An intro of sorts...

[rugbywife]

Hello...

I am going to post here even though I have never posted before on GP, because really, this is where I am now.

I will try to keep it brief...

DH is 28, I am 34.

DH and I married in 2010 but wanted to wait until we were out of our condo and into a house before TTC so I went off BC in January 2012 and we moved into our home in July 2012.

We already knew that TTC would be an issue, when I was about 26 my doctor wondered if I had PCOS, they did some preliminary hormonal testing and then put me on BCP to control my facial hair and acne (although I needed a round of accutane to help with that). So my doctor said in January that if I wasn't pregnant by September she would refer me to the fertility clinic. My cycles were irregular, which isn't unheard of after being on BCP but they never regulated and essentially got longer with each one (32/42/41/29/46/35/40/42).

In September she referred me, my first appointment was October 31st.

In early October I noticed that I was lactating and called the fertility clinic, they told me to call my doctor. Lactation can be a sign of issues with the pituitary gland so I went to see my doctor and she referred me for an MRI, which was scheduled for December 10th.

I went to see the fertility clinic on October 31st and we started the whole testing process...I had a sonohystogram that showed neither tube was blocked but it was day 14 and I had no eggs, only small follicles with cysts. I did mention my lactation at the appointment, they weren't concerned by it. I neglected to mention my MRI referral. Mistake #1.

On December 10th I went for my MRI. That night my doctor called me at home to tell me that something had come up on my MRI, what *may* be a microadenoma on my pituitary (7mm) and that I needed a contrast MRI, which is now booked for February 11th. She also referred me to an endocrinologist but I haven't received my appointment time for that.

Today we went to the fertility clinic to get the results of all our tests. Every single thing came back within the normal levels: all my hormones, my glucose, my cholesterol...but I still have enough symptoms of PCOS and essentially they don't think I actually ovulate SO they were ready to go put me on Metformin and start monitoring for an IUI.

Then I showed them my MRI report.

And that is where my TTC dream (at least for now) stalled. Until there is a better idea of what is going on with my pituitary gland we are at a stand still. The fertility clinic essentially told me to call them after my MRI in February if they decided there is no microadenoma or after I see an endocrinologist if there is indeed a micro adenoma. And it could take MONTHS for me to get into the endo (my fertility doc said she would refer me herself but the waitlist is 8 months long with the endo she knows, she is hoping I get a better timeline with whomever my doctor sends me to.

Best case scenario: in February I do the contrast MRI and it turns out to be nothing.

Worst case scenario: I wait months to see the endo, then they want to do more testing to figure out what to do, put me on meds to shrink it, however long that takes, and then we start the metformin? Or, even worse, then they expect me to start trying again for a year just *to see*.

I essentially can't stop seeing the worst case scenario. I am 34. I want to have at least 2 kids. I want to have them before I am 40. This whole thing is just so depressing.

And the very worst thing is: I have only been at this for a year. I know there are people who have been at it a lot longer. I am already so tired and depressed and starting to get bitter.

So, not so short, good for you if you read it all It was nice to at least get it out there, nobody knows about today's visit except my husband, who I think is not sure how to deal with how hard I am taking this. His sperm results were awesome - of course! I feel like such a fucking failure of a wife.

[Cheesecake]

Hi and welcome here. That sounds awfully scary.
any chance you can get on the endo waitlist (and then just cancel your appt if it's nothing) before you get the MRI results in Feb, that would at least shave 6 weeks off of your wait.

FX that it's actually nothing and you can get started with the IUI plans in February!

[sunflower22]

Hi and welcome! Goodness, you have been dealing with a lot. I hope it turns out to be nothing and you don't have to wait around for an appointment.

[ilovecandy]

Welcome. I hope that everything turns out ok but we are here for you. I would also see if they could get you on the endo waitlist and then if it is nothing you cancel.

[lola]

Hi! I recognize you from CE&P, right?

Welcome, though I'm sad (for you) that you're here. Sounds like you've had a long road. I'll keep you in my thoughts/prayers in February that it's nothing and you can move forward with your TTC soon thereafter!

[rugbywife]

Jan 4, 2013 9:22:40 GMT -5 lola said:

Hi! I recognize you from CE&P, right?

Welcome, though I'm sad (for you) that you're here. Sounds like you've had a long road. I'll keep you in my thoughts/prayers in February that it's nothing and you can move forward with your TTC soon thereafter!

Yep, I do post there, and occasionally on ML and MM...but mostly CE&P. I used to lurk on TTTC on TB but never posted since even though I *knew* that's where I would end up, I didn't have enough 'experience' to post there yet.

And thanks for all the thoughts ladies. I am going to see my family doctor to day and ask her what's happening with the endo referral. My fertility doc suggested that they make a point of saying that I am TTC and almost 35, maybe that will make a difference. Here's hoping.

[daisy24342]

That's a frustrating situation. FX for good results in Feb!

[KaraOrNot]

Ugh, that sucks. The unknown is one of the toughest things to deal w/. Hope everything goes well in Feb!

[murdock]

That sucks, I hope your appt in Feb. goes well and/or that you get some real answers.

You've been through a lot.

[berbles]

I just want to hug you. GL with everything. I hope the next MRI is good news.