Am I creating a baby?

[sara76]

Amelia had a play date with her friend M last night. M is 2 months younger but much bigger. Maybe an inch taller and 10 lbs heavier. They have played together since day 1 and have always been so cute together. But it's been hectic lately and so its been about 3 months since we've gotten them together. M has gotten much bigger and really wild. Amelia was so happy to see her and wanted to play but M kept grabbing her face and making her cry. She cried like 4 times with the tears rolling, but as soon as I got her calmed down and happy again each time she would walk right up for more because she really wanted to play. It was like watching my baby get bullied on the playground. Next week I'm planning on leaving her there for about 6 hours while I work and now I'm a worried mess. I'm so torn between following my gut and hurting my friends feelings by saying in a round about way "your kids too mean", and coming up with other arrangements, or trusting my friend to take care of her like I know I can and trusting that it's good for them to play with others their own age. Amelia is not a wimpy kid, she runs around the play areas in the mall and gets bounced around by the big kids all the time. She is very resilient. And I was beginning to think that I'm a pretty chill mom when it comes to her playing independently and I haven't become an annoying helicopter mom. And I tried to let her figure it out on her own last night for the most part while making sure she doesn't get hurt of course. But she is not even a year old yet so I can't just let her cry and not pick her up and tell her everything is ok. And I'm worried that something is going to happen and she'll wonder why I'm not there to tell her everything is ok. But am I making a baby out of her? I know its such a judgement call but I'm interested in y'all's opinions. WWWCF do?

[jen812]

What did M's mom say/do when this was happening? That would be a huge factor for me.

[sara76]

Dec 15, 2012 11:10:55 GMT -5 jen812 said:

What did M's mom say/do when this was happening? That would be a huge factor for me.

Ms mom honestly handled the situation no differently than I would if the tables were turned. We were both right there. Amelia obviously wanted to play and allowing her to try was important to me. She encouraged M to be nice and share, was totally fine with A pushing back a little to protect herself the couple of times she did, and took Hers away when mine was upset. Other than just keeping them separated right now I don't know how it could have been handled better. M is still pulling up right now so she pulls up on Amelia and grabs her face because she's just so excited and used to playing rough with her dad. It might be better when they are both walking and Amelia understands better that she's able to run away.

[jennifer8080]

I'm on the opposite end of this. My kid is the face grabber. Not because she's being mean, she just doesn't understand, and so far I haven't been successful in stopping it.

Since your friend handled it well, and you know/trust her, I would probably still go through with your plans. If the mother was like yeah whatever and just watching her do it that would be a different story.

[tashaandsage]

I think because of how the mother is handling it that I would go ahead. At that age I don't think a child isn't capable of being mean or a bully, even if it feels that way. They just haven't learned yet how to be gentle enough or they are overly excited to play. More exposure with other children, along with the mother continuing to try to correct the behavior, is how she will learn to play nicer. I agree with Jennifer if the mother wasn't doing anything about it, I'd wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my child in her care, but it really sounds like she's doing exactly what she should be.