So, part of my cleaning issue is that the system my dh and I had in place about household chores isn't working anymore. Having Thad has made some things more important and others non existent and created whole new categories of chores! So, who is responsible for what? Do you have certain days you do certain chores? I.e. Monday is bathroom day Tuesday bill day?
We divide the chores. I'm currently SAH and H works full time - a tonnn of hours. We have a cleaning lady who does the big things like vacuum, toilets, showers, etc.
I do all: -laundry -dishes -cooking -basic cleaning
He does: -trash/recycling (I'll take it out if he's busy and it needs to be done) -pays bills -changes lightbulbs/other minor house repairs
I do about 90% of all childcare, even on the weekends.
Post by TrudyCampbell on Jan 15, 2013 20:17:53 GMT -5
I SAH and H works alotttt but he still does a large chunk of the chores.
He does garbage/recycling, bathroom, cooking, and sometimes on the weekend he will do a big food shop although I tend to make multiple small trips to the grocery store.
We have our laundry sent out.
Vacuuming/mopping/dusting/cleaning surfaces is either of us- whoever is not watching the baby at that moment.
Like I said in the other thread I try my best to maintain the clean apartment since I SAH but he does help out a lot.
DH works very, very long hours, plus travels internationally a week a month. I basically do all the household stuff. I mean, he will take out the trash when I ask him, but he just isn't around to do anything.
I am a bit of a neat freak. Daily I: - vacuum (Elliot LOOOVES the vacuum...I pop him in the jumper and vacuum all around him while he squeals) - make all the beds (first thing in the morning) - straighten up/put everything away (during nap 1, nap 2, and right after both kids are in bed) - laundry (I do one load a day to stay on top of it) - Wipe down the master bath (while I get ready or bed. Just a quick wipe down). - clean the kitchen (we have an open floor plan so I am really anal about the kitchen. I just do dishes/clean as soon as I am doing cooking/eating)
Once a week I would steam mop, deep clean the bathrooms, stuff like that. Not all in one day, just when I have time. Usually I do one "big" chore in the evenings when the kids are sleep. No time when the kids are awake!
Post by lauranicole91 on Jan 15, 2013 20:33:36 GMT -5
I am responsible for Washing laundry Cleaning the bath tub Vacuuming, sweeping, mopping Cleaning the toilets Eta I manage the money and bills
He takes care of Putting away laundry Taking the dogs out Taking out the trash Bathroom sinks and mirrors
We alternate doing Dishes All things baby Cooking
But our issue is consistency. We don't have a schedule. We basically do what we need to when it's absolutely necessary. Example: we run out of clean socks-time to do laundry, can't find a clean fork-guess its time to do dishes, there are so many full trash bags on the floor that we can't walk into the pantry-time to take out the trash. Wow we officially sound like slobs. :/
DH works very, very long hours, plus travels internationally a week a month. I basically do all the household stuff. I mean, he will take out the trash when I ask him, but he just isn't around to do anything.
I am a bit of a neat freak. Daily I: - vacuum (Elliot LOOOVES the vacuum...I pop him in the jumper and vacuum all around him while he squeals) - make all the beds (first thing in the morning) - straighten up/put everything away (during nap 1, nap 2, and right after both kids are in bed) - laundry (I do one load a day to stay on top of it) - Wipe down the master bath (while I get ready or bed. Just a quick wipe down). - clean the kitchen (we have an open floor plan so I am really anal about the kitchen. I just do dishes/clean as soon as I am doing cooking/eating)
Once a week I would steam mop, deep clean the bathrooms, stuff like that. Not all in one day, just when I have time. Usually I do one "big" chore in the evenings when the kids are sleep. No time when the kids are awake!
This is me basically to a T. Minus the international travel. DH runs his company and does 4 FDNY tours a week, so he's never home. When he is and it's during the day on a weekend, he'll take the kids out to the park or something so I can nap. Does that count? LOL. He does household fixes and the trash when he's home, but again, nothing is his sole responsibility because his schedule is too packed and unpredictable.
I do probably 75% of the cleaning and 90%of the childcare. H works 24 hour shifts + overtime and an 80hr work week is not unheard of. B still has a clear preference for me over him though shes ok with H for short periods. We each do our own laundry, we share responsibility for B's laundry. H does 75% of the dishes, 50% of the cooking when he is home, and all of the yardwork. He is not handy at all so I do 90% of the home repair and maintenance. I clean the bathrooms, vacuum (every 2-3 days now that B is crawling), do any picking up around the house, the food shopping, errands. He takes out the trash and recycling when he is home, but I have to do it when he is working. Most of our bills are auto paid now, and H takes care of paying the rest of them. Feeding & taking care of the dog is split about even when he is home, though I'm the only one who will take her for a walk or to the park (she has full run of 3/4 of an acre so shes not exactly starving for exercise).
I know this probably sounds very uneven, but it works for us. With H's schedule we don't have much choice in how much I take care of. Plus, I feel like I have to contribute since I'm not working. H's job is really high stress too so I'd rather take a little more of the housework than stress him out more. My house is very much not perfectly clean. Far from it. Having B is requireing more cleaning and I'm hoping the new habits born of necessity will continue long after B is a todler.
We both work full time and we really don't have a set day we do specific things. When we clean it's usually on the weekends.
DH: Floors Bathrooms Trash/recycle Lawn and all outside stuff including porch area Cleans bottles nightly Makes bottles for daycare nightly
Me: Laundry Dust Pay bills Grocery shop Straighten up daily
As far as taking care of Lillian I have no complaints. I take care of her more but he does his fair share. I really want a cleaning person to come in every two weeks. He is so against it. He's a very laid back guy, usually gives into whatever I want but not this. As you can see he does more cleaning and that is a large reason why.
As far as cooking and Dishes goes, I would have to say he does it more than me. I have been cooking more lately but that's because I've been working from home so it allows me to prep/start before L gets home from daycare.
Post by formerlyllizzyb on Jan 15, 2013 20:55:01 GMT -5
I work two days a week. DH works long hours and rounds at the hospital one weekend morning. We divide the chores pretty equally.
My duties: grocery shopping and meal planning all laundry (clothes, towels, sheets, etc.) I clean the master bath and guest bath Clean and mop kitchen bills and paperwork most errands most baby care and chores
DH: vacuums, dry swiffers dusts cleans the half bath all outside chores (mowing, raking, etc.) garbage dog chores (brushing, poop pick up)
We share dishes/dishwasher duty. One person plays with DS and does bathtime while the other cleans up dinner at night.
Post by browneyedhunni85 on Jan 15, 2013 20:57:05 GMT -5
Right now DH is SAH so I leave him a list of chores to do each day. I do the deep down cleaning because I have a certain routine. He always has trash duty. I hate taking out the trash or putting the trash to the road. He also is in charge of the litterbox. We usually try to share chores during the week. We take turns cooking and doing laundry. When he isn't working I expect more from him because I'm working and not at home all day. I also take care of all the bills.
Post by imimahoney on Jan 15, 2013 21:05:38 GMT -5
We have no schedule, which is probably why my house is a mess. But we do try and split things evenly. Dh almost always does the dishes and cleans the kitchen. I do the laundry and clean the floors. I also clean the bathroom. Dh does all trash and recycling on Wednesday nights. Dh helps straighten up whenever I ask but he wouldn't initiate the cleaning process.
If I am cleaning on the weekend, Dh will have full baby duty. I feel like that is an even split as Ari is sometimes much more challenging than scrubbing the toilet.
We both have terrible schedules. On a daily basis I cook and take care of the kitchen (clean counters, floors, dishes, etc.) Mon.- Fri. DH is in charge of cooking or providing dinner on the weekend when he's off.
I do most of the baby's wash and laundry. I do laundry on Thursdays and Sundays for everyone. If DH needs wash done otherwise he does it himself.
I make a real effort to tidy/spot clean as I go during the week. On Saturday or Thursday (sometimes both days) I wash floors, vacuum, dust the whole house. DH does the yard work, trash, and organizing the bills.
On Tuesdays my mom is with the baby all day at our house so she has offered to help do some house cleaning which saves me most weeks. . My biggest mess is usually the spare room where I keep my desk and school/teaching supplies. This is all working so lovely for us right now, but I have 2 more weeks until I start grad classes again..I'm going to be lucky if can keep this up.
Since I SAH, I mostly do the housework. H is off on weekends so he helps with everything then. Usually we do our big cleaning on weekends. He does the garbage and that kind of stuff. He does help out during the week with loading/unloading the dishwasher and laundry stuff.
We both work full-time. Me: Bathrooms, organizing, bottle/pump cleaning, fusing, flower gardens/weed picking, dusting, laundry Him: trash, dog take in/out, vacuuming, mowing Both: childcare drop off, cooking (DH does 80% now), Ada (I do 80% probably), grocery shopping, dishes (DH does 80%), bills
I like our current arrangement. DH knows I love spending the evening with Ada after work, so he is willing to cook and clean up the kitchen almost every night. I think he is happy with it too?
H works full time, but not excessively. He's gone 8-6 usually. We have a cleaning service that comes fortnightly Him: Gets the kids up, changed, and dressed in the morning. Puts Jameson to bed. Cleans up dishes after dinner. Trash Mowing the lawn watch the kids when I work, take them somewhere if the client is at the house
Me: I mainly SAH, but I'll work random hours in the evenings and on weekends. Keep the toys at a manageable level of messiness Keep the laundry going - I keep the clothes running through all week and the we have a folding and putting away pow-wow on the weekend Pay bills / manage money Run all errands Vacuum Most of the cooking
We both put up the clean dishes when needed and are equal caretakers when we are both around.
Post by thedahliharpa on Jan 15, 2013 22:41:30 GMT -5
This might end up being embarrassing...
He works FT *90% of dog walking/care *100% of cooking including H's lunches *75% of kitchen cleaning/dishes *90% of trash *Bathes H/combs her hair *100% of bathroom cleaning but rarely deep cleans *Takes H to school 2.of 3 days a week *30% of the laundry *alternate nights putting H to bed, she established that *cleans hard floors
I go to the office 2.days a week but WAH and work evenings * I manage our bills, poorly... *bathe D *put D to bed *nurse her a lot, if that counts..it does to me *all my pump stuff *most of the toy cleaning- this is a big one *all CD laundry/70% of the regular laundry *feed D solids, I swear he'd skip every meal...
We either shop together or split it up.
He always feels he does more. I do just enough of some stuff to be able to say he doesn't do it all. We used to be 50/50 everything and have a hard time like this. We are both competitive and it is too easy to go tit for tat when we both are exhausted and struggling to stay above water.
Post by charlielove on Jan 15, 2013 22:56:03 GMT -5
I work two days a week (as of next month 2.5/days)
Me: - Take DD1 to and pick her up from school 2 days/week - Prepare all school stuff/baby stuff to take to my moms - Household cleaning (vacuuming, bathrooms, kitchen, dusting, etc.) 80% me - All laundry (he often puts our laundry away) - 95% cooking meals, make all baby food - Bathe DD2/her night time routine
DH: - Pays all bills and manages finances - All yard work (mowing, weeding, planting) - All house maintenance - All car maintenance - Bath time w/ DD1 - Does the dishes after dinner always
I know I'm forgetting a lot. Sometimes I feel like I do so much more, but I'm also not working FT soooo....and I'm also much more of a neat/clean freak than DH, so I automatically just need to have things cleaner than he does.
Post by creamsiclechica on Jan 16, 2013 0:12:22 GMT -5
I'm going to get slammed I'm sure, but I do the majority of everything. 100% of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork/landscaping, grocery shopping, MOTN wakeups, and finances. I obviously am a SAHM, and DH does not designate that I do these things, but it's what I'm used to. I sort of have to, because he has to leave a lot for training, and he works long hours. Plus, Matt's got a lot of combat related things he's going through right now, and it's only fair for me to accommodate that after all he's been through. That's not to say he just sits on his ass though. I go to the gym 5-6 times a week for how ever long I want to go. Every Saturday and Sunday, I sleep until whenever I want to get up, and he spends the majority of the evenings and weekend days hanging out with A so he gets time to play/nurture her.
It works for us. When I need a break, I tell him, and he lends a hand where I need it. Sometimes he surprises me and does things while I'm gone. He also takes care of all 4 of our vehicles, and fixes things in the house when they break. And the dogs. He bathes them every two weeks, takes them to the vet, etc.