Question for those who are far from their parents

[musiclover]

I'm not talking under 2 hours away for this post. I'm also talking about your parents, not your in-laws

How far from your parents are you?
Why did you move away?
Are you Happy? If not, how do you cope?

[carawestt]

My parents live in Colorado (I'm in Arizona), so it's about a 10-12 hour drive and 2 hour plan ride. They moved away in December 2011 because of work. I'm not happy about it. I'm really close to my mom so it's been tough and Lincoln is her first grandchild, so she really hates that she misses a lot. We fly there often though and she's coming here in a few weeks for my birthday.

[jaime183]

How far from your parents are you? We're in Oregon. They are all in Pennsylvania. Both sides are in PA.

Why did you move away? Dave went to grad school in Colorado then got a job here.

Are you Happy? If not, how do you cope? We LOVE Oregon and would never want to move back east. It sucks being so far from family. We cope by using facetime (the apple version of skype) everyday now that Luke's here and both parents come to visit often- at least twice a year. We just spent Christmas with them in florida. I love my group of friends here and made a big effort to be social when we moved here so we have a huge network of great friends. All our friends are having kids now too. We also use each other for babysitting swaps and I have a highschool babysitter I use a lot. I do miss family but it is worth it to us to be here. I wouldn't be sad if they moved here though!

[musiclover]

How far from your parents are you? 3 Hours

Why did you move away? I am from NY, DH is from MA. We were taking turns driving back and forth for awhile and decided that one of us had to move. Since DH's dad owned an apartment house, it was much cheaper at the time for me to move up to MA.

Are you Happy? If not, how do you cope? This is a tough one, for the most part I am happy/content up here, it is not all that different from NY. I currently have one BF who lives 40 minutes from me, and that helps. Lately though I am finding myself becoming increasingly sad that I am raising my children 3 hours form my parents . I know that I chose to move away, but back then I was 22, and had no children. Now I am 33 and have 2 kids that only see thier grandparnets every 6-8 weeks, it has been making me so sad lately. Just the thought of my parents not being able to see them at soccer games, or attend any of their special things makes me sad. I'd love to move back to NY but it won't happen because DH's job is in NH (this job has great potential for our family) and we need to move in a year or two to be closer to his job, thus probably making me live further from my family. :-( I just wish that I had DH move to NY when we decided to be together.

[Deleted]

I live in Calgary Alberta, my parents live in Victoria British Columbia. It is a 13 hour drive + ferry ride away and a 1.5 hour flight. I moved away in 2006 for work. My ILs live in Halifax Nova Scotia a long drive and a 5.5 hour flight away. We have no family where we live and I never really cared that much until we had S and now I miss my family and wish we could move back. My parents come out 2-3 times a year and I try to go 1-2 times. I especially miss Sunday dinners, thanks goodness for Skype!!!

[musiclover]

Jan 5, 2013 10:40:45 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

We live about 2.5-3 hours away from my parents depending on traffic so I hope this counts. I originally moved to Long Island to be with a guy many many moons ago. I got a job in Manhattan and was commuting from Long Island. It didn't work out with the guy but I never went home because, where I am from, there aren't very many money making opportunities. Most of the jobs are retail and some professional but at the time, I didn't have a degree to get any of those jobs. Plus, the pay wasn't very good so you couldn't live on your own and I didn't want to live with my parents or a roommate. For what I was making in Manhattan, I could easily afford my own teeny tiny apartment in Queens. Eventually I met Eamon and he would never live in the country.

I am mostly happy but I go through sad times as well. I love my parents but they are high maintenance so I think it is easier to see them only once a month or so. Plus, whenever I do see them, it is usually them coming to me and I think my father is much more behaved that way. I am sad that I don't get to see my sister and her kids as much as I would like but her kids are teenagers now so they probably wouldn't want to hang out with me much anyway.

Truthfully, Eamon and I want to move even farther away.

where do you guys want to go?

[muppetinma]

How far from your parents are you? 1,148 miles. My dad is in New Hampshire and I'm in Atlanta. DH's parents are in Memphis and Hot Springs.

Why did you move away? DH and I were both traveling for work (On tour with Starlight Express) so we had no home base. When we decided to get married and get off the road, we wanted an affordable cost of living, little to no snow, and a large airport. We debated between Charlotte and Atlanta, but decided on here because we already had some friends in town.

Are you Happy? If not, how do you cope? No, I'm not really happy. Living closer to his parents really isn't an option because there is no work to be had. Moving closer to my family isn't really an option due to the cost of living comparison. My dad spends a lot of time in SC where I grew up, and that's about four hours away. My whole non-blood family is there too, so I go a couple of times a year to decompress. My family is being very proactive about trying to get together. We're renting a cabin together at the end of next month so we can all hang out.

[mamasaurus]

My mother is in Las Vegas, and my dad is in Pennsylvania. I am in Illinois. I didn't move away; they did.

My other dad lives about an hour away, but he and his wife are moving to Ohio this year.

My in-laws are very involved with Babysaurus, but if they were far away too, I'd be sad that she doesn't get the full grandparent experience. I/we miss out on my dad more than my mom, because while she is doing better with a lot of the issues that caused us to be estranged for a while, she still has a lot of those problems to enough degree that I think she'd hurt my daughter's feelings if they were close.

[AndyCohen]

burp

[lolaburns]

Over 2500 miles. I hate it and it's painful. When I moved here, I never intended to stay here this long but I met my H. I love the experience that I have had, but being far away from my parents and missing out on so many years with them will be one of my life's biggest regrets.

It's become much worse as I have become older. I see how short life is and how I can't ever get those years back with them. Now that Luke, is here I absolutely count the days even more until we move close to them.

Thank God for FaceTime. But it isn't the same.

Edit to answer all the questions:
I moved here for college. I always wanted to live in NYC, but never intended on staying. My first year if school I decided I'd move out to Los Angeles for a few years and then make my way back home. That never happened.

Coping is hard. I feel like I'm waiting to start living my life. We will be moving the summer of 2017 and it can't get here fast enough.


Sent from my iPad using ProBoards app

[AndyCohen]

Stupid app!

How far from your parents are you? My mom is in Buffalo and we're in NYC, so 1 hr flight or 7 hr drive.

Why did you move away? I grew up in a small town outside of buffalo where everyone knows everyone and I hated it. I came to NY for college so I would have an excuse to move away.

Are you Happy? If not, how do you cope? I'm happy, but it sucks having no family around sometimes. I would love to just dump Audrey on my mom for a few hours instead of paying $20/hr for a babysitter. My mom and I used to be super close, but ever since I had Audrey, we really but heads. I think the distance is a factor in that because my mom feels like Audrey won't know her and is just so desperate to be a factor in her life that it drives her to do the stuff that's annoying me. She has to realize that she's just the grandma and that I am the mom.

[Deleted]

All parents are 10+ hours away. I hate that, but we use FaceTime and see them at least 4 times a year (and we try to stay for at least a week at a time.)

We moved away for my graduate school and have no clue where we will be in the next years. Hopefully closer to our family.

I am not unhappy living in South Carolina. We have great friends who love us and our kid. But, I would like to have my cake and eat it too, please!

[nannerl]

How far from your parents are you?

With the most direct itinerary, a 12 hours of flights and a two hour car ride.

Why did you move away?

My husband's work.

Are you Happy? If not, how do you cope?

Yes and no. We miss our families terribly... the families are close on both sides, so it is tough not being around for all of the impromtu gatherings through the year. However, the day-to-day here is pretty great. I am able to SAH which I wouldn't be able to do in the US, and I'm glad we can manage it for a few years. We are looking forward to moving back though. I hate it that the grandparents are watching A grow up from so far away!

[vthokie]

My parents are in Charlotte, which is 4 hours from Knoxville. I left to go to college in VA and just didn't head back that way, though I've moved around a bunch. I definitely wish they were closer, especially now that mom's sick. The in-laws are 2 hours away and it would be nice to have my family that distance. I think we're here for a while though.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

How far from your parents are you? A transatlantic flight with one lay over, plus 50 minute car ride.

Why did you move away? I was done with college, didn't want to grow up.

Are you Happy? Yes, and lucky as hell.


Sent from the future.

[christidee]

My parents are a 13 hour car drive away. They live in a semi-remote area. The only option for flying is to fly 4 hours and then take a rinky dinky flight, or fly four hours and then drive another.

I moved away in college. I went to an instate school that was 8 hours away from where I grew up. While I was in college, they moved to where they are now. I didn't even have a chance to pack up my room. After college, I moved to where I am not to be with DH, my then boy friend.

I am happy. I wish they never moved while I was in college because then they would only be 3.5 hours away, but oh well.

[nilex0102]

My family is in Germany, Ils are in Ohio. We live in Oregon.

I moved here for Grad school and my husband for work. We love Oregon, not a chance we will be moving back east anytime soon. Nothing much better than being close to the ocean and the mountains ;-)

We cope fine. On my side there really are only my mom and my grandma. My mom and I are not that close and she comes to visit frequently ( 3-4 times a year which is more than plenty). If we were in Germany I would most likely not be living close to family either. My mom is super high maintenance and not helpful with the kids so her being far away is fine. I am sometimes sad the kids will not have the relationship with grandparents we had but even if we were close that would not be the case.
ILs basically never come to visit for a myriad of reasons or excuses which annoys the heck out of me especially now that traveling is more difficult with two kids.

[musiclover]

Thanks for all of the honest answers ladies, I guess there are quite a few of us in this situation. It's not easy...
({) (})

[creamsiclechica]

We're 13 to 16 hours away from both our families, give or take. We live here because of the Army, obviously. It's a struggle. Both ways. We love our home, our neighborhood/area, and the cost of living enables me to SAH, live comfortably, and still have future plans. If we moved back to the East Coast, we'd drown without 2 incomes, and we'd still have to downsize what we have to manage. However, I'm a huge family girl. I ache being away from my family, but DH makes miracles happen, and we go home at least 4 times a year. We can't always go both of us together, but I've gone home by myself, or myself with A because it's too hard to be away. We're looking to get closer, but it's going to take a lot to prepare for the increase in cost. He is locked into his unit here until 2014, and then we're looking at somewhere in DC to get stationed so I can use my degree to work. But we're looking at an almost 3 times increase in cost, and that's huuuuuge. It's really sad it comes down to that for us, money