How to handle this boss? I'm SO FRUSTRATED. Long.

[greekypie]

Background:

I work in engineering, new product development for a bigass corp. I have been working for this boss since August. I'm in a rotational position, but come with significant experience for the projects she has assigned me. I work remotely and travel as necessary.

Issue:

My boss is a work hog. That is, she hoards information about projects she has assigned me to, no-shows at 95% of meetings or phone calls I arrange with her, even when she chooses the meeting time in advance. I just went 3 weeks with no direction and not empowered to make any progress on my own, because she avoided all meetings and phone calls. Did not return emails. Instant messages went unanswered.

Of course this makes me think that 1) the work I do for her is SO not important to her, and 2) she is a self important a-hole.

Just this week, I finally got an hour of her time. I come to find out that YES, the projects I'm supposed to be doing are important, SO important in face that she's got a head start on them, drew up the calendar, etc. and she just wasn't going to tell me about it until she was ready. So I spent 3 weeks sharpening pencils. And she is fine with this.

Not only that, but instead of the 2 manageable projects, she expects me to do 4 in the same timeframe (completely unreasonable). When I told her that, she just ignored me and kind of had a nervous laugh, like well, man up, you are doing it anway.

She doesn't invite me to staff meetings. A coworker of mine instant messaged me from a staff meeting yesterday (she's my friend and also works for this woman), and said

"Your name is all over the slide she is showing now, for her objectives for the year (the projects I'm supposed to do are part of her objectives). Everyone is asking who 'Greeky' is. You should be on this call."

Well no fucking shit. I'm so angry that this happens REPEATEDLY. Then, she literally said in the meeting (my friend let me know):  

"if your name is on any of these slides, I hope you know that you don't own these items. So don't go run with them".

^o)   I suppose she MEANT to say "if your name is on these slides, please know that I'm want you to be successful, and we're in this together. Let me know when/if you need support to get this work done."

[greekypie]

sorry for typos.

[greekypie]

reallllllly. 100+ reads and nothing?

Am I being a whiny ass?

[sicilygirl]

I have no advice. But I just wanted to say that I feel for you. I also have major communication/workload/etc. problems with my boss. I spent about 20 minutes venting about it to my husband this morning. It sucks.

[flymetothemoon]

Ok, I'll bite. I grant that you are in a difficult situation and it would drive me nuts too. If it were me, I'd arrange another in-person (skype or however you have them being remote) meeting with my boss asap to address the lack of inclusion in staff meetings and get additional information about the slides with your name. I'd probably also ask for copies of all her work to date on the calendar and schedule and perhaps follow up if I found red flags (a schedule that's completely unrealistic for instance). I do think you were right to speak up about the difficulties of four projects running concurrently. Maybe follow up with her on that via email (CYA in case it all goes south) and recommend either a new schedule you think is realistic to make all four projects ultimately be successful or ask for additional resources and lay out a plan for how they should be allocated against the projects. By doing that, she's aware you're thinking of how to solve the overworked issue and not just complaining about it.

[Deleted]

Document for when you have to take this to the higher ups when everything fails. And ask the boss for a copy of the powerpoint presentation you weren't privy to. I would also ask - in writing - for invitations to staff meetings.

[Deleted]

I would try to find someone who has worked with her more successfully. Ask them for guidance. Does your friend have these same problems with her?

If it is really so bad she never talks to you, you might need to go to her superior, but that would be a last resort.

Maybe keep messaging to her that you want these projects to succeed, but you have to be kept informed and no where to start.

My guess is that she is actually super-overwhelmed. She's trying to do your work because she may not be at all comfortable with her role.

[greekypie]

My friend has nearly identical issues with her.

Thanks for your input.

[phunluvin82]

I was trying to think of some good advice...but all I can come up with is to be more pushy about getting face time and being included.

Squeaky wheel gets the oil and all that. I would be aggressive enough that she can no longer avoid you and/or laugh off your concerns.

I would express firmly that you were dismayed to find out that there was a meeting that concerned your work, but that you weren't included in. Like PP said, ask for a copy of the Powerpoint.

Express to her your concerns about the 4 projects and the timeline. Be specific and give her detailed reasoning...not just "I don't know if this is doable" type thing...but specifically what problems do you see arising, why, at what point, what are some potential solutions, etc.

Do all of this is writing via email, etc, so that if you ever need to escalate this, you have a paper trail.

ETA: Also, doing this in writing enables you to keep at her...i.e. "I still have not received any response regarding my email on x date about x,y,z issues...please advise ASAP"...etc. 

[steph96]

Document document document. Take it to her boss.

Can you not just show up to her office? I don't know how much of a trip that might be for you....

[Deleted]

Does your coworker with the same treatment also work remotely?

I wonder if that has anything to do with it. I know many companies are much more progressive than mine, but remote work is JUST beginning to be something that is a part of our world. I think many of us haven't been able to wrap our minds around how to properly include people who aren't physically there to have conversations on a whim and pull into unscheduled meetings. I also have found that much of the time if we have someone remote on a call and the call isn't specifically about them, that person is mostly silent and not really a part of the conversation. I know many companies do remote work successfully, but if this is a new or unusual arrangement at your company (or even just in your department or for your boss) that it could have something to do with it.

Should I assume you live too far away to go to the office more often?

Otherwise - I don't know what to do. If it were me I'd maybe just move forward after I'd asked for a response multiple times. Maybe send an email saying "I haven't heard back from you, in order to stay on schedule I need to move forward. Here's what I plan to do, please let me know by tomorrow if any of that is a problem, otherwise I plan to move forward". My boss's desk is 10 feet away from mine but there have been times (especially recently) where he's practically unreachable because of meetings and other commitments. I just try to keep working and send him information to keep him in the loop. If you've tried a bunch of times (and it's documented in email) I don't think anyone above your boss could fault you for continuing to work when you're being ignored.

[UnderProtest]

I don't have any good advice. I had a crazy boss like this. Example, I asked her to prioritize my workload to see which one she wanted me to work on first. Her response was "all of them.". She went to other managers in the group and told them not to help me and wouldn't help me herself (on a project that other managers had attempted and failed and I was just staff). I tried everything I could. The only thing that worked was transferring to a new group. Good luck. Feel free to vent here.