Overwhelmed - how to entertain 2 at once?

[Deleted]

DS turned 3 in Sept and DD is 10.5 months. The older DD gets the more overwhelmed I am w being home alone w them all day. DS is kind of high maintenance so I feel like DD gets put on the back burner a lot. Ideally I'd like DS to play fairly independently while DD is awake since she still takes 2 naps but I'm having a hard time. If we play together he fights w her a lot because she "ruins" everything. My sanity can only handle so much fighting.

He does go to preschool 6 hours a week which is nice but we are still tied to her nap schedule.

How do I fit in more DD centered activities?

[dcrunnergirl]

Any possibility you can send DS to preschool a few more hours/week? Not to get rid of him but so that he's in activities more centered on him?

Can you take them to play areas, children's museums, play dates, etc. where DS can run around and you can just hold/watch DD?

I haven't had to deal with this situation but it seems like the activities really need to be more focused on your DS b/c he requires more stimulation/activity (like all toddlers/preschoolers) while I bet your DD is happy doing almost anything where she can see new places, crawl or toddle around a bit, and play with a few toys.

[Deleted]

Dec 26, 2012 13:13:50 GMT -5 dcrunnergirl said:

Any possibility you can send DS to preschool a few more hours/week? Not to get rid of him but so that he's in activities more centered on him?

Can you take them to play areas, children's museums, play dates, etc. where DS can run around and you can just hold/watch DD?

I haven't had to deal with this situation but it seems like the activities really need to be more focused on your DS b/c he requires more stimulation/activity (like all toddlers/preschoolers) while I bet your DD is happy doing almost anything where she can see new places, crawl or toddle around a bit, and play with a few toys.

Maybe my thinking is backwards. I'm sitting here wondering how DD will ever learn her animal sounds if I focus on DS too much. Finding things to do w him is not a problem but then I worry DD isn't getting enough interaction if she's a spectator.

[dcrunnergirl]

Dec 26, 2012 13:18:34 GMT -5 @jennylove said:

Dec 26, 2012 13:13:50 GMT -5 dcrunnergirl said:

Any possibility you can send DS to preschool a few more hours/week? Not to get rid of him but so that he's in activities more centered on him?

Can you take them to play areas, children's museums, play dates, etc. where DS can run around and you can just hold/watch DD?

I haven't had to deal with this situation but it seems like the activities really need to be more focused on your DS b/c he requires more stimulation/activity (like all toddlers/preschoolers) while I bet your DD is happy doing almost anything where she can see new places, crawl or toddle around a bit, and play with a few toys.

Maybe my thinking is backwards. I'm sitting here wondering how DD will ever learn her animal sounds if I focus on DS too much. Finding things to do w him is not a problem but then I worry DD isn't getting enough interaction if she's a spectator.

If she's interacting with DS, that's probably enough. Have DS do the animal sounds with her! Make him your little helper with her and empower him to show her how smart he is and teach his little sister everything he knows. Maybe if he feels empowered and like he's a great big brother, he'll be more patient with her (I have no idea if this will work, just throwing out some ideas).

[Willis Jackson]

DD just tags along on outings geared toward DS. Since she's become mobile, she's getting more interested in playgrounds and playspaces.

It's honestly never occurred to me that I need to gear stuff toward her because she's participating as DS and I talk about animal sounds, letters, counting, etc, all day. I think she's much more stimulated than DS was at her age.

[Deleted]

great idea - i will have him help me w body parts and animal noises.

Dec 26, 2012 13:24:42 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

DD just tags along on outings geared toward DS. Since she's become mobile, she's getting more interested in playgrounds and playspaces.

It's honestly never occurred to me that I need to gear stuff toward her because she's participating as DS and I talk about animal sounds, letters, counting, etc, all day. I think she's much more stimulated than DS was at her age.

If its not too much work would you mind giving me some examples of things you do? I admittedly don't do much w him since they do it at preschool and I know I need to.

I know I pretty much need to talk all day and I'm running out of things to talk about.

[Deleted]

Oh! Hopefully someone can help me w this. He is going through a phase where he wants me to do everything because "it's too hard!". I've been doing it so he can watch or if its like play doh we can do it at the same time, but he still cops out. Just keep at it? Another solution?

[whitepicketfence]

Dec 26, 2012 13:24:42 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

DD just tags along on outings geared toward DS. Since she's become mobile, she's getting more interested in playgrounds and playspaces.

It's honestly never occurred to me that I need to gear stuff toward her because she's participating as DS and I talk about animal sounds, letters, counting, etc, all day. I think she's much more stimulated than DS was at her age.

I agree with this.

I always just schlepped DD2 along with us to all of DD1's activities. When she was younger, she really was just a spectator. She really did learn through watching and listening, however. As she's grown, she's tried to copy everything DD1 did and said. Now that she's a bit older, she's starting to participate more and the kids are finally starting to play together more. Mine are really close in age so they have similar interests in terms of activities and toys. They still fight all.the.time, but it's getting a lot easier to include them both.

[SusanBAnthony]

For the first year of her life, dd was pretty much just a precious and expensive handbag that I took everywhere DS and I went. We didn't do anything special for her. She just came along for the ride.

In terms of what that looked like, if he was paying puzzles, and I was sitting on the floor with him, I would give dd a puzzle to play with/bang/chew, and if she happened to be holding a dog puzzle piece, I would say dog, roof roof, etc.

DS definitely would get frustrated that she got into his stuff, so I tried to divide whatever DS was paying with, wooden train for example, into a I pile for him to build, and a small pile for her to play with, and I sat in the middle of them so she didn't get in his hair. Or, we did stuff at the table, and dd could either crawl around on the floor, or sit in her chair, where she was n the same level and could see what DS was up to, but couldn't reach what he was doing and mess it up.

[pugz]

off topic kind of, but did your son get to see the doctor/psych last week? I know you had an appt.

[Willis Jackson]

Dec 26, 2012 13:30:09 GMT -5 @jennylove said:

great idea - i will have him help me w body parts and animal noises.

Dec 26, 2012 13:24:42 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

DD just tags along on outings geared toward DS. Since she's become mobile, she's getting more interested in playgrounds and playspaces.

It's honestly never occurred to me that I need to gear stuff toward her because she's participating as DS and I talk about animal sounds, letters, counting, etc, all day. I think she's much more stimulated than DS was at her age.

If its not too much work would you mind giving me some examples of things you do? I admittedly don't do much w him since they do it at preschool and I know I need to.

I know I pretty much need to talk all day and I'm running out of things to talk about.

We go to storytime for 3-5yo which DD also enjoys. We go to playgrounds and indoor playspaces, the zoo, the library, and DS's dance class (DD imitates from the sidelines). DS goes to preschool 2 mornings a week and DD and I use that time to just chill and do housework w/o DS's "help".

At home, one of our favorite things to do is work on this sticker book.

I'll have DS pick out a sticker for DD to hold while he and I go through and put them in the correct place. She'll randomly put her sticker down and pick it up, over and over again. Of course she's listening as DS and I discuss where the apple should go, or the zebra, or whatever.

We also read together a lot, and play trucks. Again, I have DS pick out which truck he wants to give DD so he has some control over it. Both kids love to dance. We play with mega bloks- DS and I make more complicated things and DD makes towers with the single blocks. Before she could put them together, she was in charge of disassembly, lol. She also loves to put things in containers so we all clean up together. She and DS have been rolling balls back and forth for awhile.

[Deleted]

Dec 26, 2012 13:41:30 GMT -5 pugz said:

off topic kind of, but did your son get to see the doctor/psych last week? I know you had an appt.

I'm hoping to have an update in January. Long story short - the kid has been an angel since "the incident". An SLP that evaluated him during class thinks he's autistic (what?!?) so we are focusing on that right now. Longest month of my life.

[Deleted]

Thanks Willasaurus. That will make this winter go fast. We did some ball rolling this morning. At least DS is semi interested in her - he enjoys the attention

[hocus]

My kids are 3 and 17 months. When I have the kids to myself (which is fairly rare as a working mom) I usually try to do things that mean they're mostly on their own. We go to the park whenever it is nice. I bring chalk or bubbles for the older one which tends to slow her down and I am close to my older kid in case he falls. At 10 months I'd still wear him at the park for the most part.

If we're home I might set up my older child with her "crafts" like crayons or kid safe scissors. She loves loves loves to cut things up. I save junk mail for her. I can be on the floor with my other kid while he's doing his thing. Sometimes we all play together, though that is more rare. A big play kitchen can work out as a joint toy along with boxes of things like mega blocks or duplos.

We also read together a fair amount. Both kids like books so it works for us.