Nervous

[rikkiandjulie]

I saw DW over Xmas and it was wonderful, space seems to be doing us well even though I've been getting lonely down here in Kansas. I am falling in LOVE with KC though a really gorgeous city with lots of character.

DW and I have our first counseling sessions (2 hours) on Saturday. I'm terrified. I hope we get to the root of issues and don't spend every session talking about the details of my Infidelity. There is so much other stuff that that needs to be talked about besides that, other things that lead to it etc etc.

Basically, I'm just a nervous wreck and worried that the counselor will look at us and say "you two need to divorce". Which as far as I know isn't something either if us want.

It's been brushed upon in conversation that June may be a good time to move back in together. But we will talk more about that in counseling


Rikki-iPhone

[joyseattle]

As someone who's done couples counseling (although not in a similar situation) I would say that you should try to go in with an open-mind and without specific expectations. It is however helpful for both parties to go in with some topics that each would like to touch/focus on. There have been times where what I wanted to talk about what not where C was, or where the conversation needed to begin, or it naturally evolved to. It's also usually pretty uncommon for a counselor to suggest divorce unless there's abuse as they generally assume if parties are willing to spend the time and money to do couple's counseling that they're interested in working things out.

Best wishes on this next step!

[2brides]

Just go in with an open mind. If it your first session with this therapist, there may be a lot of getting to know you/your situation discussion.

Good luck!

[bluedaisyus]

Good luck!

[twotrue]

Like pps said, the first session may be getting to know you, your history, your family situations, etc. So be patient even if the first session doesn't feel like you got very far. And good luck!

[seattlekari]

Yes there could be a few getting to know you sessions, though 2 hours will hopefully be a good amount of time for that. Particularly if they ask you to fill out any paperwork ahead of time about what your concerns and/or goals are. Good luck!

[rikkiandjulie]

Counseling was good. The session was basically a synopsis of why we were there, what our issues were, etc. She gave us insight to how the affair wasn't our core issue it was just icing on the cake to a whole slew of issues that came up. We outlined goals we had together and individually. She also confirmed that we both clearly wanted to be together and were willing to put in the work bc we've each had our opportunity for an out.

I was so relieved that after the session I just sobbed in the car. It was so good.


Rikki-iPhone

[twotrue]

I'm glad you updated and that things went well. When will you meet for another session?

[rikkiandjulie]

Feb 9th is our next session.


Rikki-iPhone

[joyseattle]

That sounds like a great first session! Best wishes on this process!

[kershnic]

I'm so glad to hear it went well! Therapy and relationships can both be hard work, but it sounds like you're dedicated to working on this.

[hlke]

I'm so glad to hear it went well.