Moms of Preemies

[orriskitten]

DH's co-worker's wife just had her daughter at 23 weeks. The baby is doing okay, but obviously she is in for a long NICU stay.

DH's co-workers are trying to help in any way they can. I volunteered us to make some freezer meals and suggested to DH that they should make a pool to get a seamless web or food delivery gift card.

What meals would you have most wanted during those times?

What else can you think of that we can do for them?

I cannot imagine going through this. Hugging my baby extra, extra tight tonight.

[ruby412]

Whoa. 23 weeks sounds very scary. I hope she is okay. What did they name her?

[imimahoney]

Oh, how sad and scary.

If they are driving to the hospital a lot how about gas gift cards. Or if they are taking the subway, unlimited metro cards? Also, I would do gc's to restaurants right next to the hospital so they don't have to travel far to eat.

[rjamz]

Jan 10, 2013 21:01:29 GMT -5 imimahoney said:

Oh, how sad and scary.

If they are driving to the hospital a lot how about gas gift cards. Or if they are taking the subway, unlimited metro cards? Also, I would do gc's to restaurants right next to the hospital so they don't have to travel far to eat.

I'm so sorry they're going through this. I second all of Imimahoney's ideas. Also, maybe if it's in budget, chip in to hire a cleaning lady to come a couple of times? I can imagine the last thing they would want to do after coming home from the hospital is clean

[mrsjaymay]

That is so scary. I wish her lots of growing big and strong vibes! We had friends who had 26 week twins and they really appreciated gift cards to fast food places and gas cards since they were going back and forth to the hospital so much.

[raynes]

Oh wow, that's scary early.

I think imimahoney's ideas l sound great.

[orriskitten]

Thanks for the suggestions! I tools dh and he is going to share with his team at work.

Her name is Emma. They have a lot of hope for her even though she is so tiny.


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[Deleted]

My twin nephews were born at 27 weeks, and they appreciated gas cards, parking passes to the hospital and coffee shop/restaurant gift cards that were close to the hospital or home. I also like the cleaning lady suggestion.

[jaime183]

Look into the website mealtrain to coordinate meals

[Deleted]

Going into a meeting, but I have lots of ideas. Will reply this afternoon.

[careyalis]

That is scary! I hope Emma keeps doing well. My best friend did a 5 month stint in the nicu. and she really appreciated gift cards to places that were in the hospital because she pretty much never left. Maybe check and see what fast food places are on the grounds and get some gift cards for those places.

[orriskitten]

Jan 11, 2013 10:22:19 GMT -5 careyalis said:

That is scary! I hope Emma keeps doing well. My best friend did a 5 month stint in the nicu. and she really appreciated gift cards to places that were in the hospital because she pretty much never left. Maybe check and see what fast food places are on the grounds and get some gift cards for those places.

I have DH doing this and checking that there are a lot of options for seamless web near the hospital. Where I delivered, you could have food delivered to the unit you were in so she wouldn't have to leave if she didn't want to.

Keep those suggestions coming! And thank you all!!

[christidee]

If they have another child at home, maybe free babysitting would good. I also agree with the cleaning service. That sounds amazing. I'd even look into a laundry service too.

[christidee]

Oh, and a dog walker if they have a dog too. I think the more things that are taken care of already at the house would be the best.

[mala]

I like cleaning service, but also laundry service so they don't have to worry about making sure they have clean clothes.

[mala]

Jan 11, 2013 11:11:45 GMT -5 christidee said:

If they have another child at home, maybe free babysitting would good. I also agree with the cleaning service. That sounds amazing. I'd even look into a laundry service too.

Great minds think alike!

[orriskitten]

Will mention laundry service, too!

This is their first baby and I do not think they have any pets to care for.

[Deleted]

Hi, wow, my heart goes out to your friend right now. Emma sounds like such a little fighter. How much does she weigh? I don't have a lot of experiences with micro preemies, but I obviously know a lot about life in the NICU. To say it's a long road and an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. To be honest, Emma will more than likely spend about 100 days in the NICU. And, your friend will probably be stretched thin on so many levels. She's so lucky to have a friend like you!

Things that I loved....
- Healthy Meals-- Gift cards to local restaurants are nice, but to be honest, after 30+ days of eating Panera and Jimmy Johns, I craved a home-cooked healthy meal. I had several people who brought over meal size containers of things that I could either microwave (they have these in the NICU for families) or freeze to use later.
- Fresh Fruit- A coworker sent me a basket of fruit at about day 25 and it was like Gold. After eating granola bars and other "on the go" items, Hubby & I thought it was amazing to grab a banana on the way out.
- Money to pay for parking - Believe it or not, most hospitals don't offer a discount, so we were paying $12.50/day just to park at the hospital.
- Gift card to online baby store- I had barely done any pre-baby shopping, so several people sent me gift cars to Amazon or Albee Baby which I ordered the essentials on. I didn't even have diapers, wipes, a car seat, baby soap, etc. Plus, I felt good about preparing for H to come home. But, I didn't' want to find time to got to BBB or BRU.
- Preemie Clothing - A friend of mine sent me a few outfits and it was such an awesome surprise. Emma probably won't be able to wear any for a while, but once she's ready, I'm sure it would come in handy. It felt really good to finally dress H when he was in the hospital. It made me feel like a real mom. Carters online has a good selection. Only snaps, no zippers (cords need to be able to come out around the chest).
- Also, is Emma's hospital close to the family home? If not, gift cards to stay at local hotels would be nice.
- Pay for a professional photographer to come to the NICU. Most of the photos I have of H during his first 44 days are really crappy. Most were taken on my cell phone and the lighting was dim so they are not good. I so wish that I would have considered this.

Offers to help... (These are probably more valuable than any gift that I could have ever received).
- Laundry- My mom did our laundry several times b/c I didn't want to spend precious hours away from H
- Cleaning- Love the idea that someone already suggested. My house was a complete & total disaster
- Help with the Nursery- We already had painted & assembled furniture, but she may not have. So, offering to help with this would be huge.
- Offer to shovel snow
- Love the idea for babysitting if she has other children (and pets too!)
- Buying bras-- OK not sure how close you are with her, but the day I was discharged from the hospital, I was an emotional train wreck... I then had to go and buy nursing bras because I hadn't yet. It was horrible. I was sore & tired and looked like shit. If you could ask her size, buy a dozen or so & leave them at her home & let her decide. Then offer to return any that don't work. Same thing with the breast pump. I was a hot mess, no contacts so I couldn't even read the box.

Probably the best thing that happened to me were just simple text messages/cards letting me know that people were thinking about me & my family. It really meant a lot. I also started (and have kept up) a blog that extended family could view pics of H's growth (since they couldn't visit at the hospital). People said that they loved this.

Please send your friend to the ladies on TB's preemie board. They are awesome and I know several of them have micro preemies too. And, send me a PM if you think your friend would like to talk to another preemie mom. When H was in the NICU, the hospital had a program that "NICU graduates" and their families would come back to the hospital for a lunch. It was so wonderful to hear that people do move on and live happy normal lives. I'd be glad to talk to your friend or chat with her on FB. I also have tons of online resources, blogs, etc that are about preemies and support.

OK wow this is long, but I really hope it helps some. Keep us posted on little Emma & your friend. ((HUGS)) to them.