do you still see her? if so, i'm perplexed. half of what you summarized is sufficient for a lifetime cutoff, imo.
Not really. I never talk to her and my h doesn't want much to do with her. It's a complicated situation because my fil is amazing. Hes my H's idol. Plus, my h has a 13 year old sister who he adores. To cut out my mil completely would mean he can't see his little sister or his dad. It's a shitty situation and I only see her when I reaaaaly have to. Mostly just holidays, even though we only live 30 minutes away from each other.
Post by fuckyourcouch on Dec 23, 2012 0:02:48 GMT -5
GOAB, my h is in a similar situation with a little brother he adores. It's been the hardest part for him by far. His dad he could write off similar to que's argument above. His brother is turning 18 soon and after 6 years he's finally able to try to have that relationship again. It's hard to watch. I'm sorry for your h.
Here's the thing. My MIL had a crap MIL. And she pretty much decided to be the best MIL she could be. She tells me she loves me, never gets in my business or offers advice when I don't ask. Once, when H was being a turd? She TOOK MY SIDE. IN FRONT OF HIM. I will be the best MIL ever, because I have had the best example. She is the best because she had a terrible example.
My MIL and I had a super rough start. I'm not 100% okay with her but she is trying now.
She did tell me 20 days after we got married that I have no business discussing any family matters because I am not family. Also that I am to not speak to my FIL. (They are divorced, have been for almost 20 years).
I'm sad that the worst (and pretty much only bad) thing I can say about my MIL is that she loves kitchen stuff and we have to plan our vacations and daytrips around kitchen supply stores. Even my former MIL invited me to my former FIL's funeral. I've been lucky. You guys have some pretty spectacular stories of MILs from Hells.
I don't know that I could marry a man with a lunatic family. Is that flameful?
I'm sorry to all of you. Jesus.
I love my H, but his family does complicate things. Both his parents are nice, though fairly racist. H is an only child, and family is important to him, so we see his family with some frequency. I've gotten used to the crazy, for the most part. Here's some examples of the crazy: 1. At wedding rehearsal, she sang "here comes the bride" and walked down the aisle with my fake bouquet. 2. She makes fun of fat people, and is the most obese person I've ever seen. She talks about how gross other large people look. I don't get it. 3. She decided to throw a wedding shower at my house for 50 people 4 weeks before the wedding for the weekend before the wedding. 4. Told H that we killed our dog we had to put down last week because we have wooden floors, instead of carpet. 5. Routinely tells H it isn't fair that we try to split time evenly between the two families, bc my parents have other kids, and they only have H. 6. She lives in a two bedroom house and is an animal hoarder. She had an alligator. In Pennsylvania. And didn't see anything wrong with keeping in the house.
whose MIL was it; the DIL was allergic to something (like outrageously allergic) and the MIL put that in some food she served her because she didn't' believe she was really allergic?
Post by juliagoulia on Dec 23, 2012 7:57:30 GMT -5
My MIL and her H are really really nice.
My FIL and his wife..... Ah. His wife went postal on me because I told her H and I wanted to throw him a surprise 50th birthday. She had made plans to go out of town (WITHOUT HIM!) and she freaked that we couldn't have a party for him- basically because it would make her look dumb.
She then told FIL about our surprise party plans. H was really upset :-(
She has pretty much always been a jerk. She acts fake-nice to everyone's face but is a huge, bitchy gossip behind everyone's back. She's not particularly awful like some of the MILs in here.... Just trashy and bitchy.
My BIL is a heart recipient. He is my SIL's DH. SIL is MIL's daughter.
BIL got sicker and sicker leading up to his transplant, he was in jeopardy of losing his spot on the waiting list. MIL lived 5 miles from their house and 20 minutes from the hospital. For the three months he was on the waiting list, she never went to see him once, never stayed with her grand kids so SIL could go to appointments, etc. she always said she was too busy. (She's a retired teacher). She FINALLY showed up at the hospital about 3 months into the ordeal. She stayed about 5 minutes. Just long enough to stand over BIL's bedside and loudly declared to her daughter, "if he's going to die, I wish he would just stop prolonging this. This has been really tough to deal with."
BIL got a heart about a week later and has made a great recovery. He is the soccer coach for my 6 yo niece's team. MIL just told me how pissed she is that BIL has not called to invite her to come watch a game. I guess if you wish death on someone, they won't be so keen to offer social invitations later on.
MIL broke both her legs in a car accident two months ago. She was in a skilled nursing center until 2 days ago. She has been such a hateful bitch to the staff, there is pretty much only one nurse who will care for her. She has reduced the rest to tears on pretty much a daily basis. The nurse read her file to me a couple days ago and it was astounding how vile MIL could be to those trying to help her. MIL was sent back to the hospital because her leg is infected and she needs iv antibiotics. After 18 hours there, the doctor on call ordered a head MRI. The screaming, yelling, cursing, lack of inhibition/filter on her mouth made the doctor think surely she had had a stroke. The results came back normal. DH laughed and said he didn't need an MRI to tell him his mother is crazy and mean.
-deliberately dressed to look like me at the wedding -tried to forbid the wedding -has told H and her whole family that I'm abusing H - often tells me that she loves me, but it's a shame I will never be a good person - throws hissy fits that we won't let her dictate where we live, what jobs we have, etc.
Post by mirandahobbes on Dec 23, 2012 11:01:26 GMT -5
Definitely won't win the contest, but am a qualified contestant.
-She almost did not come to her only child's wedding because her dogs couldn't come. -She jumped up in the middle of our ceremony, screaming crying and ran into the bathroom. -She behaves like a child. She is extremely dependent on MH. We took her out one weekend and she wanted to go to a store way out of the way. DH and I had plans. She literally did not talk to us over lunch. Sat at the table and pouted. -She has no social skills. One time, we were at a restaurant and MH and I were talking to the waitress about her dog. She literally interrupted the waitress mid-sentence with her order. I wanted to die. If food was taking too long, she would loudly say "where's our food?"
I know there's more, this is just off the top of my head.
Post by BieberMyBalls on Dec 23, 2012 12:30:12 GMT -5
My MIL and FIL sexually abused my H until he was old enough to get the hell out of there. They are not allowed anywhere near us, or our children. I hate them with a firey passion.
--When we got engaged we told MIL and she burst into tears saying " why so soon!!" We had been dating for 3 years by that point and we were 30 year old adults!! :@
--My Dad was in the hospital dying from sepsis(he had organ failure) and she pulled me to the side and told me " Your obligation is to MY SON not your father--its time for you to go home" :@
--good thing is my Dad survived the sepsis infection and is alive and well..He is 70 years old and still working! Yay! He is a tough dude!!