We don't discuss it except for when my mom bemoans how hard it is for her, with them making awesome money and living in a huge house with a housekeeper and lawn service.
Seriously though, my parents are in denial of ever dying which is bad because both of them had parents who died at their age. I am the executor of their wills but I know little to nothing .
We're open with our families about our money, if it comes up. They seem to think we're made of money, sometimes, so I don't mind reminding them what we pay for rent and how modest my husband's stipend is for grad school.
Post by countthestars on Jan 23, 2013 12:22:36 GMT -5
My parents know a lot about our financial situation because they are very MM and have given us lots of good advice over the years. My mom is also our tax preparer, so she knows everything anyway.
I don't know much about their financial picture - I could probably guess how much they make-ish and I know how much they inherited from my grandparents but couldn't tell you anything about their investments, retirement, etc.
MIL doesn't know anything about what we make and it will stay that way. I have a rough idea of what she makes and how much she owes on her house.
My Dad is widowed, and I am an only child. When my Mom passed away Dad and I sat down and went through everything. I am on all of his accounts (except his retirement accounts). I know his financial advisors, and I know all his login information for his accounts. It was very important to me as I live 500 miles away and needed to have access to things in the event something happens to him.
DH knows nothing about his parents' situation, and they know nothing of ours. My Dad knows we are doing well and that is about it. He is very conservative and I think he worries sometimes because we do spend a lot, so I made sure he knew we were saving a lot too
Post by IrishBelle on Jan 23, 2013 12:32:28 GMT -5
We use my parents accountant to file our taxes and everything is exchanged through them. I assume they don't look at the information and if they do that's fine. They know we save for retirement and for school for the girls. Other than that, it really isn't discussed. Its not that it is a unmentionable topic, we just doing discuss it.
With my dad and stepmom, we are open without a lot of detail. I know they are set with retirement, wills, etc. My brother and I have been put in charge of the house already, to meet the 5yr deadline in case they had to enter a nursing home. We have talked about DH and I taking over their home when they're ready to downsize in about 2-3yrs, but we haven't discussed how financing will work (driving me a bit batty for planning, but oh well).
I do not talk with my mom and stepdad at all, but from what I knew before the break 2yrs ago, they were in extremely poor shape and basically the opposite of my dad and stepmom. There's been a lot of blaming and little planning in my mom's life.
DH doesn't know much about his parents' finances. We assume they are on slightly rocky territory since FIL has always been self employed and had to sell his last business a few years early and unexpectedly. MIL works occasionally as a sub teacher. They do not live large though, and went through the experience of putting FILs mom into a nursing home, so they are hopefully somewhat educated and prepared. But if they weren't it wouldn't completely shock me. All three of their sons are local and helpful though, so we wouldn't be alone in supporting them if it came to that.
We're fairly open. I knew how much each of my parents made when they were working. I know that my mom has a 401(k) and an IRA and an investment account, but I don't know the amounts. I know she reinvests the mandatory distributions because she doesn't need them for day-to-day expenses. I also know that she also doesn't need her social security checks for day-to-day expenses (my dad's pension covers those), so she uses them as her save-to-spend money or reinvests. Oh and now she has my dad's life insurance money; I don't actually know what kind of account that's in. I know her attorney and her finance guy, so they have her will and all the account info.
My mom knows how much DH makes (and she knew how much I made when I worked). She doesn't know how much we have in investment and retirement. When DH inherited a fair chunk money a few years ago, we did tell her that amount. And she knows we're in the process of refinancing, and how much our new rate will be.
Post by wanderlustfoodie on Jan 23, 2013 12:42:46 GMT -5
Very open. H and I are both only children and are extremely close to our parents. My parents know what H and I both earned last year; H’s parents know what he earned and I’d imagine he told them what I earned, too (even though it’s a bit irrelevant since I earn pennies compared to H). I know a lot about my parents’ finances and I know H knows a lot about his parents’ finances, and we discuss with each other when necessary.Neither set of parents needs our support, but we are both on the same page that if our parents ever need anything we’re absolutely giving it to them. We have many more years to enjoy our savings than they do so we freely give to them. If H were selfish about that, it would've been a dealbreaker but he's amazing. (This is why I didn't even respond to the post yesterday about parents who have one child are selfish - it made my blood boil.)
My mom- I am her executor, will be in charge of the farm trust, have her POA. We talk openly about each others finances.
FIL- Nothing. H thinks that FIL has enought to live comfortably, but he is in the middle of a divorce. He is jealous of us, so we keep our mouths shut.
I don't know specifics - I guess I know about what my mom makes per year, but I have no clue about my dad. Maybe a guess. I don't know what exactly they have saved for retirement, either, but we've had several conversations about how their financial advisor said they were on track, the fact that my dad gets a pension, their house is paid off, etc. I don't know what kind of number is "enough" but I trust that when they say they are prepared for retirement, they are prepared for retirement.
I have no idea about DH's parents. It's just his dad and step mom and I know his dad is retired on military disability so whatever that means. They make enough to get by and my understanding is that his pay won't change. I have no clue what the dollar amount is and it's not my business IMO since they are able to take care of themselves. I believe this also includes long term care when FIL is older though perhaps I shouldn't make this assumption.
My mom probably knows the generals of our finances. We talk like friends and definitely both bitch about things being expensive/tight from time to time. I doubt that she could quote exactly what our yearly HHI or car payment or mortgage is, but I think she's got a good general idea and if it ever comes up/came up in conversation I would have no qualms about telling her.
Post by bostonmichelle on Jan 23, 2013 13:25:32 GMT -5
I know my parents finances pretty well as I prepared their tax returns the last few years. My dad also lost his job recently an disclosed a lot more of how comfortable they are that he is thinking of going in a new direction for a job and they also chipped in a good amount for my wedding and have saved that same for my sisters future wedding. I don't know all te exact numbers but could calculate them within reason. IL's we know are pretty poor, have almost the mortgage paid off, FIL barely works and MIL makes less than me and I doubt they have any retirement savings and I know they have none to little regular savings from discussions.
My family is fairly open. If you ask, we will tell. Savings/checking account balances are off limits though.
I tell my mom almost everything about our finances. I doubt she could quote it all, but she knows we are doing well. The only thing I don't tell her is about our checking/savings account balance. I'm sure she thinks it is much higher than it actually is.
My mom is pretty open about her finances. She doesn't go into extreme detail, but I still think I have a pretty good idea of how she is doing. I have the log in to her bank accounts so I could look if I really wanted to (but i never have!). The only thing that I am clueless about are her investments. I know how much she used to contribute monthly, but I don't know about the rate of return or if she is still contributing as much now that the gas well isn'tt producing.
I also know quite a bit about my brother's general finances. I don't know about all of his personal debt or SILs student loans, but I know his income and house/vehicle expenses. A lot of the information came from when we were looking at buying a house. My brother was my go to guy for all my questions about the buying process and what we could expect to pay for everything.
FIs family will never get to know about our finances. They know that we are keeping our head above water (heck sometimes we even lie aout that) and that is all they ever get to know.
My parents absolutely do not know our salaries. It's not their business. I'm sure they suspect the ballpark, but they don't need to know what we make. Oh! Wait, actually I told my mom what I make over Christmas because it was relevent to the conversation. And since my mom is a realtor, when we buy property, she'll probably look up our purchase price and taxes.
I know both my dad and my stepfather are great at investing and max out retirement. My stepfather is already semi-retired, actually, but they live off my mom's salary and are paying off the house early.
I plan on helping my children learn how to budget responsibly and pay bills, but no one needs to know the ins and outs of my finances other than my spouse.
ETA: I don't think my in-laws know much, but they also don't understand the concept of "can't afford it." So maybe they think we're better off than we are? Or they just don't get that we try to be "good" with money. I sometimes feel like shouting at my husband to just tell them we CAN'T AFFORD IT. But he won't, because he wants to save face, and they wouldn't get it anyway.
We're very open with my parents and vice versa. I don't know specifics, but I know they have more than enough and will be comfortable as they continue through retirement. I'm also executor of their estate.
FIL knows we're not broke like BIL and that we are savers. DH has been dragging his feet having a conversation about estate planning with him. FIL retired early and should be ok, although I do wonder what will happen if he has to go into a retirement home and they end up taking his house b/c the money has run out.
MIL and her DH are comfortable, but we don't know their exact situation. DH is executor but we don't know much beyond he's in charge and a copy of the will.
I didn't know any specifics about my parents' finances until about two years ago. Thankfully they let me analyze them, because their retirement portfolio was way too aggressive for their age (90% stocks).
My dad loves to talk about money and I don't. I would prefer that he not know too many details other than a rough idea of how we're doing. He is a CFP and is great at investing and wants to help. He's always asking me how much money I have lying around to invest and he would love to manage my retirement accounts. I should really embrace it, but I'm independent and stubborn and I just want to handle things without his help (even though I really could use the help.)
I don't know exact numbers, but I know that my parents are in decent shape. I know roughly how much they owe on their house and how much they make. I don't talk about money with my ILs. They are very frugal but always made decent money, so I assume they have a lot stashed away. They think I make a fortune.
FIL is really freaking nosy about our finances. They make a little bit more than us right now, but somehow they never seem to have any money. They don't travel at all, have lived in the same house for 32 years, and buy a new car every six years or so. I don't get it. They have mentioned that they will be 100% relying on pensions in retirement (they are both teachers). I hope the state makes good on their pension promise!
My dad was always very private about finances. I never knew how much he made. But then again, it wasn't really necessary as a child. Now my mom is fairly open about finances. Her income is all in the form of investments, and I don't know how much she has, but she asks questions and tells me some details. She is not nosy about our finances at all, and I don't give her unsolicited details.
My dad has an idea of our salaries and what our retirement accounts look like. The only reason he knows though is because he helps us file our taxes and if I have questions I always call him. We do not know anything H's parents financial situation and I know only a little about my parents.
My family has no idea of our salaries, and we intend to keep it that way.
Based on their jobs (unemployed and minimum wage) my siblings make significantly less than I do alone, and when you add in my H's salary which is larger than my own, and we're in a situation where we pay more in taxes than either of them likely make in a year. It's just better for all of us to keep that information private.
My parents are fairly closed about what they bring in from their retirement as well, but I know from assorted conversations with my mom over the years that they are fine and will continue to be fine.