Speaking of houses, H is starting to worry me

[drrn04]

We're meeting w/ a mortgage broker at the end of the month to see where we stand realistically in terms of $$ and loans available. Officially starting the search then. Our dream house is basically this:



That is a house in our area that we know will be coming on the market soon (H's partner is the guy's neighbor, there's a messy divorce and the house is going to be listed soon). The inside is beeeautiful, totally custom, and exactly what we are looking for.

However.

Remember that horrific pointy house I posted a while ago? This one?



It was recently reduced in price by $40k. H sent it to me, again, saying "look at this insane deal of a house. We should seriously consider this, the price is too good to pass up given the amount of acreage, the school district, and the size of the house." Yeah. Except it is FUG, and we would never be able to sell it. Ever. There's a reason it is under priced and still on the market.

I'm growing increasingly nervous about this whole house thing. I know that you don't really "know" until you start seeing them in person, and of course compromises will have to be made. But seriously. How do you have the dream home of #1, and then see #2 and think, "yes! Close enough!!"

:-( :-( :-(

[lemondrop]

That's a lovely house!

[ralphlauren]

that house is terrible. Tell him no

[luckyval]

yeah, that second one screams "I don't do windows"
The first one is absolutely adorable!

Good luck! The whole process is freaking nerve racking

[drrn04]

I did. I told him that I know we'll have to compromise, and it is highly unlikely that we'll get our ultimate dream home this first go-round w/ house buying. Realistically, we'll prossibly buy another one in 10 years.

But that I was absolutely unwilling to even consider something like that. No way. No how. He's sulking that I'm being unreasonable because the inside is recently redone, and very high quality, although not at all to my taste. My argument is that I don't care how pretty the inside is, you still have to drive up to that. Every day. Not happening.

I'm sure someone out there would totally love that house. I am not that person.

[sneetch]

I think resale is a legit reason to not buy a house if you're not planning to stay there forever, and number two would be very hard to sell. Team dot.

[drrn04]

Jan 6, 2013 22:05:00 GMT -5 sameoldash said:

did he ever get his fancy doctor car? if yes, you get full veto power on that second house.

Yes. He did.

I HAVE THE POWER!!!

[fuckyourcouch]

nope, no way. veto it.

[dizzydee]

The first house is amazing. But I don't hate the second one :/

[Deleted]

DH and I had a very frank discussion about this when discussing my not having a job/ buying a house. At the end of the day, you are spending a HUGE amount more time in that house than he is. You need to love it. Or at least LIKE it. Price and school district don't make a damn bit of difference if momma ain't happy. Trust and believe. We ended up not buying a house I hated and that DH mooned over for months, and then found a dream home that both of us loved!

[ProfessorArtNerd]

The part that throws me most is the diagonal siding. Wtf!

[eb777888]

I agree with you, 100%. I'd veto that pointy second house. No way.

[drrn04]

Jan 6, 2013 22:15:13 GMT -5 @weeble said:

DH and I had a very frank discussion about this when discussing my not having a job/ buying a house. At the end of the day, you are spending a HUGE amount more time in that house than he is. You need to love it. Or at least LIKE it. Price and school district don't make a damn bit of difference if momma ain't happy. Trust and believe. We ended up not buying a house I hated and that DH mooned over for months, and then found a dream home that both of us loved!

I'm glad you replied. THANK YOU. The me spending time in it argument came up, but I'm not sure it sunk in.

[pantsparty]

I feel like that second house is trying to stab me.

[missyny]

Tell him youve started having nightmares about it!

[Deleted]

Jan 6, 2013 22:22:10 GMT -5 @drrn04 said:

Jan 6, 2013 22:15:13 GMT -5 @weeble said:

DH and I had a very frank discussion about this when discussing my not having a job/ buying a house. At the end of the day, you are spending a HUGE amount more time in that house than he is. You need to love it. Or at least LIKE it. Price and school district don't make a damn bit of difference if momma ain't happy. Trust and believe. We ended up not buying a house I hated and that DH mooned over for months, and then found a dream home that both of us loved!

I'm glad you replied. THANK YOU. The me spending time in it argument came up, but I'm not sure it sunk in.

Seriously, though. It's so true. He'll come around.

[Dagny]

House #1 is so amazing, holy crap.
I'm dying that he can look at house #1 and then suggest #2. It looks like something the Brady Bunch dad would build.
Can it be, like, de-pointified? Yikes, man.
I'm on Team Veto.

[Deleted]

Perhaps I am nutz but when I was combing thru listings in the north shore I came across this house and thought the exact same thing -- great price but ugly exterior that would be REALLY HARD & EXPENSIVE to fix to my liking! Veto it!!

[Gato]

That first house looks wonderful and is exactly my style. I hope you get it!

I wonder what kind of person falls in love with pointy fug house?

[PinkSquirrel]

Jan 7, 2013 0:16:53 GMT -5 @kizmet said:

Listen. I'm an architect. It would take an act of god (and all of god's money) to make the second house up to date and not so......pointy. Trust me. Tell him NO.

I think this means you win

[gretchenindisguise]

Yeah, no. Just no. I will come and declare him incompetent if need be.

[Deleted]

I remember the pointy house. LOL.

But is there really any harm in seeing it in person?

I mean, come on. That would be hilarious.

[sparkythelawyer]

I'm starting to get the impression your husband gets crappy when he doesn't get to spend money they way HE wants. Put your foot down, that thing is an eyesore :-)

[catinthehat]

That house is a physical hazard How on earth would you hang Christmas lights every year? You would have to hire someone and that ain't cheap!!

Good luck. I'm still searching for the right home after a few months. Got to have nerves of steel to endure this process!

[sonrisa]

For a discount that amounts to about $1500 a year he is okay with you waking up everyday feeling miserable about where you live? And he just bought and expensive sports car?

[CheshireGrin]

Oh dear god I remember the pointy house.

It is also exactly the kind of thing that my XH would have loved. ::shudder::

[Deleted]

House #1 is beautiful! Sad about the messy divorce, but I hope for you it goes on the market and at a good price.
All the relevant points again 2 have been made, especially the high cost of changing and the low resale value. I just couldn't take seriously anyone who lived in that thing.
Good luck! Hopefully you can show YH what a nightmare that place is!

[iamgrace]

No, no. Do not buy the pointy house. Do not let him sway you. Be firm. The first is lovely, though. Good luck.

[drrn04]

I definitely realize there are people who would love that house, I'm just not one of them.

And the car wasn't a fancy sports car. It is a nice car, but he did compromise and get one I could drive and that we could take the girls in. He is still driving a sedan of sorts. Lease, not buy. He usually is really low stress about money, and is definitely more low key about it than I am, but the houses are not comparable in price. the first one is substantially more than the second.

And with that I'll try not to post much more about this until we are farther along on the process. Much ado about nothing and all that.

[poppyseed]

Dot, honestly, I don't think the pointy house is that bad. But you both need to like where you're going to live. Good luck!