I think it was me. I made the joke about putting a baby's name over their crib in case the parents forget the name in the UO thread. I'm sorry - it was insensitive and I should have assumed someone on this board would have done it.
Merida - I don't think you've ever said anything offensive. My only beef with you is that you've changed your display name and it's totally tripping me out.
I've actually never been offended by anyone on here. Definitely jealous though - there are so many houses that are nicer than mine will ever be and have character that you just can't get in an 80's colonial.
Honestly, the dislike of anything seemingly just because the masses like it (eg. granite, etc. ) bugs me. It just seems smug. Maybe I should have put that in the UO thread, LOL!
Honestly, the dislike of anything seemingly just because the masses like it (eg. granite, etc. ) bugs me. It just seems smug. Maybe I should have put that in the UO thread, LOL!
I'm right there with you! I don't notice snark as much as I notice the, "I'm going to hate this, becuase everyone else loves it." Fine if you do it, but don't hate it just be alternative. If you love it, dammit, hang it up already.
And really girls, let's not pick random silly comments apart here. I think there's more to it than that. Commenting you don't like granite or making a joking about crib letters isn't a big deal and adds life to the board. Hating on every blog picture to ever cross the internet is just overkill and I think that's what the OP is driving at here.
I think it was me. I made the joke about putting a baby's name over their crib in case the parents forget the name in the UO thread. I'm sorry - it was insensitive and I should have assumed someone on this board would have done it.
MERIDA- I don't think you've ever said anything offensive. My only beef with you is that you've changed your display name and it's totally tripping me out.
I've actually never been offended by anyone on here. Definitely jealous though - there are so many houses that are nicer than mine will ever be and have character that you just can't get in an 80's colonial.
Eh, I don't think that singled anyone else out, and really, a lot of people said word art. Although I will say people take naming their children very seriously so I can see loving the name on the wall. And I don't see myself spending much $$ on nursery art since it will only last so long. But since it doesn't get your seal of approval... Lol
Thanks for the sweet comment. I wanted to change since that other name was recognizable to friends/family and if I want to vent or discuss things like TTC I want to be more anonymous.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Jan 23, 2013 20:25:03 GMT -5
Merida, I have criticized laminate floors hardcore on here, but guess what? Both houses I have lived in have them .
Just bc I hate them doesn't mean I have the money to spend on anything different, I mostly hate them with such passion bc I DO have to live with them, lol, so I am intimately familiar with their drawbacks.
I'm guilty of saying things are out of style, but I honestly have good motives that I should probably express more clearly. I don't want someone to install something that's already off the radar bc they'll have spent money that won't serve them as well because they'll only get 6 years out of something instead of 10, for example, before the masses declare it's completely passe.
Post by sailorgray on Jan 23, 2013 22:43:06 GMT -5
I should add that I am all for people giving opinions. I know we all have different tastes. I guess it's when people go into these elaborate reasons. Then I just want to say, "Ok, we get it. You think Ikea is only for people who can't afford better furniture." No, I just really like Ikea.
This is a D&R board. There are going to be times when someone says they do not like a D&R style that you happen to have in your home. It's not an assessment of your personal character. I think we need some perspective. Take a trip over the ML today and then come back and tell me we're snarky.
This board is soooooo tame.
This is where I am. Nobody means to be nasty or rude. The thing about the Internet is that you can sit behind a keyboard and "say" something that you might never say to a person's face. I've made my share of negative comments on this board. I think we all just need to pause for a moment and think before we type. Just because we don't personally know the person we are "speaking" to doesn't mean that feelings can't be hurt. This includes the bashing of popular D&R blogs, which I am guilty of.
I also agree that if you want to see some real snark, mosey on over to ML and then come back here. We will not seem snarky, I promise.
Meh, people tend to be harder on blogs & magazines b/c they're putting themselves out there as professionals.
I think the comments on people's homes are usually pretty nuanced and helpful. I suspect the recent threads about trends you hate spurned this tone shift. We had several in a row. I'm over hearing about how many people hate chevron. We get it (I kind of like it)
I have several things mentioned in the unpopular opinion thread. (SS appliances, french door fridge, carpet in my bedrooms, furniture from IKEA because I am nest-poor, non-custom cabinets, laminate counters, white trim, etc etc etc.) Could I build a lovely custom house? Yes. Would I probably end up divorced and/or house poor? Yes. So, I live where I live with what we can comfortably afford right now. It doesn't hurt my feelings if someone doesn't care for my appliances.
I like you, Peach, but this post is totally vaguebooking to the nth degree. Everyone spends the next 3 days going, "Oh no! Is it me? Was it x? Was it Y?"
I *think* I may have figured out what Peach means. In the past, D&R was all about asking opinions on this pillow or that paint or dining set, or showing off stuff we made, or where the cheapest already made glitter pumpkins were, etc. Now the board moves slower and a lot of the posts are picking on YHL, other random blogs and asking what people don't like. There isn't so much personal decorating talk going on and a lot more bashing going on. I don't think we bash each other and it's not one certain statement made or one single poster. It's just more negative, kwim? I just think the online world is inundated with decor blogs, Pinterest and nothing is new, so we have run out of things to talk about.
Anyway, I enjoy this board. I must say that D&R is def different from the "old" days ( ) where a lot of friendships were made, but back then this board was crazy fast. I still rely on this place to bounce ideas off of.
I *think* I may have figured out what Peach means. In the past, D&R was all about asking opinions on this pillow or that paint or dining set, or showing off stuff we made, or where the cheapest already made glitter pumpkins were, etc. Now the board moves slower and a lot of the posts are picking on YHL, other random blogs and asking what people don't like. There isn't so much personal decorating talk going on and a lot more bashing going on. I don't think we bash each other and it's not one certain statement made or one single poster. It's just more negative, kwim? I just think the online world is inundated with decor blogs, Pinterest and nothing is new, so we have run out of things to talk about.
Anyway, I enjoy this board. I must say that D&R is def different from the "old" days ( ) where a lot of friendships were made, but back then this board was crazy fast. I still rely on this place to bounce ideas off of.
Word! Thanks for making it clear. This is what I have been trying to say all along. I'm not afraid of negative either. When I posted house pics 2 weeks ago I got quite a few comments that could be construed as hurtful and snarky. Meh. Whatever. It made me think what else I could do and if I loved it, dudes, it's only the internet. I have no time in my day to be all hurt some nestie with more time and money than I will ever have doesn't like my slipcovered wingbacks or wood trim! It's not that we're being mean to each other, it's that this site has become more about critiques than actual decor ideas. Which is fine too, just a direction some of us may not like.
And Peach, I love you, but I'm with SJH. If you're going to start this discussion, finish it.
And for the 8th millionth time girls, let's not do the is it me jazz. I'm in third grade today and have had enough of that already.
I *think* I may have figured out what Peach means. In the past, D&R was all about asking opinions on this pillow or that paint or dining set, or showing off stuff we made, or where the cheapest already made glitter pumpkins were, etc. Now the board moves slower and a lot of the posts are picking on YHL, other random blogs and asking what people don't like. There isn't so much personal decorating talk going on and a lot more bashing going on. I don't think we bash each other and it's not one certain statement made or one single poster. It's just more negative, kwim? I just think the online world is inundated with decor blogs, Pinterest and nothing is new, so we have run out of things to talk about.
Anyway, I enjoy this board. I must say that D&R is def different from the "old" days ( ) where a lot of friendships were made, but back then this board was crazy fast. I still rely on this place to bounce ideas off of.
I got the same thing from Peach's post, sailor.
And, as per usual, I'm about 12 hours late to the party.
I think the board tends to go in cycles and sometimes it is more negative than others. I think we usually have a post or two about it and after everyone vents and clears the air a bit we start over with more positive attitude.lather.rinse.repeat.
UO posts always get people's panties in a wad, but honestly, the point is to post something that is your opinion and you know that others don't share that opinion. The person posting thinks that their opinion is unpopular, so the people who are offended because one person doesn't like something they like should realize that the person who doesn't like it thinks that most people do like it, and not be so offended. ;p
The posts that bother me are the ones where someone is asking for help finding something and people start picking on the item/pattern because they don't like it. If someone wants chevron, they don't need to hear that you hate it. Or if someone wants something with a bold/floral/stripe/pastel/whatever pattern, and all you can answer is that you don't like it (because it is not something that you would choose), then don't answer. If you can get past yourself and look at what works with the poster's style, then by all means answer.
And on that point, where did everyone go? This board is essentially a combo of the BAH and D&R boards and BOTH of those boards used to move pretty quickly. You'd think with the combo it would be crazy fast as you said. And then if you go back to the nest, it's dead over there, too. Did people just up and quit with the migration and if so, HOW DID YOU HAVE THAT KIND OF STRENGTH?!?!?!
I could never quit you guys.
I noticed that the board on TN got pretty slow before we moved over. I always feel bad saying this because I don't want the new posters to think I am saying they are lame (they def aren't), but the days of Bryn, Holly, MrsPaz, Ginabee, Tobemiller, etc. were fun. We talked decor A LOT, but we also knew when so-and-so was going to have her baby. I remember when my DS1 was due there were a few posts asking if anyone heard from me b/c I hadn't posted and they were wondering if my guy was born. We were friends, too. I think I shared more with those girls than my IRL friends, as sad as it is.
It's weird to have these friendships with people and then they just disappear and you have no clue who to get in touch b/c you only knew them online. Sometimes a random person will pop into my head and I wonder whatever happened to them. Hello, Ginabee, I want to see your house and if it's done
I think there's a nice way and a mean way to say stuff. We all have our own styles and preferences and that's totally fine. I appreciate suggestions that are delivered nicely, but I think comments like my house being devoid of personality are a little low. I try to just shrug off stuff like that because I know it's more about the person who said than my house, KWIM?
At the end of the day, you really have to just shrug it off and take everything with a grain of salt. Add to the fact that you never really get the nuances of how anything is meant to be SAID when it's written. Stuff that is read is so easily misinterpreted.
I missed that because I'm rarely on here, but FWIW, I LOVE your house. LOVE. And if you love it too, that's pretty much the only thing that matters.
I chose not to point to a specific comment or instance because I didn't want to call someone out and make them feel shitty over something they probably never meant to be mean they just didn't think before they posted. Hell, you could probably go back and find comments I have made that have been rude about someone's home at some point.. If I have a problem with a specific comment I can private message them and discuss it; honestly there isn't a specific comment that comes to mind it's just the last 2-3 months I have found myself cringing or raising my eyebrows more often at comments that are hurtful rather than constructive.
And like always, you are welcome not to agree with me. I have my big girl panties on.
I think posts like this make problems worse. I mean, everyone thinks they are the one you are talking about so then it leads to 109394343 posts worry it is them, asking what you are talking about, etc. IMO, if you are concerned about someone behavior in a post call them out there...
I know you say it isn't one person. But, is that really possible? How can you have an over-arching impression that this is happening, and it not be a couple of people being rude?
Honestly, I was off D&R for awhile. I came back recently and it seems exactly the same.
There's always been a bitchy person here and there being annoying. (sometimes more than others).
I think veered in a not unexpected, but also not really productive direction.
Which is a shame - because I thought that Peach had a good point that kinda got lost. It's been a while since we really critiqued a blog or magazine room (or even one of our own rooms) based more on design than on our own tastes. Or at least it feels that way to me.
We tend to get bogged down in how something is overdone, or not a color we would choose, or not our style - but never really get into how we think it could have been designed better while staying within the chosen aesthetic.
I like geeky conversations like that, even though I don't know enough about design to really fully participate. We USED to do this all the time. I think somebody in particular would start the posts? I forget who though. But the discussion was usually more about whether something was a successful design and less about how much we're all tired of YHL It'd be nice to resurrect that habit. Flex our constructive criticism muscles. (says the girl who can't post during the day anyway...)
And your 3rd to last statement of "no way my rooms will ever be nice enough for these girls" is why I don't have anything in the Bio section, and why I rarely post my house here. I guess I've gotten used to it over time, and mostly just enjoy the conversation and ideas.
Ditto this! I mean, honestly, I love my house but know that generally, most people here probably wouldn't because it's not the pretty, polished, technically styled home that seems to garner praise around here. I may be generalizing because I can only peek in here like once a week, but I'm not a professional decorator, nor do I want my home to look like it was done by one. I make tons of mistakes and usually realize them after living with them for awhile. I do like the ideas and conversation on the board though.