What do you think about homeschooling?

[dulcemariamar]

Okay, I am just going to admit that sometimes I read Kelle Hampton's blog.

She posted recently, that she decided to send her DD to kindergarten next year, even though it took her awhile to come to this decision because she was seriously considering homeschooling for her and that she is still open to the idea of changing her mind in the future.

I am not quite sure I understand the benefits of homeschooling. It doesn't seem that there were religious reasons behind it and it seems that she lives in a really nice neighborhood so the schools must be good. I could be wrong though. But in her situation, I dint understand why she would believe homeschooling could be the better option.

What do you think about homeschooling?

[bugabean]

I think it depends on the parents and the kids. Some people learn better in different environments, and sometimes the parents can provide that environment. My brothers and I went to good schools in nice neighborhoods, but we had very different experiences because we didn't handle the environment the same way. I know my mom wishes she had homeschooled one of my brothers for at least a few years.

[clickerish]

My education ran the gamut from homeschool to public school to private school to boarding school, and of all my experiences, the one I struggle most to redeem is homeschool. I HATED homeschool. My parents, while highly intelligent and educated, were not good teachers to their own children. The "I am your parent" coupled with "I am your teacher" dynamic was stressful. Was it better for me intellectually? Maybe in the short term. But learning isn't just about information but about figuring out people, how to think, and so forth. Teaching is also a skill, not just a matter of knowing things.

While I have no doubt that certain people are capable of being exemplary teachers to their children, I have met quite a few people who stand as proof that this is not the general case. Their parents are not educated and yet feel moved to educate. As a result, having conversations with those kids turned adults is like scraping your nails on a chalkboard. By all means, teach your child things you find important, but why does being an adult qualify you to teach every subject?

I am a teacher, a fairly good one according to most measures, but I would only homeschool my child if s/he were incapable of being in any other situation due to an act of God.

[frlcb]

I live in a good neighborhood but the school is not great. In fact my state ranks 48th in the country in education, so it has been a struggle for us to find the right school for ds. But I know I would never want to homeschool, because I don't have the patience for it and, more importantly, I don't have the education to teach my kids.

I know a lot of homeschooling families do co-ops, which would be better, but it isn't for us.

[clogged]

I would homeschool through elementary. In a heartbeat. But higher education would be beyond my skills. Like, how could I teach French and German when I don't speak them myself!?!?

[popcorn]

Don't really know how I feel about it. I do know my neices do online homeschool so their parents aren't their teachers. My sister did that as well for a year and she liked it, but didn't love it and wanted a bit more social interaction so she went to the local high school the following year.

I do think that when kids are older if the parents are teaching it is vey unlikely they will be able to help/teach the children complicted subjects like physics, math, etc. Also, I don't like that parents can simply neglect to teach their children concepts such as evolution or even simple sex ed which you get in (most) public schools.

I know my neices do it because their time is split between two houses -- my sister (their step-mom) and her husband's house and their mom's house. They just started this last year because it seemed like a way to simplify school stuff. I think they also were quite interested in doing it. But I'm not completely sure on all the details.

[Deleted]

I have not read over anyone else's answers but personally I think that it is a bad idea. Mostly because half a child's "education" is not the textsbooks and science labs but socialization aspect also.

Yes, home school children join clubs and sports and hang out with kids outside of the home school setting but not to the same degree that kids in school do.

Whether or not the child is social, our world is and you need to learn how to live in a socialized world.

[travelingturtle]

I used to think it was something I wanted to do. It's illegal in Germany, so it's not an option if we were to stay here. The more I think about it though, the more I realize it's just not for me and W. Just because he's in a traditional classroom environment doesn't mean he won't be able to also learn things that I feel are important to his education if he isn't learning it in the classroom. I think I'd rather play the role of an active parent involved with the school than the teacher.

My H's cousin homeschools her kids. I think they do more of a co-op type thing, but I don't really know the details. Her kids are great and it seems to really work for them. The county they live in strongly supports homeschoolers so there are a lot of resources available.

[Deleted]

Where I'm from homeschooling doesn't exist so aside from understanding the reasons behind wanting to homeschool one's children I personally would never consider it. I would definitely move around if it meant providing my (theoretical) children with the best education and/or social environment. I don't think it's healthy for a typical child to not interact and socialize with others during those crucial years.

I must say I have had a less than ideal school career from the social point of view, nonetheless I don't see how my parents could ever have provided me with the same learning and character forming experiences (or the friendships, relationships and dynamics) had they homeschool-ed me. Even more so from the educational point of view; even with them both being university professors I have received a phenomenal education in school that didn't stress any of us more than necessary.

Clickerish raises a valid point, the parent/teacher dynamic is very stressful, I remember having a really hard time when in middle school my mom insisted on sitting next me while I paraphrased Dante. I would have hated paraphrasing a lot less had I not had her on top of me like that!

If anything I'd be worried about how to make the same level of education available for my children, but I guess we can worry when the time comes

edit: typos

[NomadicMama]

My college roommate was homeschooled for a year because there was dispute with the teachers union and things were a mess in the district. Once things settled down, she, and her siblings, went back to their local public schools. In situations like that, as a temporary thing, I think homeschooling is a viable option.

As a long term situation, it is not something that I will do with my son--and (or because?) my background is in early childhood education. It is something, in theory, I could do. But, especially as an only child, I want my child to learn not only reading, writing, math, science and all the covered subjects, but I want him to be exposed to other people--children and adults. That is, IMO, part of one's education.

I worked with a girl who was the most spoiled, self-centered, egotistical and entitled brat I've ever encountered. I quit my job because I could no longer deal with her. She is an only child who was homeschooled by her parents. The "freedom" that she had to explore her interests and develop her "gifts" left her completely deficient in positive social skills.

I understand why families choose to homeschool. But, for me, I see it as a disservice to the child/ren. Co-ops help to overcome some of the challenges, but, IMO, not enough.

[crimsonandclover]

It's something I would consider if my child was having serious social problems in school that were affecting his/her learning. However, it's illegal in Germany, a fact which really irks me sometimes. Since we'll probably stay in Germany, the only possibility would be to change schools, which also might not solve the problem and might not be an option depending on where we live. I guess I'll just hope our children are all socially well-adjusted!

One of my good friends in college was homeschooled, and I recently asked her exactly how it worked since she was one of five children, so obviously they would be at different levels. She said it was a lot of self-taught learning from textbooks with materials her parents got from a consortium in their area. Her parents both had natural science backgrounds, which was the part that a lot of parents would I think get stuck on. She said that sometimes groups of homeschoolers would get together and rent a lab for a few days so they could do the science experiments for chemistry or biology. It seemed to have really worked for her, as she got straight A's in college and still loves her parents :-)

[marynjoe]

I know a few people who homeschool, and they all do it because they want a more Christian centered education for their kids. They follow a certain cirriculum which is very detailed. They are part of co-ops, so the kids actually switch off teachers/homes each day depending on the lesson. They have many parents in the co-op, each has skills to teach in certain subject areas. Their co-op is also very active with extra cirricular activities, so the kids are in sports, do field trips, volunteer, do all kinds of things. They all have well rounded, social, intelligent kids who are in or plan to attend college. That type of homeschooling is okay by me.

If you're talking about people who don't follow a cirriculum and just wing it at home or don't have the knowledge base to do it properly, it's not okay by me.

[crimsonandclover]

Of course, then there's this extreme:

abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/unschooling-homeschooling-book-tests-classes/story?id=10410867#.T8K_xsUxOSo

Although even in the "unschooling" movement there is a spectrum, and the parents interviewed here seem to be extreme unschool-ists with no rules in any area of life.

[blushing]

I like my sanity too much to do home schooling, but if DH suddenly had to get a job that required us to travel a lot then I would consider it instead of putting DS in different schools every 6 months. At least that would be some stability.

[pittpurple]

I would have absolutely hated homeschooling. However... my mom regrets not doing it with my brother. He has aspbergers and ADHD and was horribly, horribly bullied in elementary school. He's also a genius so he spent his entire elementary years being bored and teased and hating every moment of school. I can't think of anything he learned from the experience and it was truly awful to witness. My mom could have definitely taught him anything he learned in school that year - she has a master's in education. Looking back at it, she wishes she would have homeschooled until 5th grade and then mainstreamed him for middle school and high school. He had been in therapy, etc for years by then and was much better able to cope, but since he was at school with all the same kids, his problems continued until we moved when he was 14.

I don't know what I would do in the same situation - I don't think I have the patience to do it, and I definitely don't have the skills past elementary school, but if my kids are going through the kind of stuff my brother did, I think I've learned that I need to do some out of the box thinking.

[fernane]

If we are still overseas, or if we are in the states and can afford it, I plan to homeschool with a co-op type group. I used to be against it, mostly bc I wanted my children to have the same fun experiences in school that I had, but more and more I realize that the decline in quality of education in America would not allow that either way. I grew up in a family of teachers and remember them always being able to do fun, hands on things with their classes and generally make it a fun place. Now they are retiring and can't stand teaching in the states bc their creative freedoms have all but been stripped, as public curriculum has become so black and white, the only focus on ensuring that kids pass the standardized test.
I would prefer to teach at home and in the way that my child(ren) learn best while making it fun, doing field trips, and knowing what exactly they are being taught.
I know how important socialization is and would also focus on ensuring lots of it. So many homeschool groups do the same functions (sports, dances, etc) as public schools.
I'm also a firm believer that a good chunk of education comes from the world, not a textbook and want time to take them out and explore/learn through the world around them and nature itself. I don't want a child who only sees pictures of the forest in a science book bc they are in a classroom 8 hours a day, I want them to see it firsthand.
Being a parent I am also responsible for what my children are exposed to/taught until they are of an age they can fully think critically for themselves. At a public school all day, I have no idea or control of what they are being taught or being exposed to and I just don't like that idea.
Guess I'm the only one but those are my thoughts.

[mrspurdy]

Our schools here are good up until Standard 6 (Grade 8). The local highschool is okay but there are some pro and cons. I have two friends who are putting their daughter together to do an online school program. I can see both good and bad but agree with most people it really depends on your child and the school. I also think the online schools are getting much better then what they use to be.

[anna7602]

It's not for me or my family. Heck, I sent DD to preschool at the earliest possible moment, when she was just over two years old. She got so much more from that experience than she could have gotten from me, socialization-wise and language wise (she didn't really speak English until she started school back in the U.S.). Plus, I really liked having a break from her during the day, both to focus on my own work and just to be someone besides "mami" for a certain number of hours/week.

I am still not sure how I feel about it as a choice for other people. I am inclined to say I think school is a good thing in general for kids, but I guess I would have to know more about an individual's situation. I don't have any friends IRL who have homeschooled their kids. The handful of people I know who were homeschooled themselves are a little socially awkward, but it's hard to say if this would have been the case regardless. I know a lot of socially awkward people who went to regular schools!

[singingpilgrim]

I plan on homeschooling. I'm not a mom yet, but I've decided this for years.

In college, my best friends were pretty much all homeschooled. I knew about 13 homeschooled girls in college (I went to an all women's college) and they were all amazing. They were internally motivated in a way I wasn't. They were the movers and shakers on campus, the presidents of organizations and big lifters in student government. They had double majors and were on the dean's list. They were very well rounded, very well grounded, and very pleasant.

Socially what I noticed was they'd seem socially awkward at first.. but then they'd adapt quickly from awkward to excelling, where as most people would come in average in a new situation, and then stay there. Public schools teach kids to fit in with the crowd, but also to stay there. The homeschoolers only seemed to not be exceptional if they didn't want to be.

I have done a ton of research since and socially homeschooling, when done right, does socialize quite well... just very differently. In publish school you learn how to get along in a situation where you're with 30 of your exact peers and one adult. In homeschool social education you learn how to get along and communicate with people older, younger, in formal roles, informal roles, etc. So to people used to public school socialization, the homeschooler appears awkward. But typically isn't not really better, it's just different. And actually, since the workplace isn't as divided by age and authority as much as public schools are, this can give a probably homeschooled child an edge to integrating into the public sector.

However, homeschool can be done wrong. One thing you do have to know is homeschooling is only going to go as well as the parent facilitating it sets it up to go. But I plan on researching and diversifying my child's education.

One thing I said before was that my friends were internally motivated. That's because in middle school, the homeschool child shifts from having the parent/teacher motivate the learning to motivating themselves. In high school, most homeschoolers teach themselves with aided curriculum because their studies have usually surpassed their parents. How this is done differs household to household from online courses to correspondence classes to just buying a curriculum and the chidl does it, but it usually happens for at least most if not all subjects. So that when the homeschooler goes to college, they already know how to direct their own education in a way that public school children don't.

One downside of homeschooling is often dealing with external pressure is less, such as a deadline. A parent might set a deadline for an essay, for example, but if their child doesn't do it, they probably won't be as harsh as a public school teacher might.

My favorite thing I'm looking forward to with homeschooling my someday kids is how they don't' have to waste time. I never realized how much time was wasted in public school until a homeschooled friend pointed it out. But the truth is, often I'd finish my math problems and then have to sit there for five to fifteen minutes for the rest of the class to catch up. I never liked math much to begin with, but after this day after day, I got very bored. Math always came easy to me, so I never learned to push myself in elementary school. In late middle school for the first time math was hard... and I had no idea how to study it. Everyone else had learned earlier, but when I was a kid I basically looked at a problem and knew the answer. So now my teacher had no patience with me as I struggled to figure out how to cope with this new challenge, and teh consequence is I really lost my giftedness at math. I made Ds and have never taken above precalculus.

My kids will never have to go through that. When they finish their math, we can move on to a new thing. If they've mastered a skill, they can be challenged to learn a new one right away, instead of sitting bored for two more weeks while the rest of the class tries to learn the unit.

And if there's something they struggle with, we can slow down and use that time they saved constructively so we don't get behind. I struggled with spelling in fourth grade, the same year we spent four weeks at the beginning fo the year reviewing 3rd grade math which I hadn't forgotten at all during the summer. If I'd had the same curriculum but had been homeschooled, obviously this would have been a much more productive year for me. That's the gift i'm looking forward to giving to my children.

And yes, I also think it'll be great to bring Christ into my kids' education as a Christian. But honestly, I was a Christian in public school and my faith survived. My faith isn't my main motivation, but it's an incredible bonus!

[ninjatofu]

That's very interesting. I'd never want to home school the twins, though. I think that the social aspect and structure is a good thing, and as I work and Paul will return to work when the girls are older it wouldn't work for us. I also don't think I could teach them objectively without any bias, such as religious education. I think it's great for kids to learn about religion in school, as they sure as hell won't be getting that from us. I also thi k that it's good for them to discuss and challenge their learning among diverse peers, which they wouldn't get being homeschooled.

Plus, I wouldn't want to deprive my children of the two greatest elementary school experiences: dodgeball and recess. I'm cruel and cold hearted, but even I draw the line there.

[blushing]

May 30, 2012 2:37:21 GMT -5 @publius said:

I'm not a mom, so my opinion might change by the time I have a kid of school age, but I have a sneaking suspicion that by the time I have a kid old enough to go to school I'm going to be ready for a break from the kid. I understand why some people homeschool, but the reason I'm not a teacher is because I have zero desire to be around little people all of the time. I can't see why my desires would suddenly change just because the kid was my own.

Am I wrong in assuming that there are times that parents need breaks for their own sanity?

This is the very reason why I don't think I could homeschool. I wanted to be a teacher, still do, but I found that teaching is very different to parenting (I spent a fair amount of time in the classroom when I studied to be a teacher). With teaching you send the kids home at the end of the day and still have your nights to "yourself". Parenting is non stop 24/7.

[Waffles]

May 30, 2012 2:37:21 GMT -5 @publius said:

I'm not a mom, so my opinion might change by the time I have a kid of school age, but I have a sneaking suspicion that by the time I have a kid old enough to go to school I'm going to be ready for a break from the kid. I understand why some people homeschool, but the reason I'm not a teacher is because I have zero desire to be around little people all of the time. I can't see why my desires would suddenly change just because the kid was my own.

Am I wrong in assuming that there are times that parents need breaks for their own sanity?

I'm completely with publius on this. Andplusalso, I think it's necessary for kids to be around other kids & out of the house on a daily basis. I'm having difficulties wording this right but I want them to be aware of (and taking part in) everything the world has to offer in terms of different lifestyles, cultures, etc. and that's unlikely to happen from the confines of one's home.

[bugabean]

I wish I had been deprived of dodgeball. Ugh.

That's my biggest (maybe even only, really) concern with homeschooling, publius. I love my girls, but all day long is just too much.

[singingpilgrim]

Well we wouldn't be limited to the confines of our own home. While we'd probably spend time there, of course, if we were doing a unit on art, we could go to a museum or gallery. If we're studying science we can go outside and collect leaves or such to study. If we're studying basic math, we could head to the store and teach about pricing, taxes, etc.

I'd also plan on enrolling my kids in social situations, such as community sports, dance classes, scouting, etc. (Depending on what my community offered). And there are also usually homeschooling groups which pool resources and have events (like proms!), though in India that hasn't caught on yet. Homeschooling in India is on the rise (that's where I'm moving- I was RyansBelovedBride on TN btw) but it's not so large yet that co-ops have formed. But perhaps by the time my kids are old enough for school, since they don't exist yet.

One of the awesome things about co-ops is the parents will team up to make up for weaknesses. For example, if I'm weak in math, I would let my kids go learn math at the house of another parent who is good at it, and then they'd send their kids to my house to learn English for example. In this way they'd not only get better instruction, but they'd also learn with children other than their siblings, while still having few enough for the kids to get individual attention (let's face it, schools advertize based on teacher student ratios for a reason! In this way homeschooling rules, with perhaps the exception of some mega families. :-P)

[bugabean]

Glad you found your way over, singingpilgrim. Homeschooling is not popular at all in Denmark, so I'm pretty sure a co-op would be out of the question for us. I had signed up on a Danish homeschooling website a while back just to read more, and the whole site died. There's now a mailing list that gets 0-2 messages a month.

I guess actually I have two concerns, since the other one is money. I'm not working now and it's really not working for us anymore. Unfortunately the job market isn't working for us either. Theoretically, it may be possible for me to get a job just in the short-term and then leave to homeschool the girls, but that remains to be seen. It is absolutely not going to be possible for me to not get one at all. Unless we win the lottery. So at least for the first few years, they'll have to be in public school. No choice. I guess if it becomes a choice, we can evaluate how we feel about the education they're already getting and whether we think we can do better at home, in a private school, or whatever.

[Cheesecake]

In NL you can only get permission to homeschool if your child has serious (mental) health related issues wht hw;she can't go to a regular or one of the many types of special ed schools. It invilves lots of testung beforehand and the dept of education will watch you like a hawk!

And I think that's a good thing! I think homeschooling should be a last resort solution. And the govt should just make sure they provide decent education.

I have fat fingers, please excuse typos!

[singingpilgrim]

Thanks bugabean.

That's true, it is a financial sacrifice because you at least have to give up at least part of one parent's income (typically one parent works full time in homeschooling families while the other stays home, but sometimes that one works from home or has a part time job when the other parent is home to watch the kids). Because of this, homeschooling is more expensive than public schools. But it's less expensive than private schools while the educations is usually closer to the private school experience (better student teacher ratio for example).

Finances are the main reason I could see Ryan and I deciding not to homeschool, if it became necessary for us both to work full time. However, we'd probably rather make lifestyle sacrifices first (smaller house, one car, etc).

Other reasons include if one of our kids had a special need. I believe I could educate an average or gifted child just fine, but I may or may not be able to learn enough to give a child with a learning disabilities the edge they'd need... however, some parents homeschool for just that reason, because they believe the public school systems can't give enough to their child's special need. A lot of this would depend on the quality of the local public school. So if we find ourselves with a special needs child, I'd consider sending them to school.

Another reason would be if there was a special talent our older child had. For example, one of my homeschooled friends' brother went to a normal school for high school because he was very talented at sports and their parents recognized that he could get a sports scholarship for high school, but not if he was homeschooled. So they sent him to school so he could be seen by scouts. A situation like this might also happen with another talent as well.

[bugabean]

May 30, 2012 4:55:42 GMT -5 Cheesecake said:

And the govt should just make sure they provide decent education.

"Just"? Like that's easy? I wish I had confidence that the government would always have the information and resources necessary to provide a decent education to every child, regardless of their learning style, giftedness, handicaps, disorders, etc., or to even know what a decent education is.

[Deleted]

Public schools teach kids to fit in with the crowd, but also to stay there.

In publish school you learn how to get along in a situation where you're with 30 of your exact peers and one adult.

Maybe in your school district but this is completely FALSE in the schools I went to. I was taught to be a leader and strike for something bigger than my community. We were also in "block" schooling so we didn't spend the entire day with the same 30 peers.

I would send my kid to private school before home schooling.

[clickerish]

May 30, 2012 7:09:38 GMT -5 bugabean said:

Like that's easy? I wish I had confidence that the government would always have the information and resources necessary to provide a decent education to every child, regardless of their learning style, giftedness, handicaps, disorders, etc., or to even know what a decent education is.

Maybe the government doesn't, but while I try to respect individual choices, I really think it's far too easy to homeschool in the US. I'm not sure it's okay for a parent to be able to yank their kid out of school for an education that involves brainwashing their child into believing the world is on the edge of Armageddon. I also don't think that the reasons why parents homeschool are always for the good of the child. I am jaded, however, which is why I would never vote for anything to outlaw it, but merely for it to be a process you have to actually work on a bit.