question, just moved over from TB

[kaseykins]

I really don't want to seem rude or ignorant about adoption but I read the FAQ's and didn't see the answer there.
When you are considering adopting an older child can you just look through the "waiting list kids" and essentially pick one? I know they try and place the child in the right home and not the other way around but if the description sounds like it would mesh well would they consider letting us meet with the child? (we only want to adopt one child unless they have a sibling) I guess I just don't know how it works since there are so many waiting children out there that aren't babies.

[drloretta]

It's not as simple as calling and saying "I want the 3rd kid on page 3", but yes, if you go that route looking at waiting children (and have done your homestudy and backgrounds checks, etc.) you can potentially do it that way, depending on how that particular agency does things.

Best bet is to research that method of adoption, see if it's right for you, and find out details on how parents and children are matched.

[Captain Serious]

Domestically, yes, you can ask for more information about a waiting child and, if after reviewing what is shared you are still interested in persuing a relationship with the child, they will evalute if it is a possible match. If so, you will begin with supervised visits and go from there.

It would probably be helpful to you to learn some of the key phrases used in photolistings to signal certain issues. For example, "must be the younest child in the family" or "would thrive in an only child household" usually means that the child has experienced abuse and/or is at risk for acting out abusive behavior on a younger child. Being familiar with these phrases will help you get a better feeling for what children may be a better fit for your family before you get all the details.