my update (long- sorry)

[bronxgirl]

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who was thinking of me and has offered support. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I would also like to apologize in advance at how long and rambling this may be.

On Wed we went in for a consult with our RE to talk about the net step. DH would probably have been okay giving up and just being one and done, but it's really important to me to have one more child, if possible. RE said that at this point IUI would probably not be effective and IVF would be the next indicated step. We thought we would not be able to afford it, but he told us about two possible options to modify the costs. One possibility is that we would likely qualify for "Compassionate Care" from their office which would put the cost around $7,000 (not including meds, but my insurance may partially cover them). Another possibility is that there **may** be funds available from a state grant which would put our costs around $5,000. I go in tomorrow to hand in our tax return b/c both of these programs are income based, but it sounds like we will qualify (yay being underpaid). My parents offered to help a little and our investment accounts are doing well so that would give us some money as well.
The bad news:
not quite bad, but frustrating- DH is very stressed out in general, mostly about work, but it's spilling over into other areas as well and although when he's calm and rational he's on board, but he gets stressed out and has been fighting with me and it's really getting me down. It seems like we're still going forward, but I'm not feeling hopeful and excited like I did when I left the consult b/c of how DH is acting. I may delete this last part, but for now I just had to get it out.

[KaraOrNot]

I am glad you have some options! Sorry you and H are having a hard time.

[lola]

Oh man, Bronx. Sorry about your H.

In god news, sounds like you have a workable plan and a few options which is great! How long will it be until you hear back on if you qualify for Compassionate Care/grant $$?

[Deleted]

Oh Bronx, I'm so happy you have options that you didn't think would be available! My fingers and toes are crossed that all goes well and you are able to qualify for one if not both of those programs.

I'm sorry to hear about YH, mine gets the same way when he's stressed and frustrated.

[changedname]

Bronx- I am so happy for you to possibly have those options - keep us updated if you are accepted!

Sorry about your H being stressed, that must be tough with all this going on too!

Did they give you a timeline for ivf if you are accepted on to one of the programs?

[ilovecandy]

yay for options! Sorry about your H being stressed.

[Cheesecake]

Sorry to hear about YH, but the good news is pretty awesome if that indeed puts you in the 'we can afford this' category.

Sending good getting accepted for the cheapest option and sorting things out with your H vibe!

[sunflower22]

That would be awesome if you could get some assistance w the IVF! Sorry your H is stressed, I'm sure he'll come around. We all have our moments, H's included!

[thoseareradishes]

That's great to hear that the IVF will be more affordable then you were expecting!

[glauren]

Hooray for IVF being less expensive than you thought!
Sorry about your H - mine handles stress in a similar way, and it can be frustrating.

[genet313]

So sorry Bronx. I'm sure he's just stressed over everything generally. I know it's hard not to think about it, and not want to discuss it, but I'd give him a little space right now. Maybe try to do whatever paperwork and investigation you can do yourself, and just leave him out of it for now? Then, approach him after he's had a few days to breathe.

[bronxgirl]

Thanks so much everyone. DH and i talked last night and we sorted everything out. I explained hoe everything works and the likely costs, as well as how we can pay for it based on our finances. We also talked about options for his career, how we will manage 2 kids, etc so he's feeling a lot calmer. Now we're on the same page and getting along well again. We went in this morning to go over the financials. It looks pretty likely that we will be getting the grant, in which case our OOP costs would be a little under $6,000. So, for now anyway, things are going well. Thanks again for your support.

[HoneySpider]

So glad to hear you have options, will continue to root for you guys!

[daisy24342]

It's great you have options! And I'm glad you and H sorted it out. Sometimes you just need time to process it apart before you can face it head on together. I know thats how we work, although can be frustrating at times!

[thoseareradishes]

Great to hear you H is feeling better about everything and you qualified for the grant

[jewel]

I'm happy to hear that you guys have a plan, and are on the same page now.

On to IVF!!! :-) Keep us updated.

[purpleme]

Glad to hear you have options....nice to hear you and dh talked things through...now onto the next step.....