wannabe SAHM - am i crazy?

[jennlin]

i've always wanted to be a SAHM..since i was old enough to know i wanted to be a mom....when i started dating my H..he was 100% for it, too. but it took us 7 years to get on the baby-train...and during that time, i went to college, got a "real" job...and now i'm an engineer at one of the top-3 companies in the area.

now that i make approx 85% of what he makes salary wise, we're more hesitant on having me leave work to stay at home. his salary alone, we can pay all the bills, save for college (for this and the next baby), and still go on vacations every once in a while. basically, we don't need to change our current lifestyle. with me working, we can be big-ballahs, and it's just hard to leave (i'm already back at work after mat-leave).

so, SAHM's...remind me why you SAH. or tell me why you wish you worked.

TIA!

[statlerwaldorf]

I enjoy SAH, but if I made that kind of money I probably would work. How demanding is your job?

[jennlin]

The most demanding thing is my schedule- 5:30am-2pm. Overtime is available and encouraged, but usually not required. We have free daycare through my parents and his..I really have no "reason" to quit, other than I just don't *want* to work. But nobody *wants* to work, right?

[drloretta]

I made 75-80% of what DH made, and still quit to SAH. We could afford it, and I wasn't at all career-oriented. I liked my job, liked my team, and really enjoyed where my career path had taken me. But I had always wanted to SAH. To add to it, my commute was (on a good day) an hour each way, which left me very little time with DD.

There are days that I wish I could leave my screaming 2yo and go into a quiet office, but then she does something cute and it passes It also helps that I still freelance when needed for my old company. I get a little bit of $ to splurge or to help out with household expenses, and still get to SAH.

[jennlin]

thanks for the input ladies...right now, my tentative goal is to work until january. my company offers a paid "winter break" in december, and i will take advantage of that, then come back and put in my two weeks dd will be 11 months or so about the time we get back, so i'll be SAH once she turns one.

we tried looking into the paying off our house thing but will not likely pursue it. we recently refi'd for a 3% interest rate at 15 years..so it makes more sense for us to put our money in the stock market/other investments.

[abitofashout]

I only made about 60% of what my husband makes, and most of my income was going to daycare, so we decided it wasn't worth it anymore. He gets vacation compensation once a year through his work, as well as two paid weeks off. We have everything we want (new computers, nice TV, what have you), so for now it just makes the most sense. Plus, though I worked there five years, my job had pretty much run its course after two, so I was looking for a change anyway. I'm going to start a library science master's next year and go back to work (probably) when I finish that.

[jennlin]

Aug 24, 2012 16:05:56 GMT -5 jennlin said:

thanks for the input ladies...right now, my tentative goal is to work until january. my company offers a paid "winter break" in december, and i will take advantage of that, then come back and put in my two weeks dd will be 11 months or so about the time we get back, so i'll be SAH once she turns one.

booooo. our new tentative goal is for me to work until baby #2. since i posted this OP, i got a promotion and a raise.

it's pretty devastating that my "life dream" of being a SAHM have been crushed because i make too much money. total first world problem.

[lys]

You are allowed to change your mind.  Some people think they want to continue to work and when they do so - are unhappy with that choice.  Some think they want to SAH - and are unhappy when they do so.  If what you are doing works for your family - do it.  Unfortunately, it is hard to have it both ways unless you are able to work PT.

[annalatte]

I was a SAHM for 9 months (I was laid off, then decided to try it out). I found it to be a lot more work than I had expected! Staying at home is no cake walk! But, I found myself missing work a lot - I enjoy my field/profession, and I missed the adult interaction and working on interesting projects. Financially, it made more sense for me to go back to work, but I was glad I got to test it out. To be honest, it just wasn't for me in the long-run. If I did not go back to work, we'd never be able to afford to move out of our first home (which is tiny) or do things such as family vacations, have some wiggle room with spending money, etc. We were on a very tight budget that made us feel very stressed. Good luck with your decision!

[tripleshot]

I thought I wanted to be a SAHM too. Then when I was on ML, I was itching to go back to work at 12 weeks, and i did. Everyone is different obviously, but I think it's hard to know what you want until you're in the moment.

[evynsmama]

I would wait until baby comes to really make up your mind. I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom, while I missed DD so much when I came back to work, I enjoyed the break from parenting 24/7. I enjoy her more because I am away from her during the day, even if she is the biggest grump, I am happy to be with her, while I was on ML I did not feel that way.

[Deleted]

I have been a SAHM for 3 years. I love my kiddos but I can't WAIT to go back to work. Keeping toddlers engaged is really hard and frustrating for me. I was really happy to be home when they were babies. But at this point I almost feel I am doing them a disservice. You Really have to have a certain personality for it, I think.

[whitepicketfence]

Well, I became a SAHM because I hated my job, made a fraction of what DH did, and knew that we would never be able to afford 2+ kids in daycare.

In your situation, I wouldn't quit. You make good money, are done for the day at 2 pm, AND have free daycare? No way would I give that up. That's pretty ideal.

[jennlin]

here's my update, since my OP was about 6 mos ago, and am still getting responses for it!

i'm working, and probably will work for a long time. with current housing conditions, h and i decided to purchase a second home at an amazing deal. and with our free-childcare, non-demanding jobs, i will continue to work, at least for a while. oh well. still getting used to that fact.

[hrp22]

I actually made more than DH, and stayed at home. I used my income to pay off debt, finish house projects and get some of the major expenses out of the way. I then built up an e fund. I wish I would have had time to do a couple more things like save up a vacation fund. So, since you are already back to work I'd do all of that first. Then when you quit, you may just feel you are living at the smae level since you don't have daycare to pay for, and the other things you paid down/off while still working.

[fluffaluff]

I am a SAHM and love it, but find myself missing my profession and adult interaction sometimes. However, I know this is precious time that I will never get back with my baby, and to me, no amount of money can buy that. I know everyone has their own opinion on that..we choose to live very frugally and maintain a tight budget so that I can stay at home and I don't regret it.