Did anyone switch lawyers during the divorce?

[Bernadine]

I think I might need to see someone else, at least for a second opinion. I have no idea how the legal stuff works. I've already filed, xh has filed his response.

[jojoandleo]

Yes, you can. Before you do so, make sure you shop around to find what you really want in a lawyer. Want someone that will go for the jugular or be willing to compromise? Do some research and get some referrals.

[Bernadine]

I don't even know what I want. I feel like I'm going to be completely screwed.

[Bernadine]

Yes, I just talked to him. I understand the timeline, next steps. And I'm honestly not sure another lawyer would be able to do anything more. It sounds like I'll get nothing in return for paying the mortgage for the last year, and that I'll be stuck paying it until it sells, or goes to auction. Which could be another year. At least.

[jojoandleo]

Dec 27, 2012 10:55:54 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

I don't even know what I want. I feel like I'm going to be completely screwed.

Maybe you need to figure out what you want and then go from there? I echo MCC-talk to your attorney about your wants and needs. Personally-I think you should be asking for $$ from what YOU have paid into the house during separation while he was living there, damages he has caused to the house, and any other financial wrong-doings from him.

Sit down, make a list of your wants and get to talking! Don't get screwed because you were afraid to speak up. If your current attorney cannot fulfill them, look for one that can!

[jojoandleo]

Dec 27, 2012 11:02:52 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Yes, I just talked to him. I understand the timeline, next steps. And I'm honestly not sure another lawyer would be able to do anything more. It sounds like I'll get nothing in return for paying the mortgage for the last year, and that I'll be stuck paying it until it sells, or goes to auction. Which could be another year. At least.

Ugh. I don't know your state laws, but that sucks. I guess since techinically you all are still married, it is still joint property/money, but I can't imagine your atorney not at least asking for it, if it is what you want? I don't know. Here, they frown on financially screwing your spouse. Like, emptying the bank account means they will award more to the other person since the emptier already HAS that money.

[Bernadine]

I can ask for contribution, but my lawyer said it's almost never awarded.

He has no money. He blows it all on weed, alcohol, and football and baseball games.

[jojoandleo]

Dec 27, 2012 11:11:52 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

I can ask for contribution, but my lawyer said it's almost never awarded.

He has no money. He blows it all on weed, alcohol, and football and baseball games.

Can you ask to get more $$ on the sale of the house when it is sold to reimburse you for contributions you made while separated? Like a 60/40 split rather than 50/50?

[jojoandleo]

Dec 27, 2012 11:13:35 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Dec 27, 2012 11:11:52 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

I can ask for contribution, but my lawyer said it's almost never awarded.

He has no money. He blows it all on weed, alcohol, and football and baseball games.

Does he have a job? Did he need to take a drug test for it?

I vote to play dirty at this point. I got my way by having leverage based on his social habits...

Uh huh, I saw on ML he is asking for Alimony too. What an asshat. Maybe you ask for drug testing and see how fast he drops that?

I STILL can't believe he moved other people in. Maybe call in a tip saying there are drugs in the house, in his car, on his person? Put his ass in jail and take back the damn house!

[Bernadine]

I don't think we'll get anything out of the house. We'd be lucky to break even.

[Bernadine]

So, I make an appointment and say that I'm looking for a second opinion?

[starburst604]

Maybe you do need a more aggressive lawyer. I haven't been through a divorce, but it is beyond my understanding how he gets to stay in the house, trash it, and have tenants while you pay for it!!!

[jojoandleo]

Dec 27, 2012 11:25:34 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

So, I make an appointment and say that I'm looking for a second opinion?

I'd ask for a consult, many have free or cheap consults and you can ask all these questions and decide if you want to switch. I would hunt around for a good referral first, not just google and point to a random, LOL.

[Bernadine]

MCC, that would be great. I don't know anyone that's been divorced recently.

[Bernadine]

Thank you so much!

[rikkiandjulie]

Can you ask for money back as alimony and then put that towards the mortgage? This way you aren't asking for money directly to the mortgage but you could use the alimony for it. Just curious, if that is an option


Rikki-iPhone

[starryfish]

Not a lawyer...but if he's asking for alimony, why can't you ask for the mortgage money back? Maybe he will drop the alimony if you drop the mortgage $. Always go in for more than you expect since you most likely have to compromise

[phyllisnefler]

Dec 27, 2012 20:26:07 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Not a lawyer...but if he's asking for alimony, why can't you ask for the mortgage money back? Maybe he will drop the alimony if you drop the mortgage $. Always go in for more than you expect since you most likely have to compromise

This is what I was going to say. Ask for EVERYTHING that you want unless your attorney has a really good reason why you shouldn't. You can't get what you don't ask for, so ask for it all.

My xh also filed a response and requested alimony just to be difficult. I was really damn freaked out until the day of the hearing when the judge actually laughed at his request. It wasn't a full on guffaw, but he smirked and said "On what grounds do you feel you should be awarded spousal support? You are college educated, gainfully employed and you have no children..." Ex responded "we'll, she makes more than I do and we have established a certain financial lifestyle that I will not be able to maintain." The judge chuckled and said "then I suggest you find a different lifestyle based on your own finances. Spousal support is denied."

The fact that even the judge thought it was ridiculous and called him out on it made me feel kinda warm and fuzzy on the inside. I'm going to hang onto hope that your judge does something similar.