I bought formula.

[Deleted]

I don't know.. nursing is just getting so hard, mostly when we're out in public and I just feel like I'm not enjoying it as much anymore and she doesn't seem to care either, I mean she eats but sometimes it's a struggle to get her latched or undistracted enough. We don't have any cute cuddly moments (except MOTN) she just nurses for 1-4 minutes then wants down. Today we were out for a long time but I couldn't get her to eat-- I went to the mother's room and she latched on fine (because she was really hungry) but as soon as someone else walked in (30 seconds later) to change their baby she had to see what was going on. Once they left she was fine again until someone else came in. All the time she's distracted I'm leaking, then she wouldn't latch back on but was crying because she was hungry in that moment I decided I was going to buy some formula-- I have been thinking about this for a few weeks but I feel so guilty, I thought I wanted to go to at least a year but I just don't know.. I also would like if DH could do some MOTN bottles. ugh this is getting long,, the point is I bought formula today. But she hates it.

also the stupid formula container was messing with my guilt feeling by having huge bold letters BREASTMILK IS BEST FOR BABIES-- seriously? That sucks. What about people who CAN'T get give BM.

I don't feel like I want to wean completely, I do still enjoy it some and I know she does too (usually) I just feel torn and tired.

thanks for "listening"

[Deleted]

Listen lady. You have done amazing breastfeeding this long! It's becoming a struggle for a lot of us and many of us are deciding if bfing is still worth it, and the babes are deciding if they want to keep at it. Please don't beat yourself up if you decide to go with formula. You might end up with more cuddly moments if you are less anxious about feeding her.
Hugs, I know its hard.

Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G

[eav2c]

Can you mix formula and BM? Also, try side nursing if you haven't. I get you can't do that in public but it's the only way C will nurse anymore. It's frustrating sometimes but I get lots of cuddles and snuggly time with side laying. Since its the only position he will nurse in without getting distracted and spraying milk everywhere I have to plan out his feedings and when we go out but NBD.

FWIW: you're doing a great job and if now is the time for formula then it will be okay. You've gone 9 months! Go you, you fabulous momma! Also, I have tons of samples here if you want them.

[Deleted]

You could try pumping for daytime bottles if you don't want to quit providing BM. I gave up daytime nursing about a month ago. I pump 2x daily on weekends (like I do at work).

[Deleted]

I just wanted to add that when DS1 was this age we'd dropped to just 2-3 feedings per day because of this very issue. We would only nurse at home. NBD! Try not to stress, you can continue doing both if you want, formula & boob.

DS2 is more into boob than DS1 was, and I remember feeling worried and guilty about DS1 at this point. We didn't do formula but he ate a lot of food and like I said, only BF at home. In hindsight he probably should have had more BF or formula but I didn't realise. Oh well.

He would ABSOLUTELY not nurse while out and about. No friggen way. We had to be home, in his room, quiet, dark, no cats walking past, you name it.

[vthokie]

Aww. don't feel bad. A gets probably 1 formula bottle a day now. I had immense guilt about it, but now, it is what it is. She took to it pretty well. She won't nurse if she's distracted either, plus I had a few illnesses that killed my supply. Now, at least BFing isn't a stressor for me anymore. I know I can give her a bottle if I have to, or DH can.

Try mixing some BM and formula, or make sure she's really hungry wen you give it to her. She'll take to it.

[bebeetmoi]

Oh Ladybug I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I would really try not to load on the guilt either- your baby needs to be fed! She's a busy girl and she needs to eat, and right now, she's not doing a great job with the eating so as her mother you're exploring options and methods to get her what her body needs.
I agree with PPs, can you try to mix some formula with BM? Maybe you'll have more luck that way. Keep us updated but also don't rule out that this may be a (long lasting) phase.

[rainbowchip]

It was around this time that Dylan started doing the exact same thing. I was pretty much dried up by 11 months because he refused to nurse and I was slacking with my pumping. I talked to the pedi and she gave me the OK to start WCM early and he did fine with it.
That being said, when babies are hungry, they will eat. She will be fine whatever happens!

[lauranicole91]

When we are at home during the day the best way to nurse is me laying on the floor topless. She comes and goes, just kind of grazing. Do I miss the cuddling nursing sessions? Well sure. But seeing her climb all over me for some boob and then run back to her toys and then come back is hilarious and it makes it worth it again.

Also when we are out and about. I only feed in my car. Anywhere else is way too distracting to expect her to have a good nurse.

All those suggestions aside, if you are ready to start weaning a little it's no big deal. You've done great!!

[christidee]

I'm sorry you are struggling with this, but you have done and are doing a great job!

[wildcatprincess]

We're having the same nursing issues, but he won't take a bottle, either (maybe 2 oz and that's it) so I decided formula probably isn't worth it either. Like starbound said I've kind of just given up. He nurses 3-4 times a day, maybe 2 of them are "real" sessions. The others he just latches off and on for a couple mins, then whines to get down.

[erniebufflo]

That formulas canister saying "breast is best" seriously made me sob in the early days. You're an awesome mom, know that whatever you do.

[browneyedhunni85]

You are doing an amazing job! You should not feel sad about having to get her formula. As long as she is being fed there is no need to feel like you aren't a good momma. I wish I could have BF for even half of the time you did. Go momma!

[mumegs]

That effing canister sucks, I think I cried when I first saw it because I had to buy it when my supply tanked.
Honestly we are totally formula now and it's so much less stressful, at least for me because I was always worrying about supply issues and pumping. I am happy with how far we made it, we had a good run.

[jaime183]

I know how you feel! I EP and just bought formula last week for the first time. Once we used it for a few days I feel surprisingly good about it. The stress of my supply was worse.
I hope it's an ok experience for you. You EBF for this long which is amazing!

[laurack]

Aw you have done GREAT mama! The guilt is terrible. I really think it's unnecessary for them to put that message on formula containers, come on its not CIGARETTES you are feeding your baby. jeez.

[Deleted]

Thank you so much everyone. I really do love this board I will definitely try the suggestions everyone had but I also think trying not to stress is a big one. I think with the stress and the lack of sleep I was just getting to lo worn down.

Lauranicole: after you posted your picture of her nursing while standing over you, I tried it a few times and she was just like "uhh mom, what the heck are you doing?" Haha but I love that pey nurses like that! So cute!

[laurack]

I tried the her standing up nursing thing too! She went for it, but after about a minute I was like... hmm this isn't that comfortable, wish I was laying on the couch like usual instead.. ha.

[carawestt]

I'm sorry! I've witnessed first hand how distracted D gets while nursing, so I know exactly how frustrated you are. But try not to be so hard on yourself. If you do end up weaning, just remember that you've made it 9 long months; that's GREAT! If you need to talk (or just vent), you have my number

[rxbeth]

Oh, sweetie, you're doing a great job. Please don't feel bad. I think you've gotten some good advice from the ladies above (pump and feed during the day, or give BM mixed with formula) so I will just offer hugs.

Also, I went on the formula websites to sign up for formula samples so that I could get checks for friends who are FF and a pop up smacked me in the face saying 'breast is best'. As a BFing mother, that made me gasp and made my heart hurt. Not everyone wants to BF and it doesn't always work out for those that do. I mean, I get the sentiment but believe that having those 'warnings' on containers and websites is inappropriate.

[thedahliharpa]

I'm sorry things are tough right now. This can be a HARD age to nurse through. I feel like no one warns moms about this age. Everyone knows the newborn stuff can be a doozy but after that I think there is this idea it just works out. Instead of feeling down I would try to see this as just one more stage in the evolution of your nursing relationship. Formula doesn't tarnish that. FWIW the dwindling of the cuddle bug nursing sessions is totally normal, and a bit sad. This is why am/pm sessions dominate extended breastfeeding.

Do you still have a stash? I would discuss having your DH give a MOTN bottle regardless of what it is. I know you are burnt out.
Did you give her regular cows milk based formula? I'm so happy that the dairy re-intro went well for you!

[hass2001]

Jan 14, 2013 1:48:55 GMT -5 ladybug said:

I also would like if DH could do some MOTN bottles.

This is one reason I would like to do formula for the next baby!!

You should not feel down on yourself at all. You did great. And still can! Who says you have to give up BFing? Try the formula, who knows, maybe she wont even like it and she will go back to BFing as usual. I find that Sam is very distracted BFing as well. I have to go into a dark, quiet room to feed her now. I don't even attempt to BF in public because I know it will be a mess. Good luck with what you decide. And remember she will thrive no matter what decision you make.

[lauranicole91]

I don't place her in the standing nursing position. It started out as me laying on my side and I'd sit her on her butt next to me. She'd then turn her head and latch. Then one day she got squirmy and it slowly turned into climbing and standing etc.

Like I said, now I just chill on the floor topless and she comes and goes as she pleases. Haha. Works great as long as company isn't over. Haha.

[eav2c]

Jan 14, 2013 9:42:05 GMT -5 erniebufflo said:

That formulas canister saying "breast is best" seriously made me sob in the early days. You're an awesome mom, know that whatever you do.

Wait. They really say that??? That angers me. I have EBF but I would use formula if needed and the last thing a woman needs is to feel guilt for feeding her child. That is kind of disgusting and saddening. I'm sorry Ernie. You have done the best for your girls and I hope that the saying on the can doesn't bug you anymore.

[erniebufflo]

Jan 14, 2013 13:58:58 GMT -5 eav2c said:

Jan 14, 2013 9:42:05 GMT -5 erniebufflo said:

That formulas canister saying "breast is best" seriously made me sob in the early days. You're an awesome mom, know that whatever you do.

Wait. They really say that??? That angers me. I have EBF but I would use formula if needed and the last thing a woman needs is to feel guilt for feeding her child. That is kind of disgusting and saddening. I'm sorry Ernie. You have done the best for your girls and I hope that the saying on the can doesn't bug you anymore.

I'm over it, but it seemed especially mean at first, when I was bummed at having been given no choice about bfing. I'm sure being hormonal didn't help!

[Deleted]

It pisses me off too! Not only for my type of situation but anyone that can't breastfeed- whether they choose not to, medical reasons or adoption. I agree with PP it's like putting the warning on cigarettes. My can actually says: "IMPORTANT NOTICE: BREAST MILK IS BEST FOR BABIES" Lame.

[Deleted]

Burp

[laurack]

Jan 14, 2013 13:23:41 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

I'm sorry things are tough right now. This can be a HARD age to nurse through. I feel like no one warns moms about this age.

I am interested to hear more about this... Do you mean this age as in 8-9 months, or as in this age forward? I guess I'm just wondering if its just like.. going to be harder as time passes, or if this is a tough time and then it gets easier again? not sure if that makes sense.

I am struggling slightly too with it, mentally. Mostly it's the pumping that I hate, but even breastfeeding itself isn't as "special" as it was I guess. I feel like obviously it would feel different, she's not a newborn anymore. However she's also only slightly bigger than she was a month ago and yet I didn't feel like this a month ago.

I definitely still have more positive feelings than negative and i feelso sad at the thought of weaning... however I also feel a bit like, sometimes I'm sick of it. But for no reason I can actually articulate!

[rjamz]

Jan 14, 2013 9:42:05 GMT -5 erniebufflo said:

That formulas canister saying "breast is best" seriously made me sob in the early days. You're an awesome mom, know that whatever you do.

This. Especially the awesome mom part!

[Deleted]

Laurack: you sound like exactly how I feel! So I totally get where you're coming from. It's a tough feeling. Dahli has said in the past that once and got through 8-9 months with H it was mostly smooth sailing until she weaned (at 2 I think) so there's that, but your feelings are valid and you're not alone!