Got a call..but

[bazealina]

We recieved a call yesterday at 4:00pm. My heart jumped with such excitement. However, in the end we turned it down. She is apparently a beautiful baby girl 5lbs 13ounces.
Her BM has LONG history of addiction to herion and methadone. Baby was born with evidence of both. BF had a long history of addiction. Also both extended families have addiction issues..plus other issues..(my brother is a pediatrician so he advised us in an unbiased manner about the long term effects.
We are crushed to say the least. We prayed about it but had serious concerns that we were not the best ones to parent this precious angel. For those who have turned down a situation, does the what if's ever go away? We are both second guessing ourseves. What an emotional roller coaster.

[drloretta]

Yes, they will go away. We had a situation presented to us and were asked if we wanted our profile shown. BM had a genetic condition that her child had a strong chance of inheriting, with a strong chance of medical complications we didn't think we could handle. We felt *horrible* for saying no, but our SW assured us that it was better to turn it down than feel stuck in a situation we couldn't handle.

We were matched with DD the following week.

[Deleted]

Jun 12, 2012 19:15:51 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

Once you have a child, the child that was meant for you, all past what if's go away. It did with us anyway.

I totally agree with this, and have friends who had failed matches and others who parented for a while before their placement failed who say the exact same thing. Once your child is with you, you will realize that I was simply meant to be.

We never turned down a match, but there were situations that we chose to not be considered for, for various reasons. It was always hard to say no.

[summergirl79]

it gets easier, we second guessed a bunch of decisions we made during the process and if we should be presented but I agree I don't even remember much of the angst anymore since now we have our amazing son who we felt was meant to be ours! HUGS!