to go back to sleep. For the next 35 minutes he alternated between screaming and just sitting down rubbing his eyes. He fell back asleep and slept his longest stretch in a long time.

He still wakes up at night, but I don't think I can do the "don't go in there at all" method yet. But I am going to try some of the other methods listed here. Thanks everyone!

[knitty]

I think that's totally reasonable for a 14 month old. You're showing him you're there, you love him, he can nurse, but it's sleeping time.

[hannamaren]

Layla was sick so would wake in the night coughing and we would give water.
Now she wakes up and wants water. We usually give in. We give it to her in a bottle, but I think to stop the wakeup, we will have to offer a sippycup. She doesnt really want the water, she wants the comfort from the bottle. (For you the breast) maybe offer milk in a bottle (probably have to be your H)
Sometimes I think she wakes up from peeing, but if I change her, she will wake up too much, so I just pull her diaper a bit away from her and change her position and say "night night"

[karinothing]

Ha, we tried to give DS water. He refused to accept it. I tried it in a sippy and a bottle and he looked at DH like WTF and pushed it away ha ha.

He sometimes will go back to sleep if he gets the bottle. He spiked a fever on Sunday (I think becuase of his diaper yeast infection) so I think maybe he has just been a sick mess and it is messing him up.

Also he seriously took a FIVE hour nap yesterday which has been longer than he is sleeping straight at night. sigh.

[bunch]

Fwiw, after 3 days of our "training" dd sttn last night for the first time in a week until 7:15. Sleep is such a constant battle. Add this to things I never knew that I never knew. I hope things get better soon!

[minzy]

Can you try talking to him over the monitor, without actually going into his room? Every now and then, that works for us.

[karinothing]

Our monitor doesn't have that option

I think we will try some sleep training again after 1. He gets over his fever/yeast infection and 2. we come back from our holiday travels.

Last night was a bit rough, but he was fine with me just standing next to him with my hand on his back. I am not really sure WHY that makes everything okay, but at least he went down pretty quickly after.