BFing and working moms. A question.

[hass2001]

How are your MOTN wakes and feedings handled? Is it you 100% or does hubby help at all?

I work and get up 100% of the time. It's really draining!! I'm trying to figure out ways that DH can help. He works too and wakes very early for work, whereas I can sleep and extra 2 hours before I have to get up. But still...

[charlielove]

I work PT, but I'll answer. I do all MOTN wakings/feedings, and even if I worked FT I still would. Only because both girls would not/will not tolerate DH trying to rock them or soothe them back to sleep. Charlie just ends up getting more worked up and then it's just more work once I have to intervene. So it's not that he doesn't want to help, he just really can't.

[hass2001]

See, this is what I think will happen too. Sam would freak out if anyone but me tried to soothe her. I even put her down for her naps. To be honest, she is more comfortable with our parents putting her to sleep then she would be with my husband!!

[bean47]

Dh works 24 hour shifts but on the nights he is home he helps. He handles all wakes before midnight, I feed her anytime after 12 for her first feeding. After her first feeding he handles any wakes that are less than 3 hours since her last feed, otherwise I feed her. Initially, she would take forever crying when he went in but now, she settles better for him than me. If I bring the boobs it is all over!

[thedahliharpa]

Jan 12, 2013 0:07:52 GMT -5 charlielove said:

I work PT, but I'll answer. I do all MOTN wakings/feedings, and even if I worked FT I still would. Only because both girls would not/will not tolerate DH trying to rock them or soothe them back to sleep. Charlie just ends up getting more worked up and then it's just more work once I have to intervene. So it's not that he doesn't want to help, he just really can't.

This. I do encourage him to get up with her when she wakes for the day around 5:45 and change her so I can lay there for 3 minutes and not have to get out of the covers. He also has been able to, the past 2 nights, get her back down after early and unexpected wake ups. She has a cold so sleep has been tough. So, apparently if it is close enough to her bedtime feeding he is useful.

[BlueNotebook]

Up until last week I did 100% of them. DS still wakes 2 to 3 times to eat and another 2 or so just to fuss. He never puts himself back to sleep. I finally reached the end of my rope and now DH takes all wakings until he goes to bed at 11ish. That gives me at least two hours when I'm not on call. He will wake me if he thinks DS needs to eat but he tries everything to avoid that. Those few hours have made a world of difference for me and actually helped get rid of some resentment that was building towards DH.

[kdrake8]

We both are teachers. He has a MUCH easier time falling back asleep after wake ups... If I get out of bed I'm pretty screwed. So here's what we do:

Baby cries. H gets up and gets her. I stay in bed and get set up to nurse (remove pj top, unlatch bra). He brings her to me and gets back in bed. 75+% of the time, he falls back asleep and sleeps while I nurse her back to drowsy (10-12 min). I let him know when she's ready and he gets up and puts her back.

Even doing this, he's still back asleep before I am. If I go and get her from the crib, I'm typically up 2-3 hours after than, no matter how tired I am.

[bellewithablade]

About a month ago, we started having my husband get up to soothe him instead of me. It actually works out better because if he sees me, he wants to eat. When DH goes in 9/10 times he falls right asleep. If he doesn't, he gets me and I feed Grayson.

[christidee]

I took care of all of the motn feedings with J. It sucked, but I would have had to pump anyways if DH helped, so it didn't seem worth it.

[lauranicole91]

I work a varying hours(sometimes morning shifts sometimes night shifts) part time, but I will answer.
Every single MOTN wake up/feeding ever in this house is taken on by both DH and I. He gets up, changes her diaper, brings her to me to feed, and then I lay her back down. If she refuses sleep after a feeding DH goes in with her.
Not really middle of the night wake up related but Pey is usually awake by 5:30am or 6am for the day. My alarm for work doesn't go off until 7am; so on mornings I work DH gets up with her while I sleep until my alarm goes off. Vise versa for when DH does goes in in the morning, I get up with her for the day at 5:30am or 6am. It's only fair.
I hope you can catch a break!

[Deleted]

I do MOTN wakings because if she wakes up she wants to eat. She also only does none to one a night.

[spaghetticat]

My situation is pretty similar to Bean's. MH isn't around half of the week, but even if he is, I do almost all of the wakeups. Lately, if she gets up prior to 1, I ask him to go in and try to soothe her. If I go in and rub her back, she screams louder. If he does it, she usually goes back to sleep.

[bean47]

Jan 12, 2013 11:11:04 GMT -5 spaghetticat said:

My situation is pretty similar to Bean's. MH isn't around half of the week, but even if he is, I do almost all of the wakeups. Lately, if she gets up prior to 1, I ask him to go in and try to soothe her. If I go in and rub her back, she screams louder. If he does it, she usually goes back to sleep.

Does she wake differently on the nights your DH works? I'm convinced she wakes earlier when he's at work, knowing I'll come in and just feed her since my attempts to settle her back to sleep are useless. When he's home she almost always sleeps until at least 12 (the earliest I feed her) but when he's at work she often wakes at 11:00. Maybe it's just me being sleep deprived, babies don't plot against us right?

[vthokie]

Jan 12, 2013 10:49:53 GMT -5 bellewithablade said:

About a month ago, we started having my husband get up to soothe him instead of me. It actually works out better because if he sees me, he wants to eat. When DH goes in 9/10 times he falls right asleep. If he doesn't, he gets me and I feed Grayson.

This too. If she sees me, she wants boob whether she needs it or not. He can shush her to sleep sometimes. If she's starving it's pretty evident and lately we trade off. I'll either nurse her or he'll give her a bottle. I hate getting up because I can't get back to sleep after

[rxbeth]

I'm not back at work yet but I'll let you know what is working for us.

Madison was a great sleeper until a cold and teething hit. Then she was getting up 2-3 times a night. We have since started having DH go in and try to soothe first because I am way less patient and will just give the breast. He is much better at falling back asleep so it isn't that big a deal for him. If he can't get her down (has not happened yet) he'll come get me.

[Deleted]

Me 100%.. Even if he has the next day off :/

[Deleted]

Dh tries to take "first shift"-so he goes in if Thad wakes before 2. It is a crap shoot because the guy sleeps like a fucking rock so sometimes he just doesn't wake up. Dh will also help if it is a particularly trying night. And he will get up with him if he wakes up early. Basically, we try to make sure we both get at least six hours.

[Deleted]

DS is my overnight responsibility. I have the boobs. I choose to nurse so I choose to be up with him. If DH is still up, he will bring DS to me. Our arrangement also means that DH is responsible for most of DDs night wakings and early risings.

[spaghetticat]

Jan 12, 2013 11:18:28 GMT -5 bean47 said:

Jan 12, 2013 11:11:04 GMT -5 spaghetticat said:

My situation is pretty similar to Bean's. MH isn't around half of the week, but even if he is, I do almost all of the wakeups. Lately, if she gets up prior to 1, I ask him to go in and try to soothe her. If I go in and rub her back, she screams louder. If he does it, she usually goes back to sleep.

Does she wake differently on the nights your DH works? I'm convinced she wakes earlier when he's at work, knowing I'll come in and just feed her since my attempts to settle her back to sleep are useless. When he's home she almost always sleeps until at least 12 (the earliest I feed her) but when he's at work she often wakes at 11:00. Maybe it's just me being sleep deprived, babies don't plot against us right?

Hmm. I was thinking her wakings were all over the place, but now I'm going to pay closer attention to see if she's a scheming genius

[joyhart02]

Jan 12, 2013 14:25:39 GMT -5 @softskate31 said:

DS is my overnight responsibility. I have the boobs. I choose to nurse so I choose to be up with him. If DH is still up, he will bring DS to me. Our arrangement also means that DH is responsible for most of DDs night wakings and early risings.

Pretty much this. I do 100% of the night wakings but he gets up with dd1 since she usually wakes 1-2 times a night.

[Deleted]

I nurse her so I still have to get up for her. Lately it's turned into 2x a night again and it's getting to be a bit much. I think part of it has to do with the fact that she is teething again.