IHO me - (as if that doesn't sound self absorbed)

[Kit]

I did basically exactly that.

We owned a home and I was so desperate to get out...I walked away from it.

[Deleted]

I'm in no financial position to do anything.

Also, my parents would provide me with zero support.

[textbookcase]

I couldn't just pick up and go without planning, no. I'm a sahm with no income independent of my h.

[speckledfrog]

I'm glad other people are saying no. I have zero intentions to leave MH but I was starting to feel weird that I couldn't!

[lightbulbsun]

Dec 19, 2012 13:43:17 GMT -5 leeann said:

Yes, we own a home, so it wouldn't be as simple as "walking away" but financially, yes.

this

[scotty]

Health insurance would be an issue, but I have enough money to do so, yes.

[partiallysunny]

Dec 19, 2012 13:43:04 GMT -5 TR said:

Yep. He'd be totally fucked because I support us. He would probably just move in with his parents, though, because they've supported his sister before and would likely do the same for him.

Same. Except "sister" should be "sisters".

[annyong]

Yes.

[Bernadine]

Yes, I did. If I hadn't gotten help from my parents, I would have found a place to rent and just stopped paying the mortgage.

[cuddlyevil]

I would have to move out of the house and probably move the kids and I into a rougher area. But, I could do it. It wouldn't be easy, but it could be done.

[cheeseandcrackers]

Yup, i could.

[Deleted]

As of right now, yes.

We are creating a joint account soon (not all the money) so the only thing that would require then is me pulling "my share" of the money out from it.

I could pack up the kids and walk away -- my parents would help me no questions immediately asked.

[gullterre15]

I basically did just that. I am fortunate enough to have kept my house that I bought before meeting DH (it's worth half of what I paid for it....whoops not THAT lucky), so all I had to do was tell my renters that they would have to move out at the end of their lease. Luckily we only had a joint bank account and I had gotten one of my own at the beginning of the summer based on DH's irresponsibility with spending. Bills, etc were still mostly in his name bc we never changed them into joint.

[Deleted]

Dec 19, 2012 14:07:56 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

I'm glad other people are saying no. I have zero intentions to leave MH but I was starting to feel weird that I couldn't!

It's not something I think of often at all. Actually just once in the 7yrs we were together, briefly.

But it is something I consider when I take jobs, think about SAH part-time, etc. I will *always* have my own bank account, even if it has a pittance in it.

It's something my mother ingrained in me -- you HAVE to be able to be independent b/c you don't know what could happen -- and it's something I hope to pass on to my kids.

Though as white men they will have it considerably easier, lol.

[sugarbear]

DH would have to leave (and he would. Neither one of us can afford our two mortgages on our own, but my parents hold one of them and would let me not pay it for awhile... it's only $400, but it would allow me to pay the other mortgage ($1600) on my salary alone). We'd be tight for awhile, but I think I could make it work.

[Deleted]

I mean, after the actual leaving, it would be really tight on both of us.

So I hope if it ever does happen we are amicable enough to do it "nice."

[flex]

Yes. And I did. I swore that I'd live on toilet paper if I had to just to get out and away.

[TrickyBob]

Yes.

If we had children, that might be a different story.

[shoeless]

Yes, I'd take a huge financial hit and would be starting over at square one again, but it could be done.

[bleubook]

I can cover all of our monthly expenses on my salary but I'd definitely be more comfortable if I downsized my apartment. So I guess it would be possible.

[aliciar6]

yes, I did that with XH.

[Deleted]

Yes.

[Deleted]

Yes. I'm obviously not planning to but if I had to I could.

[jayded]

I think it might take some planning, I have a savings account of my own that would keep us afloat for a little while. As a sahm this is something that crosses my mind from time to time. We are happy and have never uttered the "D" word but I come from divorced parents so the happily ever after is tainted for me. I have a masters degree but it may take me some time to find employment.

[shostakovich]

I could.

[Deleted]

Yes.

[martini]

Dec 19, 2012 13:52:22 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

Dec 19, 2012 13:47:39 GMT -5 iheartvino said:

We only have a joint account. I'm currently on the mortgage but not on the deed. So yea, I'd be screwed.

But I have the ability to pay all of my bills, so as long as I could move in with a friend/family member, it would only take a month to get back on my feet, if I left with nothing.

I dont think that's possible. What kind of collateral would the bank have if you stopped paying? If you're on the mortgage, you have to be on the title.

My xdh was on the mortgage but not the title. Once we were divorced we signed a quit claim deed so the house was only in my name. We weren't able to get his name off the mortgage without refinancing-which I never did. Hindsight now because that house has been sold.

As for the original post...I am pretty confident I could do it on my own again if I had to. Our finances are already mostly separated anyway... I wouldn't let finances be a reason to stay in a crappy marriage for long... my answer might be different if I had kids tho.

[Gato]

Yes, that's just what I did. However, I was young, didn't have any kids, and we didn't own a home. It was pretty easy to leave.

I was, however, only working part time at the time (by choice). Money was a serious issue. I moved to a different city, lived alone in an empty apartment with just a mattress on the floor, and just kept plugging away at finding the right thing. Eventually I got my dream job and found my dream man.

[5thofjuly]

Yes, thankfully.

[awick14]

Dec 19, 2012 13:46:04 GMT -5 chedominique said:

Dec 19, 2012 13:43:04 GMT -5 TR said:

Yep. He'd be totally fucked because I support us. He would probably just move in with his parents, though, because they've supported his sister before and would likely do the same for him.

Change sister to brother and that's me.

Hypothetically of course.

Me to. I bring in 3/4 of our income, could afford the house and everything on my own.