why do I keep feeling frumpy & sad?

[ijack]

could it be hormonal?

[KaraOrNot]

I feel that way everytime I go to Ulta or Sephora. I feel the same when I go clothes shopping.

[Deleted]

Vitamin deficiency?

[sa]

I know how you feel. I hate feeling this way.

Sometimes I go out and I think I actually look half-way decent and then I inevitably see people that I think are better looking, more stylish, etc and then I feel like crap (l think to myself, how could I possibly think I looked ok?!? I'm gross).

I think the worst part is that I always thought people said you feel more comfortable with yourself as you get older, but I feel the opposite.

[explorer2001]

Do something you love or that make you feel loved and beautiful. Get fresh flowers, volunteer, spend time playing with kids or animals, dance go for a walk. Do something where the beauty of it isn't image perfect or commercially defined. It should help.

Remember they have to convince you that you need their product to sell,it to you.

[blackkitty]

Could it be a seasonal thing, like I typically start to get depressed in the winter time. Maybe you need to get some sunshine?

[soveryexcited]

I hate shopping for clothes in stores. I get frazzled, red, angry and frusterated. That is why I discovered that shopping online is amazing. I order whatever the heck I want, and then return whatever I don't want/doesn't fit/doesn't look good. That way I can try stuff in my house, when I feel like it.

[Kore]

Hugs! It's really hard to go shopping this time of year & not get in a bad mood. People are annoying and over-abundant. Adding that to not feeling well makes it hard to be positive. Hormonal BC made me feel crappy, too.

I can't remember, but are you on depression meds? If this continues, please talk to your doctor.

[wanderlustmom]

({) ({) ({) ({) ({) oh sweetie! I know I sound too unnaturally loving since you don't know me, but I lurk a lot and post a little more recently.

This has nothing to do with your looks and only your head. I know I'm being verbose and Pollyanna-ish, but love yourself. Look in the mirror and say HOT DAMN I look great. Get off the comparison train, even celebrities can find someone hotter than them. Find what you love about your looks and what you love about your personality and declare it ENOUGH. Life is way too short to compare. Rock what you have, laugh and have confidence. That is way more attractive than looking like Megan Fox. And I imagine she eats lovely things likes carrots and flax all day and wouldn't know what to do with a sugar cookie with buttercream. You are beautiful just the way you are. Trust me.

[Deleted]

I feel this way often when I'm shopping, especially lately. I was practically in tears (ok, tears were in my eyes so "practically" may not be correct) shopping 2 weeks ago because I just felt so fat and poor and like nothing in the entire mall was both cute, cute on me, and affordable.

I don't have any advice, just commiseration. Also, we used to be facebook friends and I thought you were really pretty and not fat.

But I know what you mean - I always see a million people thinner and with better hair who do their makeup better and feel like a giant frump when I shop. And some other times too, lol.

[phoenixrising]

I am deep in some disordered eating and some big time funk. My marriage blew up right around a year ago (I confronted my H about his affair on Christmas Eve), and my therapist tells me that I need to learn to trust myself, realize that "I am enough" (since I feel anything but that), and forgive myself. I am definitely not "there" yet, so I feel like crap much of the time.

Sorry you are feeling like crap as well. If it helps, I think you are so awesome! I have appreciated you so much this past year and hold you up as an example of how it CAN get better!

[Deleted]

How much caffeine do you drink? I was having serious issues with anxiety and feeling down about myself most of this year, and last month I finally decided I needed to try cutting out the caffeine. After a sucky 2wks, I feel much clearer and gentler with myself. Still need to lose 15lbs and feel frumpy, but the world is not coming to an end anymore.

[Deleted]

Dec 21, 2012 14:18:39 GMT -5 carrotsmakemefat said:

Dec 21, 2012 13:02:41 GMT -5 @historychick79 said:

How much caffeine do you drink? I was having serious issues with anxiety and feeling down about myself most of this year, and last month I finally decided I needed to try cutting out the caffeine. After a sucky 2wks, I feel much clearer and gentler with myself. Still need to lose 15lbs and feel frumpy, but the world is not coming to an end anymore.

I drink one lactose free cappuccino in the morning. No other caffeine. I drink non caffeinated hot tea and lots of water.

That's a lot better than my 4-5 cups a day Sorry there's no easy solution, hope you figure out a way to feel better soon!

[Deleted]

Dec 20, 2012 18:47:06 GMT -5 Kore said:

Hugs! It's really hard to go shopping this time of year & not get in a bad mood. People are annoying and over-abundant. Adding that to not feeling well makes it hard to be positive. Hormonal BC made me feel crappy, too.

I can't remember, but are you on depression meds? If this continues, please talk to your doctor.

Agree 100% that this time of year is the WORST for shopping. The people in the stores, the crowds, the picked over merchandise, UGH. I only go clothes / shoe shopping a few times a year in physical stores, in 2012 it was 3 times, and I usually am working with a stylist so it is always fun. The rest of the time, I buy online. The few stylists I use have gotten to know me over the years and know what looks good on me, so I'm not wasting time on styles that will look ridiculous on my body type. So...something to consider.

Some other thoughts:
I was a huge tomboy growing up, so never was really into makeup. But, I set an appointment up 5 years ago with the makeup counter lady at YSL and we worked together for an hour to help me figure out what worked for me. I now wear a very few of their products every day and always feel polished enough but not overdone. I cant deal with spending more than 5 mins a day on makeup, and that helped me feel polished and confident.

The right exercise and fitness routine is also huge. About 10 years ago, I put on about 10lbs and sort of freaked out. My mom is overweight, as is my dad, and I did not want to fall into that trap. I realized that, for me, the right routine was in the morning before work. It gives me a ton of energy, even though it still sucks every now and then when the alarm goes off. BUt, I have NEVER felt worse after a workout than before.

Hope you are able to find something that works for you! I cant recall your marital status, but having a supportive partner is also key for me. Good luck.

[hlke]

It is really normal to have body image issues when your body changes due to medical issues. (((hugs))) Add that all of a sudden clothes don't fit right and it barely seems worth buying new clothes because who knows if you'll be able to wear them in a few months, plus at least for me my skin can get awful when my medical stuff is off and it's like "OMG, my body fails at letting me look normal and healthy, let alone good".

It's not very MM-friendly, but I'd try to get out shopping and buy some new clothes. Try to go in with the attitude that you just need to find what fits right, without worrying about the size or the fact that you may try on every single thing in the store. I've dealt with a lot of medically related weight fluctuations, so I shop at discount stores (Target, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, and I kid you not, KMart), but I only buy things that fit me perfectly or can be tailored to fit me perfectly. It has made such a HUGE difference in how I feel about myself.

Other things that really helped me was cutting out caffeine completely (a much bigger difference than cutting back to only a little caffeine), taking vitamin D (found out I was deficient) and a B complex (BC can cause low B6, which is associated with anxiety), and changing up my skincare as my body got wackier and wackier (I'm sensitive to about a zillion ingredients these days).