random thought re: surrogacy

[CheshireGrin]

I'm sure it would depend somewhat on individual cases, but I don't see why not.

There are plenty of women who are okay with the idea of being a surrogate but don't want children of their own.

[angelaa73]

I heard they shy away from kidless surrogates

[CheshireGrin]

May 11, 2012 14:17:00 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Speaking of surrogacy, my local mom's group board had a thread the other day where someone asked if they should mention the surrogate in the birth announcement - and most of the respondents said yes! Very strange.

I can see how it would be a nice gesture to do so, but I certainly don't think it would be wrong not to mention it either. I think it would be weird if a surrogate were hurt/offended by not being mentioned in a birth announcement.

[EmilieMadison]

Theoretically, yes. But most perspective parents wouldn't choose a candidate who had not already had a successful pregnancy.

[Jermys]

May 11, 2012 14:17:00 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

(right, jermys? You aren't naming the birth mom in your baby announcement, are you?)

No, we keep all b-parent names private. I don't like to spread their info out there, even if it's just first names. It seems rude.

[hubes]

There's a difference in adoption and surrogacy though- surrogacy is much more deliberate and time-consuming to plan and implement. Right?

[sonrisa]

The implication was that they should do it for her. I don't know. I feel like the announcement should be about the !!!new baby!!! not the details. Of course, I put really minimal stuff in ours - her name and birthday. I'd think the surrogate needs much more and less recognition than that - a big, long heartfelt letter from all family members seems more appropriate than having your name announced to the ex-colleague of the kid's grandpa, you know what I mean? It isn't like she is looking for more business and wants the contacts.

[Jermys]

May 11, 2012 14:30:39 GMT -5 hubes said:

There's a difference in adoption and surrogacy though- surrogacy is much more deliberate and time-consuming to plan and implement. Right?

Yes, and you have a different relationship with a surrogate (the whole pregnancy), and may not have a relationship afterwards.

[hubes]

I agree with that.

I guess I could see doing it out of gratefulness (greatfulness?) if it was a close friend or family member, but just a rando? Na.

[CheshireGrin]

May 11, 2012 14:31:47 GMT -5 @astrid said:

I think they typically don't allow surrogates who haven't had children for potential carrying problems, potential attachment, all that kind of stuff.

I guess I was thinking more in terms of deciding to be a surrogate for someone you are close to, a girlfriend or a sister or something. For someone who is a "professional" surrogate, I definitely understand these concerns.

[hubes]

It's hard for me to explain, but there is a clear difference in my mind. I guess either way, someone gets a baby to love very, very much, and that's all that matters.