In your Opinion (re: modesty)

[musiclover]

When should you teach modesty?
Is Devon pow around?

Adam is 4 now and still loves to run around naked in our home, and has no issue at all flaunting his privates. We are raising him to believe that we should not be ashamed of our bodies, we use proper names for body parts, we openly talk about our bodies, and all of that stuff. I just feel like he is getting older/looking older and I wonder if it's time to have him become a little more modest about it? Thoughts?

PS: I was telling DH that I feel like A's parts are always right in front of me lately, such as bathtime, and when he is getting dressed.
DH told me to ask you ladies what you thought, lol.

[Deleted]

I'm curious to see the answers.

I was always naked in front of my parents... probably older than 4-5 (like, taking a bath and changing and stuff). Then I was only naked in front of my mom, then eventually no one. I feel like its nbd for a little kid to change in front of family. Like, when I'm at my sisters house, my niece and nephew will just change in the living room or where ever they are (not naked, but just in their underwear). I don't think its weird really, idk. But my DH's family, they are starting to not change my neice who will be 3 in Feb, in front of anyone. I think THATS weird, just because.. like, well who cares? She's little?

[Deleted]

I tried to type out my opinion then deleted it....twice. I'm just gonna go with, I don't know.

[charlielove]

In our home, with just our family, it is FINE for her to run around naked before bath time. I want her to be comfortable with her body. She still sees me dress/undress, but not DH. I talk to her often while she is taking a bath/shower/on the potty that people outside of me, DH, Charlotte, my mom and her auntie should not see body parts that cannot be covered by a swim suit.

[Deleted]

Jan 9, 2013 12:37:40 GMT -5 hoodyhoo said:

I tried to type out my opinion then deleted it....twice. I'm just gonna go with, I don't know.

Its a really complicated subject. I don't want Camden to feel like its okay to just undress in front of anyone or be naked, but I also don't want him to be super embarrassed about it as a child, ya know? I really don't know..

[musiclover]

He has been laying down in tub a lot lately, and I just feel like his T&B are right in my face :-| , CH.
He also likes to explore his body, maybe i'll just try to have him do that in private. I suppose that would help. I grew up in a home where no one ever walked around naked.

[Deleted]

Jan 9, 2013 12:39:14 GMT -5 charlielove said:

In our home, with just our family, it is FINE for her to run around naked before bath time. I want her to be comfortable with her body. She still sees me dress/undress, but not DH. I talk to her often while she is taking a bath/shower/on the potty that people outside of me, DH, Charlotte, my mom and her auntie should not see body parts that cannot be covered by a swim suit.

I like that. I'll probably copy that once Cam's at that age!

[Deleted]

A kid I babysit ran around naked in front of me until he was 7! He didn't care at all! Now--- he is 10 and he stopped doing this on his own.

[thedahliharpa]

Sometimes H will ask for privacy sometimes she a naked whirling durbish. We try to be more insistent on requesting privacy when WE are going to the bathroom. We make her keep her clothes on when anyone other than grandparents are over. It just seems to be happening gradually.

[devonpow]

Oh my God, Henry's favorite thing to do is "the naked dance" around our house. He is crazy about being naked. I thought a more natural modesty would have occured by now, but....no. We are working on him respecting other people's modesty (so he knows not to come in when I am dressing, or to open the bathroom door when someone is in there), being careful in public (this past summer changing into bathing suits at the park discreetly, etc was a big thing), etc. At home if he wants to dance naked for a bit prior to his bath, etc no big deal, but we do encourage underwear after a certain point. We are also deep in the throes of a lot of talks about private parts, stranger danger, etc.

[charlielove]

Jan 9, 2013 12:40:11 GMT -5 musiclover said:

He has been laying down in tub a lot lately, and I just feel like his T&B are right in my face , CH.
He also likes to explore his body, maybe i'll just try to have him do that in private. I suppose that would help. I grew up in a home where no one ever walked around naked.

At his age, you can tell him that touching his private parts is something he can do in private in his room, or in the bathroom, but not infront of people. Reassure him that it is fine to explore, but it is a private thing.

[Deleted]

Jan 9, 2013 12:40:24 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Also, I liked my sister to sit in the bathroom and talk to me while I took a bath even up through high school.

LOL. My sister and I used to do the same thing. When she was pregnant with my nephew (6 years ago), she needed to take a hot bath to relieve pregnancy pain, and I sat in there with her to keep her company. haha.

[dixeedeluxe]

Hmmm, I don't know! This is something I'll try to address when it becomes an issue.

My gut is that I don't care. I think puberty would be the cut-off for this sort of thing. But, I also think they'll come upon the decision themselves by that time.

I also have two girls and I only have sisters. That's where my perspective comes from. I don't know if my gut would change if I had boys and girls or came from a family of mixed sex siblings.

[Deleted]

We had times when it was ok to be naked. Like before bath, for about 20 minutes in the morning and it was always ok to be naked in your room.

[musiclover]

Jan 9, 2013 12:41:44 GMT -5 devonpow said:

Oh my God, Henry's favorite thing to do is "the naked dance" around our house. He is crazy about being naked. I thought a more natural modesty would have occured by now, but....no. We are working on him respecting other people's modesty (so he knows not to come in when I am dressing, or to open the bathroom door when someone is in there), being careful in public (this past summer changing into bathing suits at the park discreetly, etc was a big thing), etc. At home if he wants to dance naked for a bit prior to his bath, etc no big deal, but we do encourage underwear after a certain point. We are also deep in the throes of a lot of talks about private parts, stranger danger, etc.

Yay, I was dying to hear your response, I think your oldest is a year ahead of mine. Agreed, with all of you ladies, we too are working more on him respecting our privacy. Adam also LOVES the "Nudie dance" before his bath, he is just so skinny and adorable that it's hard not to find it adorable. I just find it tough when he explores himself right in front of me. I think you are right though, perhaps with age just naturally comes modesty. We too have had the talk about strangers, bad touches, and the 911 talk lately.

[musiclover]

Jan 9, 2013 12:47:14 GMT -5 @therealmc said:

Fun story...when we went to Ireland in September, we went to this indoor water park they have. We kept telling Dylan over and over again that if he had to pee to let us know. He got out of our site for a second and when we rounded the corner he had his shorts down and was about to pee on this statue thing. Thankfully we got to him in time but this kid has ZERO modesty.

We are trying to tell him when its appropriate vs not, especially now that he has a sister that doesn't his franks and beans in her face. He gets it a little bit but he still loves being naked. We aren't really stressing about it so hopefully he starts to understand more sooner than later.

Funny story, and LOL at the above. Adam loves peeing in public too, oh little boys

[thedahliharpa]

Musicl, in regards to self exploration H goes through phases. For awhile she was like Al Bundy in front of the TV. We talked about stuff ,Ike that being o.k. but in private. Typically though I would offer a distraction.

[dixeedeluxe]

Jan 9, 2013 12:41:44 GMT -5 devonpow said:

We are working on him respecting other people's modesty

I like this. It sounds like something that can be more of a discussion than a lecture.

[musiclover]

Jan 9, 2013 12:51:11 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

Musicl, in regards to self exploration H goes through phases. For awhile she was like Al Bundy in front of the TV. We talked about stuff ,Ike that being o.k. but in private. Typically though I would offer a distraction.

when he first did it, I made it clear that it's totally cool to explore our own bodies. Now, he is doing it so much more and often tells me, "Mom, I'm just exploring", it's hard not to laugh. I think I'll just reassure him that it's normal, but perhaps it's best not to do it right in front of my face, ha. This stuff is just too funny, I'm sure the FTMs are like :-| :-| :-| :-| :-| :-|
Maybe it's different too because he is a boy, and I have different parts?

[Deleted]

I don't think there is any set age, but there is definitely an age where most people would assume it's inappropriate and I think Juliana at 5 is right at that point. We talk to her about boy/girl nakedness and only touching yourself in private and that nobody else should see or touch you there except mommy (cleaning/bathing) or the doctor. I think you just have to kind of lead them as you see it's necessary.

[thedahliharpa]

Jan 9, 2013 12:52:51 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Jan 9, 2013 12:51:11 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

Musicl, in regards to self exploration H goes through phases. For awhile she was like Al Bundy in front of the TV. We talked about stuff ,Ike that being o.k. but in private. Typically though I would offer a distraction.

loll

I always hate when we talk about stuff like this, b/c it makes me think that I must have played with myself in front of my parents when I was little too, and well.. I don't like to think about that.

Haha, yeah it is little things like that which make me appreciate my parents just a little more.
The touching herself didn't bug me as much as the touch stuff after herself. I was always looking for ways to get her to wash her hands without associating it with being dirty. "Hey, let's go wash hand and have a snack!". :-)

[musiclover]

Jan 9, 2013 13:02:04 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

Jan 9, 2013 12:52:51 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

loll

I always hate when we talk about stuff like this, b/c it makes me think that I must have played with myself in front of my parents when I was little too, and well.. I don't like to think about that.

Haha, yeah it is little things like that which make me appreciate my parents just a little more.
The touching herself didn't bug me as much as the touch stuff after herself. I was always looking for ways to get her to wash her hands without associating it with being dirty. "Hey, let's go wash hand and have a snack!". :-)

haha, awesome.

[livinreality]

We have a bathroom/ upstairs rule (i.e. no naked bodies running through the living room), we also talk about privates and such potty talk in the bathroom because my son was potty training and told everyone at walmart he had a peepee and mommy had a different peeppee... so fun. Naked isn't bad isn't bad in our house it is just not always appropriate.

Yesterday we were home all day (with no company) so when DS1 said he did not want to get dressed I let him run around in his underwear all day, I just did not need to see him naked ALL day, with the boys and DH I feel like I could run a nudist colony... so I understand.