Parties and kids

[annadala]

We just had a BBQ and there were kids here. I gave them games, chalk, squirt guns, etc to play with OUTSIDE. The food was OUTSIDE. It's a BBQ for crying out loud.

I walked in to the house and DH's BFF is letting his 1 and 2 year olds eat cupcakes in the family room. On the carpet and my couch.

WTF???

There were crumbs, red white and blue sprinkles and frosting EVERYWHERE.

So, since the plan is to have more bbqs all summer is it ok for me to specify to them that their kids need to eat outside?

When my nephew comes over he sits at the dining room table or tonight he ate outside like the rest of us. I've never had to specify rules before...

[sailorgray]

Of course, it's okay. It's your place. You could just say "Ooo...kids, all cupcake eating outside or at the table" and be really light-natured about it. That being said, I'd prob let it go b/c I think it kinda comes with entertaining. I tend to be pretty relaxed about this stuff, though.

[texassmith]

It is part of the territory with entertaining and having kids there. That said, just ask that the sit at the table or keep it outside.

[emoflamingo]

Yes. I couldn't imagine taking my kid away from the party to eat in a special place. Of course, that would mean I could get my kid to sit long enough to eat. He is kind of a party animal and doesn't stop moving until he's buckled into his car seat and then he crashes in about a mile.

[aweilba]

I think it's okay to specify that. Just say that everyone needs to eat outside, not just the kids. If I were a parent, I wouldn't want my kids eating outside while I'm allowed to eat indoors. Make a "kids table" near the "adult table" and your problem should be solved. That being said, it might be hard to prevent any mishaps inside, just because you're having kids over and kids are curious, but it should cut down on the likelihood.

[statlerwaldorf]

I think it is okay as long as you specify that rule for everyone. It sounds like something DH would do (let DD eat a cupcake on the couch). Sometimes he is just clueless on just how messy she can be.

[Deleted]

Totally fine to specify.
But WTF who as a parent thinks it's okay to let their kid eat a cupcake on someone else's couch?
I've had parents at parties ask if they could take their kids to the kitchen table to eat because they're distracted, tired, making a scene, whatever reason. Perfectly fine IMO but on the couch? I don't think so.

That's my opinion and you know I'm about as easy going as it comes.

I'd just keep it light and say, "Hey, it's so nice and everyone misses you outside, how about we take it back there, cupcakes and all. C'mon I'll help you."

[tarheels]

May 28, 2012 9:49:26 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

Totally fine to specify.
But WTF who as a parent thinks it's okay to let their kid eat a cupcake on someone else's couch?
I've had parents at parties ask if they could take their kids to the kitchen table to eat because they're distracted, tired, making a scene, whatever reason. Perfectly fine IMO but on the couch? I don't think so.

That's my opinion and you know I'm about as easy going as it comes.

I'd just keep it light and say, "Hey, it's so nice and everyone misses you outside, how about we take it back there, cupcakes and all. C'mon I'll help you."

This.

[annadala]

May 28, 2012 9:49:26 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

Totally fine to specify.
But WTF who as a parent thinks it's okay to let their kid eat a cupcake on someone else's couch?
I've had parents at parties ask if they could take their kids to the kitchen table to eat because they're distracted, tired, making a scene, whatever reason. Perfectly fine IMO but on the couch? I don't think so.

That's my opinion and you know I'm about as easy going as it comes.

I'd just keep it light and say, "Hey, it's so nice and everyone misses you outside, how about we take it back there, cupcakes and all. C'mon I'll help you."

Yeah, it takes a lot to upset me but letting your toddler walk around on my carpet with a cupcake and no plate is definitely on my list of irritations, lol.

I tried being all nice about it but the 2 yr old threw a FIT so I had tell dad "I wasn't going to have the kids eat in here"

I guess I'm spoiled because my SIL has always made it a point that my nephew sits at the table to eat regardless of where they are or what he's eating so kids wandering my house with food has never been an issue before!

The last party we did at another friend's house same kids ground chips into her leather couch. I guess I just couldnt imagine letting my kids destroy someone else's house like that!

[Ramz-ee]

May 28, 2012 5:49:03 GMT -5 texassmith said:

It is part of the territory with entertaining and having kids there. That said, just ask that the sit at the table or keep it outside.

No it is not! Guests should respect their hosts home.

If I had a wine tasting at my house, would it be part of the territory for a drunk person to sit on my white carpet and fling a glass of red wine around? No.

[sratsey]

I don't allow children with food/drink outside my kitchen.
Absolutely allowed to specify,
And agreed with PPs that it's a HUGE fail on part of your H's BFF that he ever though that would be okay.
I will chalk it up to being a clueless male.

[vanillacourage]

How hot was it - hot enough that the kids needed to get out of the heat for a bit? We always set up a kid-friendly spot inside (a foot away from the door to the outside, lol) for just this reason.

[texassmith]

May 28, 2012 12:05:08 GMT -5 Ramz-ee said:

May 28, 2012 5:49:03 GMT -5 texassmith said:

It is part of the territory with entertaining and having kids there. That said, just ask that the sit at the table or keep it outside.

No it is not! Guests should respect their hosts home.

If I had a wine tasting at my house, would it be part of the territory for a drunk person to sit on my white carpet and fling a glass of red wine around? No.

I'm not saying it's part of the territory for them to purposefully make a mess. Not sure where you came up with that. I'm saying it is to be expected that there will be messes with kids around. Especially if you provide cupcakes with colored frosting and sprinkles. If you don't want that stuff in the living room, then say so.

[Deleted]

May 28, 2012 13:17:32 GMT -5 texassmith said:

May 28, 2012 12:05:08 GMT -5 Ramz-ee said:

No it is not! Guests should respect their hosts home.

If I had a wine tasting at my house, would it be part of the territory for a drunk person to sit on my white carpet and fling a glass of red wine around? No.

I'm not saying it's part of the territory for them to purposefully make a mess. Not sure where you came up with that. I'm saying it is to be expected that there will be messes with kids around. Especially if you provide cupcakes with colored frosting and sprinkles. If you don't want that stuff in the living room, then say so.

Here's the thing though..common sense and courtesy should apply. Grown adults that are parents muchless should know kids shouldn't be having cupcakes on a couch at home, at a friends or anywhere for that matter. They shouldn't have to be told something so simple. IMO that's purposefully making a mess. I have a never ending parade of kids in and out of my house. I'm used to them emptying cupboards at playtime, banging doors closed, screaming, taking the cushions off the sofa for a fort, tripping over legos and on and on. That's normal, harmless, easily picked up kid stuff of life. eating cupcakes and leaving sticky prints on the sofa with a trail of sprinkles is not.

But I guess it's all a matter of opinion and tolerance level at the end of the day. We were only allowed easy clean snacks (popcorn) in the LR and even then it was a treat. I plan to do the same with my own kid.

[Ramz-ee]

May 28, 2012 15:15:53 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

May 28, 2012 13:17:32 GMT -5 texassmith said:

I'm not saying it's part of the territory for them to purposefully make a mess. Not sure where you came up with that. I'm saying it is to be expected that there will be messes with kids around. Especially if you provide cupcakes with colored frosting and sprinkles. If you don't want that stuff in the living room, then say so.

Here's the thing though..common sense and courtesy should apply. Grown adults that are parents muchless should know kids shouldn't be having cupcakes on a couch at home, at a friends or anywhere for that matter. They shouldn't have to be told something so simple. IMO that's purposefully making a mess. I have a never ending parade of kids in and out of my house. I'm used to them emptying cupboards at playtime, banging doors closed, screaming, taking the cushions off the sofa for a fort, tripping over legos and on and on. That's normal, harmless, easily picked up kid stuff of life. eating cupcakes and leaving sticky prints on the sofa with a trail of sprinkles is not.

But I guess it's all a matter of opinion and tolerance level at the end of the day. We were only allowed easy clean snacks (popcorn) in the LR and even then it was a treat. I plan to do the same with my own kid.

Very well said, thank you.

[texassmith]

May 28, 2012 15:15:53 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

May 28, 2012 13:17:32 GMT -5 texassmith said:

I'm not saying it's part of the territory for them to purposefully make a mess. Not sure where you came up with that. I'm saying it is to be expected that there will be messes with kids around. Especially if you provide cupcakes with colored frosting and sprinkles. If you don't want that stuff in the living room, then say so.

Here's the thing though..common sense and courtesy should apply. Grown adults that are parents muchless should know kids shouldn't be having cupcakes on a couch at home, at a friends or anywhere for that matter. They shouldn't have to be told something so simple. IMO that's purposefully making a mess. I have a never ending parade of kids in and out of my house. I'm used to them emptying cupboards at playtime, banging doors closed, screaming, taking the cushions off the sofa for a fort, tripping over legos and on and on. That's normal, harmless, easily picked up kid stuff of life. eating cupcakes and leaving sticky prints on the sofa with a trail of sprinkles is not.

But I guess it's all a matter of opinion and tolerance level at the end of the day. We were only allowed easy clean snacks (popcorn) in the LR and even then it was a treat. I plan to do the same with my own kid.

I don't disagree with you. Common sense and courtesy should absolutely apply. But you can't guarantee that there won't be some asshat at your party that lets their kids eat a blue cupcake on your couch. The OP asked if it was OK to correct it...of course it is. But to act totally taken aback that it happened in the first place is silly.

[kaylie]

May 28, 2012 15:15:53 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

May 28, 2012 13:17:32 GMT -5 texassmith said:

I'm not saying it's part of the territory for them to purposefully make a mess. Not sure where you came up with that. I'm saying it is to be expected that there will be messes with kids around. Especially if you provide cupcakes with colored frosting and sprinkles. If you don't want that stuff in the living room, then say so.

Here's the thing though..common sense and courtesy should apply. Grown adults that are parents muchless should know kids shouldn't be having cupcakes on a couch at home, at a friends or anywhere for that matter. They shouldn't have to be told something so simple. IMO that's purposefully making a mess. I have a never ending parade of kids in and out of my house. I'm used to them emptying cupboards at playtime, banging doors closed, screaming, taking the cushions off the sofa for a fort, tripping over legos and on and on. That's normal, harmless, easily picked up kid stuff of life. eating cupcakes and leaving sticky prints on the sofa with a trail of sprinkles is not.

But I guess it's all a matter of opinion and tolerance level at the end of the day. We were only allowed easy clean snacks (popcorn) in the LR and even then it was a treat. I plan to do the same with my own kid.

Thank you for providing my daily dose of literary birth control. Holy crap.

Cupcakes on the couch are NOT okay and I can't believe anyone would think it was - especially for a toddler. Out of curiosity, was the mom around? It seems like anytime I'm out in the world and there are terribly behaved children around they're under paternal supervision. I don't think guys are as attuned to certain things. I usually take the opportunity to point out to H what is unacceptable when caring for children.

[annadala]

May 28, 2012 19:58:07 GMT -5 kaylie said:

May 28, 2012 15:15:53 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

Here's the thing though..common sense and courtesy should apply. Grown adults that are parents muchless should know kids shouldn't be having cupcakes on a couch at home, at a friends or anywhere for that matter. They shouldn't have to be told something so simple. IMO that's purposefully making a mess. I have a never ending parade of kids in and out of my house. I'm used to them emptying cupboards at playtime, banging doors closed, screaming, taking the cushions off the sofa for a fort, tripping over legos and on and on. That's normal, harmless, easily picked up kid stuff of life. eating cupcakes and leaving sticky prints on the sofa with a trail of sprinkles is not.

But I guess it's all a matter of opinion and tolerance level at the end of the day. We were only allowed easy clean snacks (popcorn) in the LR and even then it was a treat. I plan to do the same with my own kid.

Thank you for providing my daily dose of literary birth control. Holy crap.

Cupcakes on the couch are NOT okay and I can't believe anyone would think it was - especially for a toddler. Out of curiosity, was the mom around? It seems like anytime I'm out in the world and there are terribly behaved children around they're under paternal supervision. I don't think guys are as attuned to certain things. I usually take the opportunity to point out to H what is unacceptable when caring for children.

Mom was outside laughing about the frosting the toddler got all over my screen door which is what prompted me to go in in the first place. I thought he had it on his hands and face from eating outside, not that there were cupcakes being carried around and demolished inside.

I might also add that I had to corral the toddler back outside twice because mom and dad let him in alone while they were both outside. My house is not exactly childproof. I mean, things are put away but there are knives, medicines and cleaning supplies that he could access while unsupervised because I don't keep them locked up, just out of sight. We don't and can't have kids so my house has no reason to be 100% childproof.

[thewop]

May 28, 2012 15:15:53 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

May 28, 2012 13:17:32 GMT -5 texassmith said:

I'm not saying it's part of the territory for them to purposefully make a mess. Not sure where you came up with that. I'm saying it is to be expected that there will be messes with kids around. Especially if you provide cupcakes with colored frosting and sprinkles. If you don't want that stuff in the living room, then say so.

Here's the thing though..common sense and courtesy should apply. Grown adults that are parents muchless should know kids shouldn't be having cupcakes on a couch at home, at a friends or anywhere for that matter. They shouldn't have to be told something so simple. IMO that's purposefully making a mess. I have a never ending parade of kids in and out of my house. I'm used to them emptying cupboards at playtime, banging doors closed, screaming, taking the cushions off the sofa for a fort, tripping over legos and on and on. That's normal, harmless, easily picked up kid stuff of life. eating cupcakes and leaving sticky prints on the sofa with a trail of sprinkles is not.

But I guess it's all a matter of opinion and tolerance level at the end of the day. We were only allowed easy clean snacks (popcorn) in the LR and even then it was a treat. I plan to do the same with my own kid.

I agree with dairy and that it should be common sense. It's rude and disrespectful to let your kids run rampid through someone's house and leave such a mess. I won't let my own kid eat on the couch, much less at someone else's house. People and their kids these days.....

[emoflamingo]

I might be biased because I just about bus my own table when we eat chinese food (rice gets EVERYWHERE and I always feel bad), but if everyone else is outside/at the table, the kid is too. Your friends are jerks for thinking their kids are special snowflakes and can eat their blue and red cupcakes wherever precious wants to. Even if it is warm outside and they're getting warm, SURELY you have a kitchen table on a floor that is easy to clean. And even then, you say "hey, my kid is getting hot, do you mind if we step into the kitchen and have a rest at the table while he/she eats this cupcake?"

[DirtyMartini]

It is rude and disrespectful, yet many parents just let their kids do whatever they want. My SIL and BIL are like this...they don't set ANY ground rules. They say, "oh we can't go out to dinner it's too stressful" or "we can't do that/this/whatever because of the boys." Um, your boys are 4 and 7, way old enough to know how to sit at a dinner table in a restaurant, not jump on couches, not eat dripping popsicles in my house, etc. Buuuut, I'm the mean aunt who says, "oh guys we need to eat those outside!" or "hey, we don't jump on the couches in here." The same rules apply for kids, who are almost 1 and 3 (and btw we can take them out to dinner because for the most part they are well behaved at the table).

::end rant:: sorry for post-hijacking.

[sailorgray]

May 28, 2012 19:58:07 GMT -5 kaylie said:

May 28, 2012 15:15:53 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

Here's the thing though..common sense and courtesy should apply. Grown adults that are parents muchless should know kids shouldn't be having cupcakes on a couch at home, at a friends or anywhere for that matter. They shouldn't have to be told something so simple. IMO that's purposefully making a mess. I have a never ending parade of kids in and out of my house. I'm used to them emptying cupboards at playtime, banging doors closed, screaming, taking the cushions off the sofa for a fort, tripping over legos and on and on. That's normal, harmless, easily picked up kid stuff of life. eating cupcakes and leaving sticky prints on the sofa with a trail of sprinkles is not.

But I guess it's all a matter of opinion and tolerance level at the end of the day. We were only allowed easy clean snacks (popcorn) in the LR and even then it was a treat. I plan to do the same with my own kid.

Thank you for providing my daily dose of literary birth control. Holy crap.

Cupcakes on the couch are NOT okay and I can't believe anyone would think it was - especially for a toddler. Out of curiosity, was the mom around? It seems like anytime I'm out in the world and there are terribly behaved children around they're under paternal supervision. I don't think guys are as attuned to certain things. I usually take the opportunity to point out to H what is unacceptable when caring for children.

Aint that the truth! We were camping last summer and there was this group of kids who were totally out of control. They took over the place and were soooo obnoxious. We soon noticed that there was not a single mother there. It was about 6 men and 15 kids. The men sat at their site drinking beer and talking while the kids ran wild.

OP, I think most parents are considerate when at others homes. Just say something next time. It's not a big deal. These parents seem a bit inconsiderate, so who cares if you offend them. They've offended you.

[Rainy Night in Soho]

May 28, 2012 20:56:24 GMT -5 annadala said:

May 28, 2012 19:58:07 GMT -5 kaylie said:

Thank you for providing my daily dose of literary birth control. Holy crap.

Cupcakes on the couch are NOT okay and I can't believe anyone would think it was - especially for a toddler. Out of curiosity, was the mom around? It seems like anytime I'm out in the world and there are terribly behaved children around they're under paternal supervision. I don't think guys are as attuned to certain things. I usually take the opportunity to point out to H what is unacceptable when caring for children.

Mom was outside laughing about the frosting the toddler got all over my screen door which is what prompted me to go in in the first place. I thought he had it on his hands and face from eating outside, not that there were cupcakes being carried around and demolished inside.

I might also add that I had to corral the toddler back outside twice because mom and dad let him in alone while they were both outside. My house is not exactly childproof. I mean, things are put away but there are knives, medicines and cleaning supplies that he could access while unsupervised because I don't keep them locked up, just out of sight. We don't and can't have kids so my house has no reason to be 100% childproof.

Woah!

And the mom didn't say "where are cleaning supplies so I can clean up after my kid?"

[annadala]

May 29, 2012 12:18:39 GMT -5 Rainy Night in Soho said:

May 28, 2012 20:56:24 GMT -5 annadala said:

Mom was outside laughing about the frosting the toddler got all over my screen door which is what prompted me to go in in the first place. I thought he had it on his hands and face from eating outside, not that there were cupcakes being carried around and demolished inside.

I might also add that I had to corral the toddler back outside twice because mom and dad let him in alone while they were both outside. My house is not exactly childproof. I mean, things are put away but there are knives, medicines and cleaning supplies that he could access while unsupervised because I don't keep them locked up, just out of sight. We don't and can't have kids so my house has no reason to be 100% childproof.

Woah!

And the mom didn't say "where are cleaning supplies so I can clean up after my kid?"

Nope! And DH had to scrub the frosting out of the couch and I will never get the red out of my light gray carpet.

Im going to have to give them ground rules for next time, apparently.

[TBM]

May 29, 2012 16:49:06 GMT -5 annadala said:

And DH had to scrub the frosting out of the couch and I will never get the red out of my light gray carpet.

I saw a product on QVC that should take the red out. I will try to track it down for you. If I had carpet, I would have bought it already....it impressed me that much.


Parents who allow their children to run amok or worse, parents who seem to encourage rude behavior by not correcting their children drive me crazy. I would have shooed them outside for sure.