I'm in the "never say never" camp, but it's not something I'd be looking for, especially w/ DS. My focus would be on him and making sure he and I are good and that we have a good life ahead of us.
I'll be 35 this year and I already feel like I have lived at least a couple lifetimes. Women in my family seem to live a long time so if I was widowed young I couldn't imagine living several more lifetimes by myself. My H is my best friend. I love him and he would leave a huge void if he passed. I wouldn't want to fill it, but I think I would need another partner to be able to live with it, KWIM.
Now, if he passes before me and we are old and grey? No, I would let the o,d biddy's at the nursing home be my BFFs;)
None of my replies are showing up. Boo! Basically this is just a test to see if it is working or not.
ETA- my actual answer. Probably. The person would have to be a good fit for my family and my kid/future kids would need to agree to it as well.
I had a dream that DH died in a plane crash and that his bestie from college started hanging out more and more so that DS would have a male role model. Well, eventually we got married and had a few more kids. I could actually see this happening since the college bestie and I are really close.
Once I got past the grief and "how in the hell am I going to raise 3 kids by myself??" shitstorm, I would. But the guy would have to be super awesome.
DH and I have talked about it, he said he's okay with me remarrying if he died but that he'd come back and haunt the crap out of the guy. If I were to die before him, if it weren't for the kids he'd sell the house and start driving OTR again and just work himself to death or end up in Arizona (it could go either way really).
I like being married, so I think I would want to remarry. The thought of starting over with someone new is daunting, though, and I would have a hard time trying not to compare any other man to H. It would be hard to live up to him.
I have no idea. I love my H and I'm happy I married him. But I don't think I'd want to do hat all over again with 2 kids. I'd probably want to get a boyfriend and live in separate houses.
If the right one came along, maybe. But he'd literally have to fall into my lap, because the thought of going out and dating and starting over makes me want to hurl.
Maybe, maybe not. It all depends on things others have mentioned, like how old I and how old my son is. I think finding someone suitable to be a father figure for my child would be just as difficult as finding a compatible spouse.
And plus, I'd probably adopt 10 cats. I'm not sure that's something that most men are looking for.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Jan 25, 2013 10:53:41 GMT -5
I can't say no, but I can't imagine it, either. This Feb it will be 3 years since my husband died, and he was sick and failing for maybe four years before that. So the logical part of me tells me I should sort of be "over" the actively grieving part, and I mostly am. However, he was the single most honorable, standup guy I'd ever met in my life. His. Word. Was. Good. And I can't imagine the complicated process of getting married again. I'd have to:
Meet a guy Find the guy attractive. Kiss the guy without throwing up (this is where I'm stuck at the moment. I cannot imagine this). Get the guy to like my kids (teenage boys, so they kind of suck). Want to kiss the guy again. Marry the guy.
It's all too daunting, so I imagine "it'll just happen or it won't" and with that attitude, I kind of assume it won't.
I wouldn't be opposed to it if it happened but I wouldn't be looking for it. DH and I have such a great mesh with ourselves, personalities our quirks etc that took so many years to develop and I can't imagine putting that much work into another relationship,.
Post by pantsparty on Jan 25, 2013 11:51:20 GMT -5
Probably not. I mean, H is pretty much the only reason I leave my house. I feel like it would be way too much work and quite a gamble. And let's face it, I'm at my peak in the looks department. I might have to rely on my brains or personality to attract a man. Ugh. That sounds exhausting.
I don't think I would, thinking about him gone makes me teary eyed but I don't know what the future holds. If he's gone and we already have kids then no but if we're still childless I'm on the fence about it.
Post by litebright on Jan 25, 2013 18:28:50 GMT -5
In theory, I guess. I'm not sure anybody else could live up to him, though.
And I feel like I'd be in such a tizzy, raising two little kids and having to go back to work FT, that it's hard to imagine having the time, energy or willingness to date.
I love being married. One part of what I appreciate about being married to my H is that along with the fact that he's fantastic, I hope to never have to date again. ::crosses fingers::