Anyone scared to start TTC??

[FastHands]

I think that it's normal to have reservations/concerns/fears. That said, it sounds like you're not ready if these concerns are enough that you have been holding off trying. Unfortunately I don't know that there's a step-by-step way of "getting over it." You just have to want children enough that the draw-backs are worth it. Some people are born ready and some people never get there.

[jen3225]

I'm nervous about the responsibility of being a good parent! I'm also nervous about my ability to keep everything together (work, home, family, friendships) without being a frazzled mess.

The body stuff? Eh. Right now I'm happy with my body although it is not perfect. Although I realize that post-pregnancy things will have changed, I feel like I'll get back to the 'pretty good but not perfect' point. It's definitely not something that is holding me back.

[FastHands]

I'm not trying to be snarky at all, but it honestly doesn't sound like you're ready. How old are you? Is there any reason to rush?

Like pp was suggesting -- it's not like anyone is saying "YESSSSS weight gain!" or "omg, I can't wait to push a baby out of my vagina!!" but by the same token, if these things are giving you serious pause, it might not be time for you yet. And more importantly -- that's okay!

[Deleted]

I put off ttc for similar reasons. I wanted to travel to this and that place, I didn't want to be tied down or for my career to go stagnant. I wanted to enjoy time with my H. So I waited until I was 30 and we were married for over 5 years and now it doesn't look like it is going to be easy because my cycles are completely f-ed up. You should wait if you don't feel ready but my only advice would be to start charting your cycles to know your body better. Also, we did a lot of things/experiences this past year because we figured we wouldn't have the freedom once we had kids.

[FastHands]

Do you find you usually have trouble with big decisions? It seems like you either aren't ready and are trying to find reasons to "justify" that (even though you shouldn't feel the need to), or you have unrelated issues either with your body or change in general. If any of that rings true, it may help you to talk those things through with someone you trust.

[vmars]

I would wait if you are still feeling this way. I felt this way too at one point but I did get over my fears. One thing that helped was DH. He truly wants children and is an awesome uncle. He made me view pregnancy as an exciting time in our lives not a scary one. Also watching my sister go through 2 pregnancies helped calm me too.

[glauren]

I'm a very logical-minded person, and since TTC is so emotional/biological, I had a hard time deciding when to start. Like you, change freaked me out - I love my H, my job, my life - what would having a baby do to all that? My H was ready to TTC forever ago, and we spent a lot of time talking about how a baby would make our great life even better.
Still, it freaked me out - so I set financial, physical and career goals that I wanted to hit before TTC and promise my H I'd try once we hit those goals. I figured one of two things would happen: 1. I'd be really lucky and get pregnant right away, in which case I would have 9 months to get used to the idea, or 2. it would take a while and I'd want it more and more as the months went on. I'm now on cycle 8 and am basically standing on my head after sex while singing fertility songs...so you can see which category I ended up in.
I think some feelings of fear/apprehension are normal - this is a big life decision! But only you know if you're afraid of the change or simply not ready yet. There's no harm in waiting for a few months if it's the latter.

[magpie]

I felt this way about 1.5 years ago. I was 31 and my H and I were having a lot of TTC discussions, but ultimately, we both felt like we wanted a little more time to just be us. We decided to have one more year of crazy fun and we traveled a bunch, went out a lot and had a generally had a lot of fun. By the time a year passed, we were both ready. I'm glad that we didn't start before I was ready and I'm glad that we had a hell of a year.

I am nervous about the changes a kid is going to have on our lifestyle, but I am also excited about them. I'm also thinking about it in that my life will change, not end. We won't quit traveling, but we'll travel different. We won't go out so much, but we'll have more going on at home. I don't know...it's a big change and I feel much more ready for it now. I'm 32. We've been TTC for 3 cycles now and I hope it happens soon, but I have faith that it will happen when its meant to happen.

[sonrisa]

Feeling worried about what pregnancy and labor will do to your body is normal.

Hell, I have a kid and I am scared of what it will do. And that is coming from a woman whose body looks better now than it did pre-baby (except the scar = my weight is down, waist is narrow, tummy is flat, no stretch marks). I know I won't get that lucky again.

I can only jump in feet first if I lie and tell myself that I can't possibly have another labor and delivery that looks like my last one. That lie is even harder to tell now after my miscarriage (one of the issues last time is that I had damage to my leg nerves during labor which meant I couldn't walk for a while. During my short, unsuccessful pregnancy those nerves started acting up again. I fear I'll be on a walker for most of my next pregnancy).

My recommendation:Say goodbye to your favorite features. Mourn their loss. If you get lucky you'll be happy with your body post baby. Even if things change, your body will still accomplish amazing feats and you will have every reason to be proud of it. If that isn't enough, or if you have a history of body image / eating disorder issues, start talking to a therapist now.

It will be okay.