CP: 2+ mamas on expanding families

[Beener]

For the app users:
It sounds like many of us are gearing up to TTC again. So 2+ mamas, give it to us straight: What was the most difficult transition?
Going from zero to 1 child.
Going from 1 to 2 children.
Going from 2 to 3 children.
Going from 3 to 4 children.
Going from 4 to more.

[charlielove]

0-1 was honestly a million times more difficult for me then 1-2. Charlotte is an easy baby, which helps, but I think the real difference is that my whole life was already child focused anyway, and I had more confidence in myself as a mother this time around.

[nilex0102]

I said 1-2 just because you have less free time and really cannot "take turns" with your husband anymore, except for breastfeeding of course. But for us neither transition has been particularly hard as a family. For me personally going back to work with two has been tougher than with one but I think that is due to drop off and pick up times and putting pressure on myself.

[tuck]

0-1 was a million times harder. It may be the age gap between mine, but 1 to 2 kids hasn't been hard at all.

Once you get used to the idea that being the momma = doing the vast majority of the bitch work, it's smooth sailing.

[erniebufflo]

Well, going from zero to 2 has kicked my ass.

(I know I don't count since I skipped 0-1)

[nilex0102]

Jan 6, 2013 19:27:02 GMT -5 tuck said:

0-1 was a million times harder. It may be the age gap between mine, but 1 to 2 kids hasn't been hard at all.

Once you get used to the idea that being the momma = doing the vast majority of the bitch work, it's smooth sailing.

Truth!

[kkfeb04]

Jan 6, 2013 19:22:28 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

I voted 0-1 because of the things stated above. However, while you know all those things you learned the first time around, there is whole knew slew of craziness with two. BUT, it isn't as difficult - you will just have A LOT less free time (AKA NONE AT ALL!) and you will want to kick yourself as you remember the days when you had so much time with 1 kid but didn't realize it.

This. It also makes you stabby when you have a coworker with one 18 month old child bitch she doesn't have time to herself but sends little precious to the grandparents weekly (she's at the sitter 5 days a week) just so her and her husband can have time away from the child. She told me I don't have a clue what it is like to be busy.

[Deleted]

Omg 1 to 2

[pinkpeony6210]

1-2.

Newborn + needy tantrum throwing toddler = chaos.

Eta: It also took a while to get over the fact that I couldn't spend as much time with Ella as I once could. I felt extremely guilty.

[livinreality]

Jan 6, 2013 20:40:37 GMT -5 pinkpeony6210 said:

1-2.

Newborn + needy tantrum throwing toddler = chaos.

Eta: It also took a while to get over the fact that I couldn't spend as much time with Ella as I once could. I felt extremely guilty.

This and I had free time with 1 I have none now and less I plan and growl with people to watch kids. I also went from an easy going child to a high needs/demanding baby.

[cat19]

I said 1-2 but I think it's because of the age difference. We had a groove, and then we had to change it completely.

[Deleted]

0-1 was a huge shock for me on the lifestyle changes. Agree with Charlie and Tuck here. You're in the parent groove already for #2 and as long as your gap isn't too close, it's totally manageable. But mine are almost 3 yrs apart so DS1 was pretty independent already when baby arrived.

[thedahliharpa]

1-2. There is no taking turns. Someone always needs something. It is much harder to leave 2 with someone vs. one.

[rainbowchip]

I voted 0-1 also. I think it really depends on the temperament o f each kid. Lyla was an amazingly easy newborn so 1-2 wasn't that hard. Don't get me wrong, having a NB and a toddler is not walk in the park, but like others said, you are already used to being a mom and not getting any sleep.

[fusion]

0-1 for us, even with the 18 month spacing. My son was a difficult infant, while DD is super easy and DS is now a fairly easy toddler. They adore each other and it really isn't too hard now. I'm looking forward to adding a third and having 2u2 again!

[Deleted]

Jan 6, 2013 23:04:04 GMT -5 fusion said:

0-1 for us, even with the 18 month spacing. My son was a difficult infant, while DD is super easy and DS is now a fairly easy toddler. They adore each other and it really isn't too hard now. I'm looking forward to adding a third and having 2u2 again!

Fusion you need to have a lie down. And your head examined

[fusion]

Jan 6, 2013 23:29:24 GMT -5 @starbound said:

Jan 6, 2013 23:04:04 GMT -5 fusion said:

0-1 for us, even with the 18 month spacing. My son was a difficult infant, while DD is super easy and DS is now a fairly easy toddler. They adore each other and it really isn't too hard now. I'm looking forward to adding a third and having 2u2 again!

Fusion you need to have a lie down. And your head examined

CH! My train of thought is that J & A will occupy each other and leave me free to take care of #3, hence making 2-3 even easier in some aspects than 1-2. Hoping no one chimes in to burst my bubble ;D

[nilex0102]

Jan 6, 2013 23:29:24 GMT -5 @starbound said:

Jan 6, 2013 23:04:04 GMT -5 fusion said:

0-1 for us, even with the 18 month spacing. My son was a difficult infant, while DD is super easy and DS is now a fairly easy toddler. They adore each other and it really isn't too hard now. I'm looking forward to adding a third and having 2u2 again!

Fusion you need to have a lie down. And your head examined

Ha!
We are two and done but for some reason while with DS it took me two years to be able to think about having a second I would be ok having the third closer together if we were to do that. Must be the hormones still ;D

[lolaburns]

I'm screwed. I'll be like a single mom with two so...you guys have me scared shitless.


Sent from my iPad using ProBoards app

[biblionerd]

Oh god, 1 to 2. I was so pissed at everyone that insisted that 1 to 2 was a breeze. I don't know if it's because ours were 11 months apart, but I thought I was going to lose it pretty much every day. I felt sooooo busy with 1 and now I lmao at the thought that I had no free time with 1. You realize how easy you have it with 1 when there's another one there. You can't just hand a baby over and leave. DS wasn't walking yet when DD came, which was so much harder. He was too young to go play by himself and wasn't old enough to understand what a baby was, nonetheless why I was holding one and not paying attention to him.

Don't get me wrong- 0-1 was much bigger of a change than I realized- I had NO idea what was in store for us having a baby, but I have had a much harder time with this. Now that DD and DS are starting to play together it's getting easier. Since she's getting more independent it's easier to do stuff and let them "play" together as much as they can. But man... I was not prepared for a screaming 11 month old hanging off of my with a fresh c/s incision and a baby on my boob, trying to feed everyone at once, and just figuring out HOW to get everything done. 2u1 was so hard because they were in two different stages so I couldn't just prop them both up to do something or take care of the other, but DS wasn't old enough to be independent at all- just more mobile than her, but almost just as needy!

eta: we're still hoping for 3u3, so it didn't scar me too badly. At this point, honestly life is so busy another one just couldn't make it any worse.

[kkfeb04]

Jan 7, 2013 0:43:19 GMT -5 lolaburns said:

I'm screwed. I'll be like a single mom with two so...you guys have me scared shitless.


Sent from my iPad using ProBoards app

This is basically us. Dh and I work opposite schedules and he's gone 12-14 hours a day, 5 days a week. We get three days off a year together. It sucks monkeyballs. Big ones. Naptime is glorious, especially when they nap together. I'm a shitty mom, I live for naptime.

[biblionerd]

Jan 7, 2013 1:15:28 GMT -5 kkfeb04 said:

I'm a shitty mom, I live for naptime.

Pft, no way. I literally cheer and dance around when I can get them to nap at the same time.

[kkfeb04]

If I can get 30-60 min of them to nap without holding her, I'm like a new woman. I've resorted to having them nap on the same bed and have gotten a two hour nap out of her when she snuggles with him. She cut three teeth so she wanted to be held after 45 min this weekend but she slept another 2-3 hours held, I'll still take it. I love only hearing their snores for three hours.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

H was an easy baby, but it still kicked our asses. Adding Butterbaby was no big deal, but as the Germans like to say, "One child is no child." Except it rhymes when they say it.

I think spacing plays a role. H has her friends, is potty trained, loves going to preschool everyday. What super sucks is that when Butterbaby is sick and is up all night, it all defaults to me. Partly because I have the boobs, and partly because someone has to be semi well-rested for H.

Sent from the future.

[joyhart02]

Jan 6, 2013 22:16:42 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

1-2. There is no taking turns. Someone always needs something. It is much harder to leave 2 with someone vs. one.

I laugh when I think it was so hard to leave the house, we were so busy, etc with just one. Never a break, I too live for nap time.

[Beener]

Thanks ladies for your input! It sounds like it all boils down to the individual situations (kids' temperaments, lifestyle, etc.) I was thinking 0-1 would be the toughest for us but I guess it depends on how baby #2 is if we are blessed with another.