Getting Started?

[spiderspray]

I see this board isn't exactly hopping, so I'll likely repost on my home board, but just to throw it out there in case anyone is on today...

Dh and I have one son and are hoping to add to our family around ds turning 3 or so. I'm in the very, very beginning stages of this process, so any tips you have would be wonderful.

We know we want to pursue domestic newborn adoption, and are starting to look into agencies in our area.

What should I be looking for in an agency? What are some of your best pieces of advice for newbs? From what little research I've done, I know enough to know it's overwhelming right now.

[drloretta]

Not sure what kind of tips you're looking for, but we're happy to help with specific questions, etc.

Adoption for Dummies has a list of more "technical" questions regarding agencies. Things like their licensing procedures, when was the last time they were licensed, etc. Other questions you may want to ask:

-What are their fee schedules like? The more transparent the better
-Once you sign a contract, is it good for the life of the process or do you have to renew on a certain timeline? Some people aren't comfortable with renewable contracts
-If it's important to you, what's their philosophy on who can be in the program (eg, singles, gays/lesbians, etc.)? And do they have a different fee schedule for minority kids?
-How many waiting families vs how many placements in the last year? The closer to 1:1, the better
-What kind of counseling is provided, and for how long?
-What happens if the adoption falls through, before or after match? Money-wise, and where you go on the waiting list, for example

My best piece of advice is, once you start, make copies of EVERYTHING. You never know what will get lost/misplaced. And take your time. We thought about which agency to go with for a long time, esp because DH is a planner. Keep an open mind to non-agency avenues, including consultants or facilitators (if legal in your state), law firms, independent adoption, etc. Check to see if you or your DH's company have an adoption reimbursement program, and/or propose one to your HR dept.

That's all I got for now

[spiderspray]

Thank you Dr L!

We're roughly in the Dallas area, so the Gladney agency is one we're looking into right now, but I hadn't a clue as to what I'm supposed to be asking them, so that list helped quite a bit.

The ratio of waiting families vs placements helps as well since I have no idea what's normal and whether or not my expectations are too high.

If I think of anything else, I'll be sure to come back and harass you

[gnomesweetgnome]

Spiderspray - I'm in the Dallas area as well. We're going with Catholic Charities (haven't really started the process yet, but we did go to their info session and have our paperwork that we're slowly filling out), so if you have any questions about that, let me know!

[spiderspray]

Thank you Gnomes for the reply!

One thing I have run into thus far with Gladney is that we basically have to "apply" in order to attend an info session.

Normal? There is also a $50 fee, and the application (again, just to get into an info session) includes questions like height, weight, etc.

I know the process as a whole will be very intrusive, but I wasn't expecting this before we'd ever walked in the front door!

[drloretta]

Not normal for our agency (they had free webinars and in-person seminars), but it may be normal for Gladney.

[gnomesweetgnome]

Not normal for CC, but each agency does things differently. We don't have to pay any money until we put in our initial application. The info session was free, and they are very receptive to emails/phone calls with additional questions.