My SIL and I already tell eachother we don't get eachother. She's been in higher education and working her butt off in her career and she's happy. I'm happy being a young mom and wife. Totally different worlds. I'm sure she feels like I'm missing out, just like I feel like she is.
This is getting tiresome. Is your SIL happy in her station in life? Than she is not missing out. Just like you are happy, so you aren't missing out. People want different things out of life, and that's fine. Not everyone wants the life you have.
It is getting tiresome, because no matter how many times I try to explain myself... no one is getting it. Probably because I'm horrible at clarifying, but still.
I get that. Ernie and others already said that. But that doesn't mean I can't THINK that she is, and she can't THINK that I am. I know I am not missing out, and she knows she's not. But I have a child, and since I love it... I THINK other people are missing out? Get it? That in no way means I think badly of her, or others like it because they don't WANT to have kids. I just love being a mom, so I still feel like those who aren't are missing out on the things I described in posts above. I get its two sided... I am simply stating MY side
No one has a problem with your age. Just your lack of ability to imagine that someone else might want completely different things and be satisfied with those things.
Post by creamsiclechica on Jan 10, 2013 14:14:57 GMT -5
I think it's all about preference, girls. There's a lot of people grateful they waited so long to have children, others grateful they had them so young, just like they always wanted. I think it's unfair to say that someone has lived too much prebaby that it makes them have more to "miss," or that someone hasn't lived enough. In a lot of ways, we live the life we choose. It seems like most of us are pretty happy with our stages in life. There's advantages and disadvantages to having children sooner or later.
No one has a problem with your age. Just your lack of ability to imagine that someone else might want completely different things and be satisfied with those things.
Yes. This. It's not about age. It's just a strange concept to have an issue with people choosing to live their lives differently than you and still be happy.
You guys make me paranoid about my chest-clipping skills.
Sent from my iPad using ProBoards app
lol, I am actually just talking out of my ass. It just seems like a kid could get hurt from an improperly placed clip in a crash. Kind of like how we are supposed to wear our lap belts on our laps, not our stomach/pelvis.
LOL. I actually do think of the board when I strap L in. I'm like with all this chest clip talk I fucking hope I'm doing this right. he's a squirmer. It takes me about 10 minutes to get him buckled and everything in the right spot.
Okay, since no one gets me. If someone says, "Omg, I can't believe you haven't gone on a cruise, you are SO missing out!!" ... thats wrong to say, because what if the person doesn't have any interest in going on a cruise? I dont get why I'm getting the crap beat out of me for stating my opinion on this...
People who do not want to go on cruises generally do not have that decision questioned by everyone in their life, as if that choice makes them a defective human. Or suggests that at some point, their biological cruise clock will kick in and override their conscious desires. Or suggest to them that they don't know their own mind. Or that they will seriously regret their decision to never go on a cruise later in life. I think cruises sound fucking terrible, but no one gives me shit about it. However, those who choose to remain childless face stigma at every turn. Your statement sounded condescending, which is why I had an issue with it. People who know what they want and go after it are generally satisfied, as you are with your choices.
Okay, since no one gets me. If someone says, "Omg, I can't believe you haven't gone on a cruise, you are SO missing out!!" ... thats wrong to say, because what if the person doesn't have any interest in going on a cruise? I dont get why I'm getting the crap beat out of me for stating my opinion on this...
My SIL and I already tell eachother we don't get eachother. She's been in higher education and working her butt off in her career and she's happy. I'm happy being a young mom and wife. Totally different worlds. I'm sure she feels like I'm missing out, just like I feel like she is.
This is getting tiresome. Is your SIL happy in her station in life? Than she is not missing out. Just like you are happy, so you aren't missing out. People want different things out of life, and that's fine. Not everyone wants the life you have.
I wrote something, then discarded. You are more polite than I am.
Ernie's right: It ain't about your age, Sprinkles. How often does this pattern happen with you in these threads? All.the.time.
I think it's all about preference, girls. There's a lot of people grateful they waited so long to have children, others grateful they had them so young, just like they always wanted. I think it's unfair to say that someone has lived too much prebaby that it makes them have more to "miss," or that someone hasn't lived enough. In a lot of ways, we live the life we choose. It seems like most of us are pretty happy with our stages in life. There's advantages and disadvantages to having children sooner or later.
Exactly. I'm so glad we aren't in a fight anymore my little creamsicle pop.
I LOVE my son, but I never ever wanted kids. I'm pretty sure that's an UO around here. I was not one of those little girls who wanted to be a mommy or even a teacher. In general I don't really like kids. I had a carreer and a good life. Then on top of that I got married and ended up raising my step-son from the age of 11 to the present(19). That was rough, he was a crazy kid, made some terrible choices, and it was heartbreaking to watch. I never wanted to risk going through that again. Then I got pregnant as a thirty something, and I am OVERJOYED to be with my beautiful baby, but I still mourn the life that we had planned for ourselves. So, I've kind of lived both sides of that coin and I can't say that one side is better than the other. It's just a very personal choice.
My intentions are not to have you feel like you are having the crap beat out of you, just trying to give you some perspective. It didn't work.
Never does...her life is a giant squishy bubble that she refuses to let anyone pop. Therefore instead of learning new perspectives she just walks out of a thread disregarding any new knowledge she was offered.
I have a 4 yr degree that is getting me nowhere right now. Makes me regret my choice in degree. TONS of nursing jobs in my area but I hate to start all over.
I feed jarred food. I BLW some, but she doesn't always do great with it.
I never read Harry Potter. I enjoyed the movies though.
Sprinkles. How often does this pattern happen with you in these threads? All.the.time.
I think the last time this happened was about Santa, and the fact that so many people freaked out about not having your kid believe in Santa was kind of ridiculous IMHO
This is getting tiresome. Is your SIL happy in her station in life? Than she is not missing out. Just like you are happy, so you aren't missing out. People want different things out of life, and that's fine. Not everyone wants the life you have.
I wrote something, then discarded. You are more polite than I am.
Ernie's right: It ain't about your age, Sprinkles. How often does this pattern happen with you in these threads? All.the.time.
Gah!
Sent from the future.
A lot. And I didn't think anyone was attacking me for my age. I didn't get why you guys didn't understand, even a LITTLE bit, where I was coming from because WE ARE ALL MOMS! I am really upset about this now because I feel like everyone thinks I'm a huge douchebag and can't understand other peoples perspectives. I can. I am just horrible at clarifying and writing good responses.
Okay, since no one gets me. If someone says, "Omg, I can't believe you haven't gone on a cruise, you are SO missing out!!" ... thats wrong to say, because what if the person doesn't have any interest in going on a cruise? I dont get why I'm getting the crap beat out of me for stating my opinion on this...
People who do not want to go on cruises generally do not have that decision questioned by everyone in their life, as if that choice makes them a defective human. Or suggests that at some point, their biological cruise clock will kick in and override their conscious desires. Or suggest to them that they don't know their own mind. Or that they will seriously regret their decision to never go on a cruise later in life. I think cruises sound fucking terrible, but no one gives me shit about it. However, those who choose to remain childless face stigma at every turn. Your statement sounded condescending, which is why I had an issue with it. People who know what they want and go after it are generally satisfied, as you are with your choices.
This is certainly true. But the reciprocal is also true that a stigma exists that those (especially in today's current society) who get married and have children very young are "missing out" on so many life experiences. it is also implied often in our society that such individuals never lived at all. I think this is also as unfair as those who are constantly questioned and scrutinized for having kids later or never. I feel there's no happy medium, unless you wait until 30 to get married, wait until 34 to procreate, all whilst traveling, educating yourself, and enjoying socially defined "finer" things in life. And while that is certainly okay, and perfectly reasonable for some, it's not universally wanted by all. I think we just allow way too much scrutiny in general for people's lifestyle choices. I think it's also generally normal if you are extremely happy in life to feel sympathetic towards others who don't know your particular brand of joy. On all sides.
I wrote something, then discarded. You are more polite than I am.
Ernie's right: It ain't about your age, Sprinkles. How often does this pattern happen with you in these threads? All.the.time.
Gah!
Sent from the future.
A lot. And I didn't think anyone was attacking me for my age. I didn't get why you guys didn't understand, even a LITTLE bit, where I was coming from because WE ARE ALL MOMS! I am really upset about this now because I feel like everyone thinks I'm a huge douchebag and can't understand other peoples perspectives. I can. I am just horrible at clarifying and writing good responses.
Being a mom doesn't give you a free pass to believe that your way of life is the only acceptable one. Just fartin'.
I wrote something, then discarded. You are more polite than I am.
Ernie's right: It ain't about your age, Sprinkles. How often does this pattern happen with you in these threads? All.the.time.
Gah!
Sent from the future.
A lot. And I didn't think anyone was attacking me for my age. I didn't get why you guys didn't understand, even a LITTLE bit, where I was coming from because WE ARE ALL MOMS! I am really upset about this now because I feel like everyone thinks I'm a huge douchebag and can't understand other peoples perspectives. I can. I am just horrible at clarifying and writing good responses.
You dig and dig and dig, that's why.
But even I don't think you're a douchebag. I do think you can be really naive, though.
People who do not want to go on cruises generally do not have that decision questioned by everyone in their life, as if that choice makes them a defective human. Or suggests that at some point, their biological cruise clock will kick in and override their conscious desires. Or suggest to them that they don't know their own mind. Or that they will seriously regret their decision to never go on a cruise later in life. I think cruises sound fucking terrible, but no one gives me shit about it. However, those who choose to remain childless face stigma at every turn. Your statement sounded condescending, which is why I had an issue with it. People who know what they want and go after it are generally satisfied, as you are with your choices.
This is certainly true. But the reciprocal is also true that a stigma exists that those (especially in today's current society) who get married and have children very young are "missing out" on so many life experiences. it is also implied often in our society that such individuals never lived at all. I think this is also as unfair as those who are constantly questioned and scrutinized for having kids later or never. I feel there's no happy medium, unless you wait until 30 to get married, wait until 34 to procreate, all whilst traveling, educating yourself, and enjoying socially defined "finer" things in life. And while that is certainly okay, and perfectly reasonable for some, it's not universally wanted by all. I think we just allow way too much scrutiny in general for people's lifestyle choices. I think it's also generally normal if you are extremely happy in life to feel sympathetic towards others who don't know your particular brand of joy. On all sides.
Maybe it's the Bible Belt, but no one gave me crap about getting married at 21. Also, I was not bucking the heteronormative societal standards, and neither are any other young wives and moms. But those who choose to remain childless are bucking a LOT of socialization and stereotypes about what it means to be a woman. They are literally seen as defective women. In our heteronormative, patriarchal society, the two choices don't even begin to compare, even if I did get a little shit for my choices.
A lot. And I didn't think anyone was attacking me for my age. I didn't get why you guys didn't understand, even a LITTLE bit, where I was coming from because WE ARE ALL MOMS! I am really upset about this now because I feel like everyone thinks I'm a huge douchebag and can't understand other peoples perspectives. I can. I am just horrible at clarifying and writing good responses.
Being a mom doesn't give you a free pass to believe that your way of life is the only acceptable one. Just fartin'.
OH my gosh. Now please, WHEN did I say that it was the only acceptable one?! Come on now. That is a low blow.
Post by Regina Philange on Jan 10, 2013 14:29:33 GMT -5
It's her beliefs. She is allowed to have them. She did not intentionally insult anyone here who doesn't have children which is why she posted them here rather than tell it to her SIL since you guys have kids too.
She thinks that since having Camden she has fulfilled her life so much more and I don't really think there's anything wrong with that.