XP: tears-free toddler weaning?

[papie]

I am getting ready to wean DD2, as she is almost 21 months. I weaned DD1 at that age, but she was much more calm and reasonable, lol. I told her there was no more milk, and she said "ok, water?" and that was it.

DD2 is being a major drama queen and is throwing tantrums every time I refuse to nurse (mainly before dinner or mid-morning on weekends). We are down to mornings only, but it only works if DH is there at bedtime. If I am putting her down, she will cry and refuse to go to bed without nursing.

In the morning, the first thing she does is throw her soother in her crib and ask to nurse.

I thought I would be happy to nurse until 2+ this time, but now that I'm getting closer I am ready to be done. I'm going OOT for 3 days to Toronto next week, so maybe that would do the trick? But if not, I may cry...

Advice?

[Deleted]

You're ready. She's not. It's up to you how you want to deal with that, but she's saying loud and clear that she's not happy with weaning. There isn't a magic way to make a toddler grow up faster, I'm afraid. The usual gentle method is "don't offer, don't refuse".

[camelblossom]

I have hugs, but no advice. I tried it a couple months ago and it was ugly. DD is 26 months and is still nursing once a day. I feel all feelings about it.

[blindyswife]

When L was down to one session a day, at 15 months, I was ready to wean. His one session was before his nap. I had no idea how I was going to peacefully cut that feeding.

Then, he got super sick for three days. Ear infection + teething. It hurt him to eat anything, and to nurse. He would latch on and immediately stop and cry. He would still ask to nurse, but each time was unsucessful. It was heartbreaking.

So on the fourth day, when he felt better, he never asked to nurse. (After three days, he forgot I guess?) Over the course of the next couple days, he would ask really sporatically, and I would try to distract him. After about one week, he quit asking and we haven't looked back.

Point of my horrible story telling: Maybe the three days away is just the thing you need!

[jena]

She's not ready. It's possible to wean her now, but it won't be tear free.

I went OOT for 4 days when DS was 22mo. I did not pump. When I got back he nursed like a demon and got my supply back. I was so hoping he'd be done, but he just wasn't.

He weaned tear-free at 29mo. He asked to BF, I said "no thank you" and he was fine with that. It was so easy it was weird.

The only trick I know... tell her that she can nurse while you sing a song, but when the song is over, nursing time is over. Pick a song that you can make as short or as long as you want (old macdonald, or just twinkle twinkle repeated). Nurse until you can't stand it anymore and then end the song. It did help us shorten the nursing session when I was ready for it to be over, especially at nap and bedtime.

Mid-morning nursing - can you offer to take her to the park or blow bubbles in the backyard? Something fun, distracting, and in a totally different location might help.

[welshgirl]

I agree - she's not ready, for whatever reason. And if you do (which is fair enough) it iwll likely involve tears, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I decided to try cutting back on feeds (we were still feeding on demand at 16 months, and that was 6+ times a day - it was too hard to maintain. I waited til family was visiting, so we had a good distraction, and tried doing all sorts of distractions - even offering cookies. It was a rough week. She was angry more than anything. But after about 5 days, she accepted when I said 'no more, you drank it all'. I'm down to 1-2 feeds a day now and we're very comfortable. She naturally weaned herself from her pre-bed one, so we have first thing in the mrorning and occasionally after naps. Anyway, I'm waffling - just wanted to say a few tears aren't necessarily bad. It's hard letting go of habit and routine. And if you're ready, I think this break might be a good idea - but if you want to stop, carry on and be strong when you get back. Good luck!