let's get this board rolling

[StormyDixon]

those of you who have followed me on the bump, know that my husbands ex wife is just horrible. I know, I know everyone says that about their dh's ex, so I'll let you decide for yourselves.
Top 10 reasons why my husbands ex wife is the devil
1. she beat her children and a judge took them away so now she only sees them about 6 days a month
2. we have two 3 inch ring binders filled with nothing but harrassing emails & printed text messages from a period of 10 months
3. in court she admitted to hitting her kids with metal cooking utensils to "get their attention"
4. she won't pay child support and has already been sent to jail once 6 months ago and is once again behind (after her mother bailed her out)
5. she has been evicted from 3 houses and now lives with her mother. she sleeps in a big king sized bed and make the kids sleep on the floor during her visitation
6. she was court ordered to take anger management & parenting classes after she drove in an erratic manner while one of the kids was hanging onto the outside of her car, admittedly in an attempt to knock him off and "hurt him" as testified by the oldest.
7. she screams at the 8 year old boy for taking his medication for adhd to the point where he cries
8. she screams at my husband in front of the children and my neighbors over said medication
9. she tells her daughter on a regular basis that she is fat and has greasy hair
10. she showed up at their school and proceeded to scream at the attendance clerk, vice principal & principal to the point where they called the police, because she wanted to get the kids after she had been served with a protective order to stay away from them.

I could go on and on, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

[StormyDixon]

and somehow after tens of thousands of dollars spent, guardian ad litems, DFACS, average of 4 court appearances a year, she still manages to have unsupervised visitation...sigh

[StormyDixon]

May 14, 2012 13:14:14 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

It is not healthy for you to be dwelling on her. You and your husband cannot and should not be controlling her. I would focus on what you guys can do to improve the situation for the kids and it looks like you have been doing that. But it is very self destructive to write and/or think about how "horrible" of a person she is. Not good for you. Not good for your hubby. And not good for the kids.

the kids don't see it, and I don't dwell, this is just the history. like I said, it was to get the board rolling, nothing more, nothing less.

[StormyDixon]

May 14, 2012 13:14:14 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

It is not healthy for you to be dwelling on her. d should not be controlling her.

how do you figure we are controlling her?

[StormyDixon]

May 14, 2012 13:28:06 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

I hope you didn't take it in the wrong way. I didn't say you were controller her. I simply said you should not control her, if that is your intentions. Many stepparents work so hard to change the way bio parents do things (to improve the lives of the kids), but it's counterproductive.

I'm just saying it's hard enough to be stepparents and deal with all the issues that face us. The job is 1000 times easier if you can get the ex out of your mind and focus on what is really important.

well if you mean by control her that we expect her to pay her child support and not hurt the children, then I guess we are guilty. you say I dwell on her, but you have no idea how we worry when the children are with her on her time. it isn't dwelling, it is loving children who IMO deserve better than the hand they have been dealt

[StormyDixon]

May 14, 2012 13:41:22 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

I personally would have written something to the effect of "road blocks that are interfering with the children's well being", to correctly convey what you are describing.

sigh, OK

[Deleted]

jimboo is talking out of her ass. How is that for getting the ball rolling?

[CurlyQ284]

May 14, 2012 13:41:22 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

I personally would have written something to the effect of "road blocks that are interfering with the children's well being", to correctly convey what you are describing.

LMAO what the hell is going on? Where are we? A therapists office or something? OP, your DHs ex sounds pretty shitty and it sucks that she still has visitation. I will validate your feelings.

[StormyDixon]

May 14, 2012 14:38:20 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

jimboo is talking out of her ass. How is that for getting the ball rolling?

love it

[StormyDixon]

May 14, 2012 14:51:22 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

May 14, 2012 13:41:22 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

I personally would have written something to the effect of "road blocks that are interfering with the children's well being", to correctly convey what you are describing.

LMAO what the hell is going on? Where are we? A therapists office or something? OP, your DHs ex sounds pretty shitty and it sucks that she still has visitation. I will validate your feelings.

seriously, not once did I ask for advice or what "jimbooo" would do. thanks for the validation curlyq284

[stephbfan]

May 14, 2012 13:28:06 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

I hope you didn't take it in the wrong way. I didn't say you were controller her. I simply said you should not control her, if that is your intentions. Many stepparents work so hard to change the way bio parents do things (to improve the lives of the kids), but it's counterproductive.

I'm just saying it's hard enough to be stepparents and deal with all the issues that face us. The job is 1000 times easier if you can get the ex out of your mind and focus on what is really important.

You've got to be kidding!
The BM in this case is BSC and you tell the poster not to focus on what she is doing wrong?! I would love to see you coming to this board and vent about anything.

[CurlyQ284]

I think Team maybe came here to blow off some steam in a place where SKids wont be affected by it. Its not healthy to bottle it all up either. This is where people have a safe place to vent.

[StormyDixon]

May 14, 2012 15:25:54 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

Wow. You all are going too far IMO. I am trying to give advice to help her not be so angry. Being that angry can interfere with focusing on what is really important, the children. I have been there, done that. I have been in all of your shoes before. And honestly it's quiet miserable. It took me a long time to see that.

It's also important to remember that the bio parent is the one our husband's chose to have a child with. It's also the parent of our stepchildren. Bashing isn't going to help anyone.

Who says I am angry? I have four great kids thanks to her piss poor parenting, I am quite happy actually. And my focus has always been on the children, you bitch.

[StormyDixon]

May 14, 2012 15:11:42 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

May 14, 2012 13:28:06 GMT -5 @jimbooo said:

I hope you didn't take it in the wrong way. I didn't say you were controller her. I simply said you should not control her, if that is your intentions. Many stepparents work so hard to change the way bio parents do things (to improve the lives of the kids), but it's counterproductive.

I'm just saying it's hard enough to be stepparents and deal with all the issues that face us. The job is 1000 times easier if you can get the ex out of your mind and focus on what is really important.

You've got to be kidding!
The BM in this case is BSC and you tell the poster not to focus on what she is doing wrong?! I would love to see you coming to this board and vent about anything.

she did come and vent, rip her to shreds while I sit back and laugh lol

[StormyDixon]

May 14, 2012 16:20:08 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

I think Team maybe came here to blow off some steam in a place where SKids wont be affected by it. Its not healthy to bottle it all up either. This is where people have a safe place to vent.

This exactly, cause my focus IS on the kids

[wendilea]

Damn it. I missed the memo where I was supposed to sit around and sing kum buy ya!

OP - I'm sorry that you're dealing with BSC BM. Vent away -it's cheaper than therapy and so healthy to get things off your chest.