How long does it take you to poop?

[TrudyCampbell]

Because it takes me about the same amount of time as a pee. I don't understand this extended pooping. The amount of time my H spends in the bathroom blows my mind.

[lolaburns]

Me too! My H and I always joke about this. The male phenomenon of long pooping blows my mind. I'm SO in and out. It just doesn't take that long.

Besides, sitting on a toilet is not really comfy.


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[katie]

Same as you, I'm in and out. Most of the time no one would even suspect I was pooping by the amount of time spent. DH doesnt spend as much time as I've seen other people but definitly more than me. I don't know why it takes so long either!

[Deleted]

I've had constipation and stomach issues since birth. If I'm having an 'attack,' then it takes me a few hours. No joke. Thats also including immense amounts of pain, shaking, and sometimes throwing up. If I keep up on my miralax, then I can finally fit in the quick pooper category! But generally, its no less than 15-20 minutes...

[muppetinma]

I'm a quick pooper, but I fake taking longer. Some days, it's the only break I get. I'll play games on my phone after I'm done to waste a few minutes.

[TrudyCampbell]

Long poopers- I'm being completely serious- what are you doing that whole time? Waiting for the poop to arrive? Couldn't you just wait to go into the bathroom until you REALLY had to go? Or are you pooping intermittently that whole time?

[charlielove]

I'm quick too which is why I have no patience for DH's 20 minute sessions, especially because they always happen when we are about to leave.

[Deleted]

Jan 8, 2013 20:30:56 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

Long poopers- I'm being completely serious- what are you doing that whole time? Waiting for the poop to arrive? Couldn't you just wait to go into the bathroom until you REALLY had to go? Or are you pooping intermittently that whole time?

For me, I'm in so much pain that I have to sit there and at least try. Usually I'll sit for a few minutes until the pain lets up, then I go lay down. Back in there after like 10 mins. And then back out. and back in. Thats what takes hours. Then finally I am able to go, but (tmi), then its horrible diarrhea and butt piss. Suuuuucks!

[The Foozzler]

Yes! I am just as quick to poop as to pee. The only thing that might delay me an extra few seconds depends on the amount of cleanup needed.

H is a 30 minute pooper. It bugs the hell out of me!

[Deleted]

Quick here. But hubs takes FOREVER. He brings magazines in there with him. Eeww

[mala]

Jan 8, 2013 20:16:44 GMT -5 muppetinma said:

I'm a quick pooper, but I fake taking longer. Some days, it's the only break I get. I'll play games on my phone after I'm done to waste a few minutes.

Same here. I take longer if H is home and watching the kid so I can get a bit of a break.

[rainbowchip]

I swear my butt hole shrinks up. I have to be completely relaxed before I can go. Then it never feels like I'm done so I keep trying to go more but I don't really have to.

[gmoneymommy]

I'm usually fast, but if I get tense it takes me longer to push. I hate going in public and usually tense up and have a hard time. Now I'm a little embarrassed.

[hass2001]

I only poop when it's ripe and ready to go. In and out. I usually get the urge pretty quick and I have to high tail it to the bathroom.

I'm sorry sprinkles that sounds very painful. My hubby describes something similar when he goes. I've always thought he's got something going on.

[biblionerd]

Oh my goodness, I've never understood long poopers! I know there are special circumstances where you have health problems obviously, but it seems pretty suspect that the majority of times it seems like it's men... conveniently DH can poop really fast when some super special game is on, but when it's tantrum central it just takes so long. It takes me just as long as to pee! I feel like DH is like a kid sometimes. "I think I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be back." You THINK you have to go? How do you not know if you have to poop!?!? Don't you either have the urge or not? The kids have been pretty grumpy lately though, so my stomach's "really been bothering me" a bunch when DH is home.

[greenkitty98]

Jan 8, 2013 20:36:20 GMT -5 @sprinkles said:

Jan 8, 2013 20:30:56 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

Long poopers- I'm being completely serious- what are you doing that whole time? Waiting for the poop to arrive? Couldn't you just wait to go into the bathroom until you REALLY had to go? Or are you pooping intermittently that whole time?

For me, I'm in so much pain that I have to sit there and at least try. Usually I'll sit for a few minutes until the pain lets up, then I go lay down. Back in there after like 10 mins. And then back out. and back in. Thats what takes hours. Then finally I am able to go, but (tmi), then its horrible diarrhea and butt piss. Suuuuucks!

(((hugs))) This is pretty much what happens to me when I'm having an attack, too. The pain is on par with labor pain, and I usually end up soaked with sweat because of the pain.

[Deleted]

Usually quick but since gallbladder surgery I have been a bit messed up. I'll have one ready to go, that one is quick but then there's waves of cramps and if I wait a few minutes there is another bit of poop. I understand long pops but that isn't every time for me.

[Deleted]

Trudy LOL@extended pooping!
DH's extended pooping drives me nuts too. 2 mins for me, TOPS.

[Regina Philange]

I love quick poops and the one wipe and done ones are heaven!

[Deleted]

Jan 9, 2013 2:49:45 GMT -5 greenkitty98 said:

Jan 8, 2013 20:36:20 GMT -5 @sprinkles said:

For me, I'm in so much pain that I have to sit there and at least try. Usually I'll sit for a few minutes until the pain lets up, then I go lay down. Back in there after like 10 mins. And then back out. and back in. Thats what takes hours. Then finally I am able to go, but (tmi), then its horrible diarrhea and butt piss. Suuuuucks!

(((hugs))) This is pretty much what happens to me when I'm having an attack, too. The pain is on par with labor pain, and I usually end up soaked with sweat because of the pain.

I get all sweaty too, and I think that pain is worse than labor pain! But, I had an epi, so I obviously didn't feel it at 9-10 cm! But, lol, and this is kind of embarrassing I guess, but one of my 'attacks' put me into pre-term labor. I was having an attack when I realized I was having contractions every 10 minutes (hard to tell when you have horrible pain in that whole area anyway), and I was only 26 weeks. Then it ended up turning my ute highly sensitive to ANYTHING, which is why I had contractions all through my pregnancy after that.

[Deleted]

Jan 9, 2013 9:09:37 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Jan 8, 2013 20:09:59 GMT -5 @sprinkles said:

I've had constipation and stomach issues since birth. If I'm having an 'attack,' then it takes me a few hours. No joke. Thats also including immense amounts of pain, shaking, and sometimes throwing up. If I keep up on my miralax, then I can finally fit in the quick pooper category! But generally, its no less than 15-20 minutes...

Dooooooood! Same here. You need to look into flax seed, that shit saved my LYFE! I had MAJOR problems during and after chemo and was put on a drug called Amitiza. Do you see a gastro for this problem?

Yeah I did. I've had colonoscopies, and other than a colon that is almost useless, I'm fine I guess. They said I need to take something like miralax or stool softeners to help me go for the rest of my life, or (and they actually told me this), they can remove my entire colon. Um, I'd rather deal with this than deal with a colostomy bag. NO THANKS! And now I am really intrigued by this flax seed. Tell me more about it!!

[laurack]

I am fast usually, sometimes I try to "take my time" to have a longer break/leave hubs with the baby, but my legs and stuff start to go numb if I sit there!