I hope I'm not being annoying. I really appreciate the support and advice and just like to get this all out.
Yesterday I called Pennsylvania's Protective Services for the Elderly and filed a report of Elder Abuse. It's pretty apparent to me that he is being abused in some shape or form and it might also aid me in getting POA since they will assess his mental state. Also, he has been struggling with money and they are going to look into his bank account and see what is going on. I sent him an $100 check a few weeks back and two days after he cashed it he "didn't have money." I spoke with my dad's neighbor who isn't "socially there" and easily manipulated and she told me that the Gold Digger got my dad to have the neighbor give the Gold Digger "hundreds of dollars." I can only imagine that my dad has given money too (also, when C was born he told me that he couldn't buy him a gift because he bought the Gold Diggers son clothes who she has since lost custody of).
The social worker called me yesterday and said my dad was absolutely refusing going to rehab for physical therapy. I called him and kind of ripped in (not hard, just honest, tough love). My mom died a few months after a rehab stint and I feel that she'd be alive to had she seen it through. I asked him not to do this me and Colin. He arrived at the rehab facility tonight! BABY STEPS.
My brother and his wife are now kind of getting involved which annoys me to some degree because my brother said that he wants POA and would eventually sign it over to me WTMF. Sorry, brother, you've lived 10 minutes from dad and have seen him maybe half a dozen times in 5 years. Not okay in my book. They did go pick him up some clothes at target so he has something at the facility. We were going to have stuff sent him to wear so this makes it a little easier on us.
We went and looked at assisted living today and I found the perfect facility for my dad. It's awesome and I'd love to live there. However starting base price is $2,800. I'll be damned if I can't make this work. I'm looking into pulling money out of my dads Life Insurance to get it paid for per the direction of the case worker at A Place for Mom. I need to get VA stuff started but that is going to be a bitch... Gah.
I also applied for Medicare for my dad last night.
I feel like we're taking baby steps in the right direction. Now I have to find a way to get all the paperwork completed and to get him down here. He would love it and I would love it. I so yearn to be near him and I think I will feel a little more fulfilled if he is here. It's not about me, obviously, but I think my dad will live out the rest of his life comfortably and surrounded my my little family who loves him so so much. I only hope he can be compliant and will see rehab through.
You're doing such a great job. I can't even imagine. My mom had to do all the same for my grandmother and its such a PITA. Big hugs for doing all you can to do the best by him. Hopefully this will all get easier soon.
wow you are doing a great job, you're an amazing daughter. I hope things go the way you want them to, I'm glad you were able to get in touch with so many resources.
Sounds like thing are starting to turn - baby steps is right. Just make it clear to your brother there is no way he will have POA - you are the one doing the work, you need to know what the deal is at all times. Good luck!
You really are doing a great job. I haven't read much of the responses from your previous posts so forgive me if that has been asked and answered but is it possible for him to come live with you until his funding comes through for the assisted living facility?
It is a possibility and something I would consider, definitely. My husband suggested it. However, I don't know that I am equipped to take care of him given they feel he might have dementia or Alzheimer's. Given that wasn't in question, I'd be much more apt to do this, yes. Combine all that with still being unsure about what's going on and still dealing with Colin's complications, I'm not sure I am really prepared to care for my dad. I know that sounds like a copout but my husband and I are young (25) and I'm not sure how much more we can take. I'll do anything for my dad and we will have a better idea of his state once he is assessed at the rehab facility and my the state protective services and can probably better figure out if moving him in would be an okay situation.
Post by lauranicole91 on Jan 12, 2013 20:56:12 GMT -5
Wow you sure are getting things done!! Go you!! It makes me happy to think he will be with you. For his sake and yours!! Hope things continue to look up for you all!!
Yay for progress. I think he'd be happier with you too and he could see Colin and be better cared for. I think the right nursing home/assisted living facility can be good. They took excellent care of my mom the few days she was in one.
Eav, you are doing a great job. I'm stressed out just reading about all of these hoops you have to jump through. So, I can only begin to imagine how you are feeling taking all of this on. I hope that you can find a plan that makes life easier for everyone and gets your dad settled. I appreciate reading all of your updates on this. Hang in there, lady.
I'm so glad to hear that things are moving along and looking up. I'm still sending up prayers of strength and wisdom for you, and healing for your dad.
Post by charlielove on Jan 12, 2013 23:19:07 GMT -5
I think that is a LOT of postive stuff going on, eav. It is baby steps, but had he not gone to the hospital, none of this would be happening, so it's good. I mean, I wish it could have happened another way obviously, but it's great that the ball is rolling on all of these things that may ultimately mean that Gold Digger is no longer a part of his life and he may be in a better place. You are doing a GREAT job being an advocate for your dad!
You are an amazing daughter eav. It sounds like you are making a lot of steps in the right direction. And you're definitely not annoying any of us!! I've been thinking of you!!