speaking of weddings

[bugabean]

I survived my first Danish church wedding. I had been warned that receptions go long, but… well, how about a story!

ILs pick up the kids around noon, as it's a no-kids wedding.

Wedding starts at 3pm. One of the trains we need only runs every hour, so we have to decide between arriving at 2:05 or 3:05. So… leave at 12:30, arrive at 2:05. Walk around the churchyard, peoplewatch a nearby party, and otherwise kill time until other people start showing up.

3:00 - 3:45 the actual church ceremony. Interestingly, in Danish churches, you stand to pray and sit to sing hymns, which is opposite from what I'm used to. (I had already observed this at a christening, but I still think it's weird.)

The next half hour or so is spent taking pictures, admiring the couple, and throwing rice. Real rice, not birdseed, because I guess Denmark didn't get that memo, and we were throwing it with the couple just standing there not moving, which seemed odd. But ok.

Then we catch a ride with a friend to the reception site, which is about 3 minutes away. We probably could have walked it, but I was in my purdy-not-comfy shoes and was glad I didn't have to.

So we're chilling at the reception site, with our 'welcome drinks' (can't have any Danish event without one of these… seems to usually be champagne mixed with something that makes it red) until around 6:30 when they serve dinner.

Assigned seats. They are really anal about making all the table arrangement male - female - male - female as much as possible, and they LOVE to split up couples to try to make you meet new people or something. So I'm across the table from DH, stuck in between two men I've never met but want to get to know me in Danish. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, though. Oh, the favors. Next to every plate was a cute little box. Inside the box was a piece of candy and a little piece of paper with a list of missions. Yeah, I had a list of things I was supposed to do, including toasting in Russian every time someone lifted their glass, and asking my BIL to dance before the night was over. (Seven glasses of wine later, I would sneak around collecting everyone else's lists because I thought it was funny. But anyway….)

While we eat, there as some traditions, of course. Bang your knife on your plate to make the couple stand on their chairs and kiss. Stomp your feet to make the couple crouch down under the table and kiss. If either of them go to the bathroom, all the opposite-sexed guests run up and kiss the one left behind. And the speeches. OMG the speeches. Half an hour long, easy, per speech. And there were a billion of them. And the songs. Rewrite the lyrics to a well-known song to be about the couple, pass out copies of the new lyrics to everyone, and make everyone sing. After about 10 songs and 1000 speeches, it's time to cut the cake.

Now it's just shy of midnight. The couple has to do the wedding waltz before midnight, or it's bad luck, so everyone rushes outside, the couple starts to dance, and then the crowed closes in on them and… attacks them with scissors. No, really. The bride gets her veil chopped up, and the groom has his socks and tie chopped up. Seriously.

Then the real dancing happens. And keeps happening. When we left at 4am, it was still going strong. Unfortunately the busses and trains were not, and we had to take a 1000-kroner cab ride home, but at least we split the fare with another couple. Crash in bed at 5am and wake up at 2pm, super grateful that the ILs took the kids for the whole day.

It was fun, but I'm kinda glad we don't have very many unmarried friends….

[aMrsin09]

Hey I know this one!

The tradition of throwing the garter comes from the OLD tradition of having a piece of the brides attire = good luck. The bride would have her clothes ripped off of her. I guess they still take it literally over there!

[crimsonandclover]

Wow - that thing with the scissors sounds scary! I had also heard that the garter came from the old tradition of needing a piece of the bride's clothes, but still...

In Germany the receptions also go to the wee hours of the morning (I always find some excuse to bow out early), but thankfully it's not just full of speeches. Lots of people contribute different things - skits about the couple, making the couple come up front / onto the stage to play a funny game, etc. Many are enjoyable, some are boring.

It's great that you got to experience it, though!

[clickerish]

Wow, it's the time of the wedding I guess! I also had a wedding this weekend. It was lovely, but really really pink...

[azure]

Sounds like a fun wedding! I like the missions!

[GilliC]

May 30, 2012 6:47:16 GMT -5 bugabean said:

Next to every plate was a cute little box. Inside the box was a piece of candy and a little piece of paper with a list of missions. Yeah, I had a list of things I was supposed to do, including toasting in Russian every time someone lifted their glass, and asking my BIL to dance before the night was over. (Seven glasses of wine later, I would sneak around collecting everyone else's lists because I thought it was funny. But anyway….)

I think this sounds like a blast! I would love to go to a wedding where people were actually participating in their crazy assignments!

May 30, 2012 6:47:16 GMT -5 bugabean said:

OMG the speeches. Half an hour long, easy, per speech. And there were a billion of them. And the songs. Rewrite the lyrics to a well-known song to be about the couple, pass out copies of the new lyrics to everyone, and make everyone sing. After about 10 songs and 1000 speeches, it's time to cut the cake.

Norwegians are the same way. Not speaking Norwegian, I was going insane after a few hours of speeches and being forced to try to follow along on the lyrics sheets for tunes I'd never heard in a language I don't speak! So exhausting! At least there was plenty of wine for toasting at the end of all the speeches! I was pretty smashed since I couldn't really do anything but focus on my wine glass.

[Deleted]

I love the idea of the little pieces of paper. That actually sounds fun. You can do it if you want to or not if you don't, right?

[bugabean]

They didn't have mission police or anything. lol I technically didn't do one of my missions, since I never asked BIL to dance, but he did ask me and we did dance so I decided to count it. After I collected a bunch of other sheets, I saw a couple people had missions to help look after the couple's kids. (In typical Danish fashion, the wedding came after the kids.) They had arranged for a babysitter, but she got sick, so they tacked a mission on for some of their closest friends!

[clogged]

Ugh. I HATE the stupid songs, idiotic skits, and the need for everyone to make speeches.

[elenetxu]

If anyone would've come after my veil, I probably would've decked them!

Sounds like a fun time though!

[americaninoz]

cut up the veil? OMG wow!

[clickerish]

The Dutch side of my family has this really annoying habit of making all the children bring canned goods and walk them up during the reception... I can't for the life of me figure out why. Although I suppose it's not as bad as the infernal dollar dance the American side has resurrected.

[clogged]

May 30, 2012 21:11:45 GMT -5 clickerish said:

The Dutch side of my family has this really annoying habit of making all the children bring canned goods and walk them up during the reception... I can't for the life of me figure out why. Although I suppose it's not as bad as the infernal dollar dance the American side has resurrected.

That is the most bizarre thing I have ever heard.

I know people bring gifts to the reception, and the bride and groom open them as they are presented in the reception line. But never caught a canned food drive! LOL You could totally register at costco!!