I am just going to say it

[peach]

I feel like lately around here there has been so much mocking/ripping apart of other's rooms and homes....on blogs or magazines or whatever.

Why is that?

I mean, yes, I am all for sharing opinions. And totally, all rooms posted on the internet are free for discussion and critiques! I do it just as much as the next person.

But I feel like there is a difference between a room that is well done, properly designed, and just not YOUR TASTE and a room that is done wrong/poorly.

When a room is done beautifully I can still think it looks like shit, if it's totally not my taste. But I can recognise that it's a well done room and say so. I would rather poke out my eye than live in a super modern house with an orange sofa and teak panelled walls. But if it was done well, it's not an ugly room it's just not my personal taste... When a room looks like a hack job and they have things like proportion and scale all wrong, furniture is arranged poorly, etc. that's a "bad" room.

I think we can learn from picking rooms apart and discussing why they work or why they don't. what is wrong, what needs to be changed, etc. Not saying I don't enjoy a good discussion over a room....Just sometimes the rooms that people are making fun of on here are like...magazine worthy, a million times nicer than most of our homes and yet everyone is laughing at them because they painted their cabinets white "Soooo tacky" or whatever.

I guess what I am trying to say is I feel like there is so much bashing here lately. I LOVE a good honest opinion. I hate when it's all sunshine and roses and no one actually says "hey, your pictures seem hung to high and your drapes are not the right color". But I think we also need to watch that we aren't just tearing apart beautiful, well done rooms just because it's not what we would have done. If it's well done, it's well done, whether you like it or not. Doesn't make it ugly. And it's still ok for you not to like their room, but I think it can be stated in a way that recognises that they did a good job on the room, it's just not "you."

Did I make any sense at all?? I don't know if I did....I've just found myself lately feeling like "geez, if that amazing room gets ripped a new one over having  *gasp* stainless steel or *the horror* subway tile, then there is no way my rooms will ever be nice enough for these girls...and I never used to feel that way on here.

I am not saying I don't want or value opinions, even ones that are negative. but I feel like sometimes it's been taken too far and people are just looking for anything to pick apart, even if they have to make it up.

Ok I am done now. *pulling on my flame retardant suit*

[boiler717]

People are ripping apart each other's homes on here or on blogs?

[kaylie]

Are you referring to the unpopular opinions post? I'm sort of drawing a blank on rooms that have been ripped apart (but then again, sometimes I lurk in ML and once you read some of that stuff nothing else seems all that critical).

Usually if someone posts their own room and I don't like it, I don't comment.

[thewop]

I think this kind of thing goes in phases, and every once in a while people need to get some things off their chest and it kind of snowballs into everything seeming negative. Pretty soon we'll be back to a normal balance, I think.

And your 3rd to last statement of "no way my rooms will ever be nice enough for these girls" is why I don't have anything in the Bio section, and why I rarely post my house here. I guess I've gotten used to it over time, and mostly just enjoy the conversation and ideas.

[peach]

I just found a general attitude on here lately is more snarky than it ever used to be. I don't think any of us live in a perfect home and yet, there is so much laughing and finger pointing at rooms that to me look perfectly nice...
I have been on this board for like 6 years or something, and it's only lately that I feel like "No room is safe" lol.

[boiler717]

I think there's a nice way and a mean way to say stuff. We all have our own styles and preferences and that's totally fine. I appreciate suggestions that are delivered nicely, but I think comments like my house being devoid of personality are a little low. I try to just shrug off stuff like that because I know it's more about the person who said than my house, KWIM?

[boiler717]

I also try (which is harder now that I can't see pics on the app!) to find something positive that I comment on in every room someone shares. There is always something I can appreciate. It takes some guts to put yourself out there, and I know I love the comments I receive.

[peach]

Exactly! If I post something, I SHOULD be totally open to critiques or comments that are less than positive. But can't you say " I don't really like the fabric choice, but the rest of the room looks great!" rather than "OMG those pillows are so barftastic wtf is wrong with her! And she makes money at her blog? Why? she obviously is a sucky person because I don't like her pillows"

I'm exaggerating obviously, but some days I swear...comments raise my eyebrows with their rudeness.

[Deleted]

You know, I actually thought this the other day. It's partially why I haven't been around much the past two weeks (that and I have to work for a living lately..lol!).
It's like every blog we post on here lately gets hashed a part. It's okay to have an opinion for sure, but it's starting to lean towards high end or nothing at all.
I've  noticed latel perfectly average stuff everyone has is getting torn apart. Yes, that backsplash may not be for you, but it's four years old and the poster kind of likes it, no sense in tearing it apart.
I've also noticed the whole, "OMG. Get rid of that it's so 2010!" Really, it's 3 years old...it can't be that out of date. Who has the time or money to replace stuff after 3 years?

It  has to do with the blog, pinterest, internet saturation IMO. We see so much of the same thing over and over. We're just bored and need something to talk about so we gossip and b*tch about what we'd change instead, kwim?

This really hit home for me on Monday when I was shopping with my sister. She was picking out cute and acceptable winter/V-day stuff along with general decor at Gordman's and all I was thinking was, "Overdone! So tacky!" Then she picked out some really cute lounge pants with LOVE down the leg for me. They were still adult but adorable. I immediately thought, "But no words on adult clothes!"  I bought them anyways. They're freakin' pjs and make me happy! My sister's house isn't blog or internet worthy at all, but she does a good job and it's very cute. Nothing wrong with that. 

 I was sad my thoughts jumped to, "The internet says this is lame/tacky!" Sometimes it's about waht makes you happy. It's real life, I don't live in the internet. So definitely time to take a step back for this girl. I need to decorate my house for what suits me, not being worried about whether or not the internet thinks my throw pillows are outdated!

Not to say D*R hasn't given me great advice. You girls are great! I still feel loved. It's just that the expecations on here somedays are higher than real life allows, kwim?

**Runs back to hiding in her average house, with her average husband and kid, in her average job and her gray sweatpants that say LOVE.

[peach]

And this is probably a double standard, but I also feel like if someone makes a huge mistake with a room it's ok to point it out and comment..like a lot of the YHl threads where we have pointed out they made a bad design choice and 6 months later they correct it because, yes, it was the wrong rug size or the paint color was too dark, etc.

I guess it's all subjective...what I think is lovely might be someone else's design mistake.

[kaylie]

Jan 23, 2013 16:46:41 GMT -5 boiler717 said:

I appreciate suggestions that are delivered nicely, but I think comments like my house being devoid of personality are a little low.

Okay, I have clearly not been paying enough attention. It's not cool to tell someone their house is devoid of personality. FTR, I freakin' love your house.

[thewop]

Jan 23, 2013 16:53:24 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

You know, I actually thought this the other day. It's partially why I haven't been around much the past two weeks (that and I have to work for a living lately..lol!).
It's like every blog we post on here lately gets hashed a part. It's okay to have an opinion for sure, but it's starting to lean towards high end or nothing at all.
I've really noticed lately that perfectly average stuff everyone has is getting torn apart. Yes, that backsplash may not be for you, but it's four years old and the poster kind of likes it, no sense in tearing it apart.
I've also noticed the whole, "OMG. Get rid of that it's so 2010!" Really, it's 3 years old...it can't be that out of date. Who has the time or money to replace stuff after 3 years.

I also think it has to do with the blog, pinterest, internet saturation. We also see so much of the same thing over and over again. We're just bored and need something to talk about so we gossip and b*tch about what we'd change instead, kwim?

This really hit home for me on Monday when I was shopping with my sister. She was picking out perfectly cute and acceptable winter/V-day stuff along with general decor at Gordman's and all I was thinking was, "Overdone! So tacky to decorate for holidays!" Then she picked out some really cute lounge pants with LOVE down the leg for me. They were still adult but adorable. I immediately thought, "But no words on adult clothes!" I bought them anyone. They're freakin' pjs and make me happy!
It was all really nice and made her happy. I was sad my thoughts jumped to, "The internet says this is lame/tacky!" Sometimes it's about waht makes you happy. It's real life, I don't live in the internet. So definitely time to take a step back for this girl.

    Amen. You are my hero.

[peach]

Jan 23, 2013 16:52:25 GMT -5 asdfjkl said:

This is a D&R board.  There are going to be times when someone says they do not like a D&R style that you happen to have in your home.  It's not an assessment of your personal character.  I think we need some perspective.  Take a trip over the ML today and then come back and tell me we're snarky.  

This board is soooooo tame.  

you didn't get what I was saying.

I wasn't meaning if everyone doesn't like the style in my home I am going home and crying to mommy. And I never said anything about my personal character . . . . . 

[boiler717]

Jan 23, 2013 16:52:25 GMT -5 asdfjkl said:

I think people are saying it's fine not to like it. You just don't have tear it apart.

We all obviously put a lot of time and effort into our home or else we wouldn't be here. Positive and negative feedback is always good. Your house looks like trash is over the top IMO.

[munkii]

When there are posts about (non-GBCN) blogs, I'll comment. I try not to be negative, but maybe I am? I admit I have been hard recently on self-proclaimed designers without training ONLY when it comes to what they're calling themselves.

When someone here posts pics of their house, I try not to comment at all--if I do, it's only positive. Since I have never shared pics of my house on here, I feel creepy commenting on others' homes (positive and negative). Once I start posting pics, then I'll feel like I can chime in more.

[peach]

boiler, you get what I am trying to say...

I'm not saying no more critiquing rooms, no one is allowed to have an opinion that isn't positive. I share lots of not positive comments on rooms
It's just the rudeness that has been surprising me, as this is NOT ML haha. Since when is a newly renovated kitchen "trash"..cause all I see is an amazing room. THOSE comments are what I am referring to. It just makes me roll my eyes that someone is just looking for a reason to tear other people down and it's not even good decorating discussion it's just stupid.

[mrs.jacinthe]

I'm so confused. Can someone point me to this? Or tell me if it's me?

Sometimes I can get caught up and post things that don't necessarily come across right ...

[Deleted]

I really think what peach is getting at here at least IMO isn't that we're all snarky and calling each other out constantly, more like there isn't a damn thing any of us "approve" or "fall in love" with lately.
Time was on here every other idea was one for the "I need to do that file!"
It's been awhile since that's happened. As a result we're all disliking perfectly normal stuff lately.

And Boiler: who commented on your house? You and I have very different styles, but your house is nice for sure!

[sjh722]

Jan 23, 2013 17:08:07 GMT -5 asdfjkl said:

yeah, add me to the confused list here

[sailorgray]

I noticed that we had two threads on what people are tired of recently and both kinda went in a weird direction and bashed things like Ikea, granite, etc. I read them and did kinda get sad b/c I love pretty much what everyone said they hated. Then I remembered that I only put things in my home that I love. It may be something I saw recently on a blog or on Pinterest or on here. I do know that I kinda bashed the home of a blogger someone posted about last week (maybe the week before) b/c I didn't think it looked lived in. My house is always a mess, so I was just jealous...lol.

[peach]

I chose not to point to a specific comment or instance because I didn't want to call someone out and make them feel shitty over something they probably never meant to be mean they just didn't think before they posted. Hell, you could probably go back and find comments I have made that have been rude about someone's home at some point.. If I have a problem with a specific comment I can private message them and discuss it; honestly there isn't a specific comment that comes to mind it's just the last 2-3 months I have found myself cringing or raising my eyebrows more often at comments that are hurtful rather than constructive.

And like always, you are welcome not to agree with me. I have my big girl panties on.

[sjh722]

Jan 23, 2013 17:14:20 GMT -5 asdfjkl said:

it's time for an airing of the grievances!

[mrs.jacinthe]

Jan 23, 2013 17:14:20 GMT -5 asdfjkl said:

Jan 23, 2013 17:10:53 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

I'm so confused. Can someone point me to this? Or tell me if it's me?

Sometimes I can get caught up and post things that don't necessarily come across right ...

Do we need a festivus.  If so, we need to set a date and time.  And this "just in general" stuff wouldn't suffice.

I think we missed Festivus.  (Isn't it before Christmas?)  

Also, was it me?  OMG, I didn't mean to if it was .... 

[sailorgray]

Jan 23, 2013 16:46:41 GMT -5 boiler717 said:

I think there's a nice way and a mean way to say stuff. We all have our own styles and preferences and that's totally fine. I appreciate suggestions that are delivered nicely, but I think comments like my house being devoid of personality are a little low. I try to just shrug off stuff like that because I know it's more about the person who said than my house, KWIM?

Uh, if someone is going to say that about your house, they are crazy. Your place is beautiful! My H and I look through your pics b/c it's inspiration for our dream home. You should be really proud.

[peach]

omg please dont start the "Is it me?" thing...
I am not thinking of any specific person. I am not trying to call someone out - if i was, I would say their name.
Like I said just seems like a general attitude shift, but apparently boards can't have attitudes or tones? I think I am confused now at the way some people interpreted what I said....I suck at writing stuff. I swear I could write for 2 pages and someone else can say what I am trying to get out in 1 sentence.

[Deleted]

Jan 23, 2013 17:13:53 GMT -5 sailorgray said:

I noticed that we had two threads on what people are tired of recently and both kinda went in a weird direction and bashed things like Ikea, granite, etc. I read them and did kinda get sad b/c I love pretty much what everyone said they hated. Then I remembered that I only put things in my home that I love. It may be something I saw recently on a blog or on Pinterest or on here. I do know that I kinda bashed the home of a blogger someone posted about last week (maybe the week before) b/c I didn't think it looked lived in. My house is always a mess, so I was just jealous...lol.

LOL...the state of 3/4s of my house on any given day can be classified as "Toddler Tornado"

I guess I just take those "what I'm over threads" with a "If I didn't live in reality/have to deal with I got" grain of salt.

I posted over being over word art the other day for example. I have 3 forms of word art in my house which I do like. I'm just over it as in I want to get something different/don't want to buy anymore of it, kwim? I still own it, would just like to move on from it.

[peach]

Does it make me a bebe if I don't know anything about Festivus other than it was some thing from Seinfeld?

[pitterwoo]

This issue didn't really register for me, but I do always find that YHL or whatever blog is being posted about always looks SO much nicer than what I'm expecting if I click over after reading comments about how awful things are.

I wish more people would post bios and pictures in general. Having a visual is so much more helpful.

[pinkeggs]

Hey now, I said that in 5-10 YEARS people would say "that's so 2010!"

I don't know, I guess I don't really see it. As for the "what don't you like" threads, well, we are certainly all different. I said I don't like granite, but I have butcherblock countertops and surely someone thinks those are hideous. And I don't really care because I lurve them lol.

BUT, I am glad you spoke up if something is bugging you. I will try and make sure to be respectful.

[adhdfashion]

Maybe we should start more positive threads? Like PIP something DIY you love or want to try. Favorite fabric Fridays? That kinda thing.