Toddler Turmoil

[hensmum]

Holy hell, y'all. The defiance, the sleep regression, the DRAMA, the whiny clinginess. Are we going to survive to see kindergarten?

I expected some issues with him as he adjusts to the full school day (which he is doing awesome with, by the way!), but all this behavior really started before that.

My little angel has become this exhausting challenge. I'm trying to respond with patience and empathy, but he is just so intense, it's really hard.

A friend of mine told me that her guy, who'll be four this summer, went through 7 months when his behavior was totally bananas, and then it suddenly ended and he went back to himself.

Is this the 3yo horror I've been warned about?

Commiseration? Words of wisdom? Book recommendations? Ha!

[ct]

Toddlers can be assholes.

I think its so much worse when they *were* sweet little angels then pull a 180. We never went through any of that terrible 2 business with Rosebud. And then she turned 3.

Then there is Daisy who is the love of my life but so, so bad. I have to watch her like a hawk 24/7 and the girl throws elbows like its nothing (her brother and sister are scared of her) - at least she's already got me on high alert for when she hits the 3s...

people used to give me so much commiseration when I was walking around with 2 babies. that was nothing. A 2 and a 3 year old on the other hand and I'm about a few temper tantrums away from a padded cell

[hensmum]

CT - two babies would def be easier than this insanity. It is 8:30am and I'm already ready for my own time out.

[ct]

take it! my kids are well familiar with the phrase, "Mommy needs a few minutes to take a deep breath because her energy is getting very low."

and by energy i mean patience and will to live

[hensmum]

Ugh, that one doesn't seem to work with him. He's watching a show now next to me on the couch. And he has sports class later, thank goodness.

[twotrue]

Yup, it's the age. JB is the same way. I've found that including her in whatever I'm doing actually helps best. When cooking she can pound chicken, mix things, measure things (w/help of course), wash veggies, etc. She loves it and it gives her something to focus on. For morning and night routines we've gone to what she calls "lists" of all the things she is supposed to do with listening ears on. She loves checking her list and making sure she has done it all.

It's not perfect by any means. Last night she cried the entire car ride home because she didn't have her jacket on (mind you, she had refused to put it on inside daycare). We stopped a store and she wanted to get K a flower, so I let her get one. Well it was a delicate sort of flower and when we got home every petal was off of it. Cue sobbing. And sobbing. And more sobbing. We walked in the door at 5:40p and it was 6:43p before I could even get her settled enough to eat dinner. So that's a bit of commiseration for you

[tattooedmeegs]

I'm just going to ditto everyone else and say that we are right there with you. Gwen is my sweet snuggle bug, and at the same time the biggest handful! On minute she's happy-go-luck, the next she's screaming and sobbing because we don't have any more strawberries. I hear 4 and 5 are much better ages! Lol.

[2brides]

Yup. 3y sucks. BIG TIME. I am sorry he is being such a pill. Where is he in relation to his birthday? We found that around the time of their birthday and then the 6m after (so, 3y, 3.5y, 4y, 4.5y...) were always the most challenging.

[Duchess1]

I feel your pain. 3 is ghastly. PBS is impossible. Drama! Academy Award winning hysterics,sighs,eye rolls etc. We actually had her hearing retested because she had perfected acting as though she couldn't hear us.

It's cold! It's hot! It's mine! It's not mine! I'm sad! I'm happy! Aaarrrrgggghhh!!!!

Whenever you say anything remotely displeasing to her highness she crosses her arms,hrumphs,spins on her heel and announces she isn't talking to you anymore.
The five minutes of quiet is delightful :-)

Hang in there. This too shall pass...at least that's what I hear.

[2brides]

FWIW - it did start getting better at 4y and 5y was downright delightful after that nonsense (not to say that they were angels at 5y - but they were much better about communicating their needs/reasoning/etc.)It will pass (and bring on new and different challenges!)

[tattooedmeegs]

Jan 31, 2013 11:17:13 GMT -5 Duchess1 said:

The five minutes of quiet is delightful :-)

Ha! :Y:

[seattlekari]

Yeah 3 was effing hell for us. SO much worse than 2. But like 2brides said, 4 was a DREAM compared to 3 and 5 was even better. Hang in there mama and know that this too shall pass...eventually.

[hensmum]

Thank you for the commiseration!! Nice to know my kid isn't the only demon child :-p

I always tell people who are freaking out about something their baby is doing that everything is temporary. Nice to be reminded that that's true!

I like that list idea twotrue! Including Hen in things is hot/cold. It can work sometimes, but often it leads to disaster.

And omg crying in the car when something isn't on that they explicitly demanded be taken off??? Ahh!! We had that the other day with mittens. Screaming that he wants to get out of the shower less than 20 seconds after he just screamed that he didnt want to get out?? Delightful.

I was just reviewing my Love & Logic book while he was in sports class. Highlighter in hand! Haha

[twomoms2twins]

SAY IT AINT SO! SAY IT AINT SO !!!

[cymru]

I am so counting down the days until Annie turns four. I can't stand three! I had no concept of how bad it would be until we were in it.

I am hoping with four comes better behavior and better coping skills for me!

[never2amazing]

My dear sweet Peanut screamed, cried, kicked my seat almost the whole drive home yesterday because I wouldn't let her have my cell phone. C wants to blame it on the little bit of Caillou I let them watch...but I know it ain't that. Reading what 2brides wrote makes perfect sense, the twins turn 3 in March. Can a person buy bulk tequila from Amazon?

[ssg73]

On the preemie board we call it the asshole toddler switch. The ATS is often locked in the on position. between 2.5 and 3.5 my child was a holy terror. We have the large spider crack in our led tv to prove it. Ugh. We found that time outs did not work for Ella. She is so strong willed that she would fight more about the injustice of time out it just wasn't worth it. We instead started telling her that if she was going to act rudely or not listen she would have to do it alone in her room. She would storm off to her room when she was sent and slam her door. She often would slam it so hard she would knock the E that hangs on it. It got to the point that if she slammed it and the E didn't fall off she would open the door and slam it again so it would. I swear I was living with a teenager. I spend the majority of my time either with middle schoolers or three year olds and I can say with confidence that they are pretty much the same animal. The older ones just have a better vocabulary but the look of distain is totally the same. Oh and the fits god help me. She had one when I was alone with her in P-town this summer. I thought someone was going to call the cops on me for kidnapping. She was screaming bloody murder because she didn't want to get out of the stroller. But she seems to be coming out of it 3.5 seems to be a much better place for her. She doesn't have meltdowns nearly as often and they are much shorter lived. Although her new thing is screaming "I am not giving up!" when having a fit about not wanting to do what ever she has decided is horrible, you know like wearing socks or eating. You will get through this.

[ct]

Jan 31, 2013 17:38:03 GMT -5 never2amazing said:

 C wants to blame it on the little bit of Caillou I let them watch...but I know it ain't that. 

I have to say (and understand if you disagree), that I definitely notice a difference in the melodramatics and meltdowns if they've been watching TV. I was recently reading an article that suggested this was b/c TV watching is associated with poorer sleep, and the poor sleep leads to the decline in behavior.  I wish I could find it again b/c it was an interesting connection that made a lot of sense to me.

[2brides]

I have noticed that the kids go to sleep much quicker and easier (ie. no chatting in bed, stalling, procrastinating, etc) if they don't watch tv before bed. We've transitioned back to reading to them and noticed a huge improvement.

Oddly, if they don't get to watch 1 show in the AM while I get ready for work (and before they have to get dressed), they are a nightmare. Wake up, watch a 20m show...no problem getting dressed and out the door.

Silly kids.

[twotrue]

Jan 31, 2013 18:45:21 GMT -5 ct said:

Jan 31, 2013 17:38:03 GMT -5 never2amazing said:

 C wants to blame it on the little bit of Caillou I let them watch...but I know it ain't that. 

I have to say (and understand if you disagree), that I definitely notice a difference in the melodramatics and meltdowns if they've been watching TV. I was recently reading an article that suggested this was b/c TV watching is associated with poorer sleep, and the poor sleep leads to the decline in behavior.  I wish I could find it again b/c it was an interesting connection that made a lot of sense to me.

Now you gone and done it.  Stay far away from the TV battle in the TWB/N2A household.  There is no winning.

[2brides]

Jan 31, 2013 18:06:48 GMT -5 ssg73 said:

 Although her new thing is screaming "I am not giving up!" when having a fit about not wanting to do what ever she has decided is horrible, you know like wearing socks or eating.

this is awesome. I mean, not for you or S, but it cracked me up.

[mk]

Oh no, now I don't want the girls! Lol

From Mandy's phone

[hensmum]

hahaha! When i just saw that you replied, I thought "Oh no! Poor Mandy!" Nothing like hearing a room full of toddler mom horror stories just before becoming one yourself! There is a good side too... Promise

[ct]

lol Mandy, at least you know what you are getting yourself into??

toddlers can be A LOT of fun, but you will definitely get your fair share of temper tantrums!

[seattlekari]

Aw Mandy, it's not ALL bad, it's just a roller coaster of a test of your patience. And being that you are a foster parent and dealing with the ups and downs of that, I have no doubt you have plenty of patience to go around!