I am done EPing

[mrsjaymay]

After a lot of hesitation and debate with myself, I've decided that it's time for me to stop EPing. I've been doing 3 pumps per day since October and my supply has slowly been dropping since then. Earlier this week I went to twice a day and today I have only pumped once for about 5 minutes.

I'm trying not to feel guilty, as I've always had a huge over supply and feel like I should continue. As selfish as it sounds, pumping has become more of a stress in my life than it should. I'm working at a new job that requires me to be away from home for much longer than before (and waay less PBing :-( ), but getting up early to pump and going to bed later to pump is wearing me down.

I was planning on going to one year and donating my excess freezer stash, but now it looks like I will use it all. I was the third 'Lucky Bish' in the poll and I have a really large amount frozen. I probably have enough to continue giving her only BM until mid-late February. We will probably introduce formula before that point and give her a combination of both.

There really isn't a point to this other than getting it off my chest. It's hard for people to understand why I'm having a difficult time giving it up. Thanks for letting me vent a little.

[TrudyCampbell]

It is such a HUGE accomplishment that you made it this far! Great job! And since you have a freezer stash you're still achieving your goal of BM til age one. I understand its hard to give it up but you did so well. EPing is hardcore.

[ruby412]

Aww, I can imagine a huge change like this will feel sad and maybe stressful, but also think of the relief you will feel when there is no more pumping. I've told you before and I'll say it again, I could never EP! I give people like you major credit because let's face it, pumping sucks. But you stuck it out for 8.5 long months and that is freakin' amazing. You really did great!

[raynes]

I give you major props for lasting this long, I freaking hate pumping, so the fact that you've done it that often, for this long is amazing to me.

[claralou]

Jan 4, 2013 22:30:23 GMT -5 raynes said:

I give you major props for lasting this long, I freaking hate pumping, so the fact that you've done it that often, for this long is amazing to me.

Yep, this. I understand completely how you're feeling, but EPing this long is a major accomplishment, and you should be really proud of yourself!

[lolaburns]

I think you are awesome and amazing! No guilt for you!


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[nilex0102]

Awesome job making it this far - give yourself a pat on the back mama!!

[mrsjaymay]

Thanks ladies. I think the weaning process is also causing some hormone craziness which is contributing to my wishy-washy feelings about all of this.

[Deleted]

You did a fantastic job and it sounds like you have set her up with BM until a year. Good work! And the hormone thing is totally normal too, I had it with DS1 after he weaned and it sucked. But it went away after a month or so.

[eav2c]

Listen, don't feel guilty. LOOK AT YOU, you are fricken awesome. SERIOUSLY. I'm so lazy I could barely wash my pump parts after one random pump session. Pretty sure they are still chillin' on the counter from like two weeks ago. :-| You are a hero in my book! You've done an amazing job. Your daughter is what, 8/9 months old, and you've been pumping since October. I consider that a huge success. Don't feel guilty at all. My hat goes off to you, momma!

[jaime183]

Jan 4, 2013 22:40:20 GMT -5 claralou said:

Jan 4, 2013 22:30:23 GMT -5 raynes said:

I give you major props for lasting this long, I freaking hate pumping, so the fact that you've done it that often, for this long is amazing to me.

Yep, this. I understand completely how you're feeling, but EPing this long is a major accomplishment, and you should be really proud of yourself!

As a fellow EP'er I completely understand how you feel and I'm struggling with this myself. I just dropped to 4ppd but it's too much. You are very lucky to have such a freezer stash, you did an amazing job going so long

[AndyCohen]

You've done an amazing job though. I can't imagine pumping as long as you have! I know it's the hormones, but no need to feel guilty at all!

[mscatra]

I completely understand what you're saying. I've struggled with this for a while too. DH says "just stop if you hate it, you made it past 6 months!" but I feel like so many women have supply issues or other issues and can't produce, it would be terribly selfish of me to stop just because EPing is a pain in the ass. The only thing keeping me going at this point is that I'm a cheapskate, formula is expensive, and I bring in no income, so I feel like this is my contribution. So, anyway, I totally understand how torn you feel and how hard this decision was for you. You're an awesome mom to have made it this long and major, major props to you!!

[mrsjaymay]

Jan 5, 2013 7:28:41 GMT -5 mscatra said:

I completely understand what you're saying. I've struggled with this for a while too. DH says "just stop if you hate it, you made it past 6 months!" but I feel like so many women have supply issues or other issues and can't produce, it would be terribly selfish of me to stop just because EPing is a pain in the ass. The only thing keeping me going at this point is that I'm a cheapskate, formula is expensive, and I bring in no income, so I feel like this is my contribution. So, anyway, I totally understand how torn you feel and how hard this decision was for you. You're an awesome mom to have made it this long and major, major props to you!!

This hits the nail on the head mscat! I am basically stopping due to my own selfishness. I woke up this morning with a clog that I had to try and massage out in the shower, which made me feel bad. I feel like the drying up process is a slow one. Thanks for the support everyone.

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[imimahoney]

You are so amazing, try not to feel so hard on yourself. I stopped being for selfish reasons and do regret it at times but my son is happy and healthy so that makes me feel better.

[rxbeth]

You've done a fantastic job. I think no matter when you stop, there will be guilt.

[spaghetticat]

Jan 4, 2013 22:40:20 GMT -5 claralou said:

Jan 4, 2013 22:30:23 GMT -5 raynes said:

I give you major props for lasting this long, I freaking hate pumping, so the fact that you've done it that often, for this long is amazing to me.

Yep, this. I understand completely how you're feeling, but EPing this long is a major accomplishment, and you should be really proud of yourself!

Agree on all counts. Don't feel guilty. You did great!

[silverjm]

You did great making it this far, so don't feel down. I totally get it though. EPing is really starting to wear on me, but it's still working, so I don't feel like I can quit. Fortunately for me, my workplace and schedule are very conducive to me pumping, otherwise I think I'd be done.

[mscatra]

I really, really hope you don't think I'm calling you're selfish for quitting! I completely realize how stupid I am for thinking that about myself, and I'm definitely not saying that about you. ::hops away to remove foot from mouth::

[mrsjaymay]

Jan 6, 2013 6:59:42 GMT -5 mscatra said:

I really, really hope you don't think I'm calling you're selfish for quitting! I completely realize how stupid I am for thinking that about myself, and I'm definitely not saying that about you. ::hops away to remove foot from mouth::

Oh no, no worries!! I do feel like it's a selfish decision, but as Tamb pointed out, if a selfish decision is what makes me be a happier mommy, then it's better for everyone!

[laurack]

It's amazingyou made it this far! Wow! I hate pumping. As an ep-er I would not have lasted long at all. Way to go mama!

[jaime183]

I'm secretly jealous. I think I'm dropping a pump on the 17th (if I even make it that long). I think I need to be finishing up sooner rather than later. I counted and have 93 bags of milk and he has 101 days til his birthday. One bag a day- I'm going to freeze a lot now and start giving formula.

[Deleted]

Kudos to you!! I know what a labor of love that pumping really is. You've done an amazing job & I can also understand the emotional attachment. I'm barely making any now, but also really struggling with calling it quits. Congrats to you. Hope that you have a successful weaning process.