Anyone have a child who never stops talking?

[SusanBAnthony]

So first off, DS has speech delays and social skills delays (possibly Autism but we just had an eval and the result was "we don't know"). Or, he also possibly has ADHD-inattentive.

Anyway, HE NEVER SHUTS UP! He talks constantly. I have to constantly tell him to stop talking, so other people can get a word in. I am trying to tank of some examples.

Getting dressed or eating breakfast (or any other task like that where he is not personally motivated to get it done quickly) I tell him over and over to stop talking and concentrate on ______ fill in the blank. And then he will stop for a bite of food, then ask me another question, and I feel bad no answering his questions, but if I answer one, Antwerp always follows. So I remind him again, "I am not answering your question or talking to you right now bc right now we are concentrating on __________." And then after the 57th time of him once again starting to talk, I start to get frustrated!

The example that happened tonight was we went on a family walk to look at Christmas lights. The first half of the wa, DS kept up a constant, steady monologue, with quests s for me and DH peppered in. DH and I wanted to talk about a few things (admittedly boring adult things- the travel schedule for Xmas) and DS interrupted us over and over and over. And I started to get pissed and snap at him, and then he gets mad at me. He knows to say excuse me if someone else is talking. But he doesn't wait- he just barges right in ahead.

I tell him to talk to his sister but he doesn't want to talk to her, he wants to talk to me or DH, and he will interrupt and ignore my request to wait until I get mad. Ad I don't want to do that- I want him to talk to me and ask questions! But not for an hour straight with no break whatsoever!

I think it is partially missing the social conversational cues. I don't know what else. Is it just age or personality? Is this something I should bring up with his speech therapist? It seems like he only is is chatty with me or DH, though, so I don't know that it will help to work on it at school. We are starting private speech in January when our insurance changes, so I can definitely ask about it then, but in the mean time does anyone have strategies to suggest?

[SusanBAnthony]

It is sometimes that (if I never have to discuss electrical wiring or fans or Christmas lights again my life will be complete!) but it is also often just a stream of consciousness. Like he just likes to hear himself talk. "Mom look at that, did you see that? Mom, can we make cookies today? Mom why do you drive the white car and daddy drives the silver car?" Just random stuff that NO ONE CARES ABOUT. But then it seems so mean to say that since apparently he cares.

[SusanBAnthony]

That is spot on. I gotta page auntie. I need to know what she thinks.

[Deleted]

I have 3...well truly my oldest is the worst. She's 8 & still talks non-stop unless she's watching TV. In the car it drives me nuts. She was in ST & one of her issues was her speaking so much & fast that people couldn't understand her. She likely has ADD-in attentive too but for now we are dealing with that with her teacher through behavioral strategies (she actually virtually has a cubby of her own away from others in class so she can focus). She is getting better at focus as she gets older. She's not as crazy talkative with friends. She's not autistic but does have an LD (dyslexia). She very creative & smart & socially she does OK. I'd bring it up to your Ped & ST just in case they have advice. My DD does talk more to her sister snow that they are growing up. Hang in there!

[mollybrown]

This sounds a lot like my son. He is speech delayed and diagnosed mild ASD. I feel like screaming "STFU!" at him often, but then I feel guilty because we worked so hard to get him talking. I don't want to discourage him from talking, but man do I get tired of talking to him sometimes. It's usually about mundane observations. Or telling me the same thing he told me 5 minutes ago.

I think the interrupting is definitely part of the age. No idea about the rest. He also is constantly asking me why his sister is crying, or upset, or whatever else, but refuses to ask her. I chalk that one up to his ASD. No idea if that's correct.

I've been teaching him to say excuse me and wait to be acknowledged. That just leads to him yelling "Excuse me, Mommy!" until I acknowledge him.

I wish I had a strategy...

[statlerwaldorf]

My dd is always talking. She has a language delay and didn't start talking until 3. Sometimes it is questions, but most of the day it is just a running narration of her day.
She has a LeapPad and uses headphones with it. She will talk step by step what she is doing in the game even if no one else is in the room.

[Deleted]

I was like that as a kid. I wasn't as bad with friends or at school, but at home with my parents it was BAD. My Mom admittedly never shuts up. She has poor social boundaries. I grew out of it by late middle school when I learned to be embarrassed when others ( cousins, friends ect) pointed it out. I am still talkative & can go on about my interests but social boundaries & norms are natural for me now.

[livinitup]

I can't speak to a diagnosis, but I would encourage you to develop a strategy. It's okay to say that this isn't working FOR YOU, to develop a plan to change it. You may have some success with a behavior modification plan where you set-up expectation (for period of time, time of day or activity - like the walk) and give him positive feedback when he does it correctly. This way, you get to re-direct until he does it correctly, and then you get to praise. You can use visual cues for non-speaking time (like holding a red card when it's 'adults talking only time'), or a chart. Tune in to wht would motivate him to get with your program - a sicker, star, check mark, etc. Then do it.

I know lots of profesionals and moms who love Howard Glasser's approach. It may be a good fit for you:
difficultchild.com/nurtured-heart-approach/