FIL irked me

[bunnymendelbaum]

He said today: "Well, I hope whoever buys this house (ours) has A TON of money. Hahaha."

WTF? Our house isn't perfect, but IMO it doesn't need a ton of work requiring a ton of money. I know he thinks we are stupid for pouring so much time, money, and energy into it, but we wanted to and it has been fun. I'm proud of what we've done.

(Plus, it is going to pay off when we sell. He's been in his house for 40 years, put money into it and couldn't make jack selling it now.)

It is just weird to me when people can't see the value or pleasure of an interesting old home. Maybe he's so used to his very normal, boring but 'perfect' suburban house that when he sees ours he just thinks it needs to be perfect too? I honestly don't think you could make this house perfect with 5 million dollars and really why would you want to?

Anyway, it just irritated me. Anyone else's ILs or patents not understand their D&R?

[TBM]

My mom doesn't get it. She gives me hard time for watching diy and decorating shows on tv, but she sure is impressed and proud when we come to visit her, fix things for her, and pretty things up a bit. lol

[pitterwoo]

no parents except my Dad and he has no opinions on this kind of thing. But I do get comments from other people because our house is small and old and they are close to each other. But on the flip side, we're in a city with a great location to get around and we really like a lot of the features of the older home. Not to mention that we have some great neighbors, so proximity has never been an issue.

[SusanBAnthony]

My il's haven't made any, other than lots of OMG how can you stand to live so close to other people, and to train tracks, and to things that are not horses/cows. They live in a rural area by choice (commute an hour into the city) and think we cannot possibly be happy without our own 10 acres.

I have now said variations of "I will kill myself if I ever live in the country", "add the price of me checking into a mental hospital to the price of that farm", "yes the kids will have woods to play in but their mother will have run away to the city", etc, enough times that mil has quit for the most part.

[emoflamingo]

My ILs are pretty good with not making offensive comments about things I enjoy. They were actually on my side when it came to Ruggate 2012.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry he didn't mean that in a "You can list for this a small fortune sort of way, so I hope the next buyers have a lot of money!"

My mom is pretty into DR herself. My dad could careless. He thinks I clean too much and makes fun of me all the time.

My MIL thinks it's ridiculous I spend my paycheck on house stuff and rearrange/decorate in my free time. Now that some of Hs sisters have really gotten into their houses, she says a lot less. She likes what I do though. It's just not her thing. She's had the same curtains and bare cream walls since they built in '84 and she likes it that way.

[ktzmoh]

I'm sorry. That is obnoxious. I know there are plenty of people out there who love older homes with plenty of character.

[sailorgray]

That's def something my FIL would say. I am sure both MIL and FIL don't understand half of the crap I do when it comes to decorating. FIL is always saying we need a bigger house.  When it's just the 4 of us at home, it's perfect.

My FIL is kinda bugging me right now. He and MIL are trying to sell their house to us. I had mentioned it before when asking about an unfenced yard and if you guys thought it was a deal breaker that we couldn't fence it in. Anyway, while they are offering us a nice price with great incentives and I am so, so appreciative, it isn't quite what we want. The price, while discounted some, is still at the high end of our budget and the house doesn't have a yard. It's not that the yard isn't fenced in. It's that there is just no yard for our kids to play and we spend so much time in our yard now. FIL is really pressuring us. My H is losing sleep. He's crunching numbers. I don't want to buy it and I am pretty sure FIL is gonna be upset. I like our life now. I know this is a first world problem, but the pressure is tough.

[pitterwoo]

I realize that I totally made my house seem like it's a crap hole. It's not really and while it's small by suburban standards, it's more than we need for the 2 of us. We wouldn't outgrow it unless we had 3 kids probably.

sailor, the house deal sounded good, but it was probably a long shot. If it's not sitting right with you and your H you'll just have to turn on the diplomacy and let them down.

[pitterwoo]

and bunny I don't really get what your FIL is referring to. Didn't you recently paint the outside, put in a new kitchen and freshen up all the rooms inside? What is it that he thinks needs to be redone immediately?

[bunnymendelbaum]

I'm not sure exactly what he meant. The house will need new roof shingles, storm windows & a little brick repointing. Nothing huge or urgent.

I think it just bugs him that our plaster walls have cracks, the wood floors aren't level, and the wood trim isn't perfect. It's an old house, IMO you don't need to fix that shit.

Can you tell where my husband got his know-it-all perfectionism from??

Sailor- sounds like if you bought the house, you'd regret it. I'm w Pitter, turn on the diplomacy and ease out of it.

[pitterwoo]

Agreed bunny, you don't and in some cases can't fix that stuff. It just goes with the territory. Maybe his place is well constructed, but old houses aren't the only ones with those issues. One of H's relatives has a new home and there are several spots that I can see the drywall screws and joint taping. Not to mention that you can hear the toilet flush or someone showering across the house. No thanks, I'll stick with the solid plaster walls.

[Deleted]

Hm. A comment like that from FIL wouldn't bother me in the least. I've seen his house. I'd be worried if he DID like my house LOL. He's probably just old and trying to be funny. My grandfather used to do that all the time, and sometimes it just came out mean.

ETA: I'll just drop this here since I've been wanting to for months.  Wish you wouldn't sell it  

[auntie]

Ugh.

I get that we all have different tastes, but nice people say nothing if they have nothing positive to say.

[bunnymendelbaum]

But won't it be fun to see/hear about what crazy modern house we build too??

This morning he said: "normal is good you know?" I panicked internally thinking how could he have read this post!

[sailorgray]

Bunny, I LOVE your house. I cannot get over all of the work you put into it. I am also excited to see your new place. When are you listing yours? When are you taking down your blog (the REA told you to, right?) and will you have a new blog when you start building?

Merida - when we bought our house now, my FIL was on the phone the night before closing trying to convince us to back out. He had only seen the place from the outside. It was hurtful b/c we were so excited and nervous. He didn't help. He also didn't see the other houses in our price range, so we knew that our house was perfect for us. When he finally saw the inside he was pleasantly surprised. The outside had siding issues making the house look a little ugly. The inside was totally brand new and beautiful. Lucky for us, a windstorm came through damaging the siding extensively and insurance paid for the siding to be redone. Yay! Anyway,in 'yo face, FIL. JK.

[sailorgray]

Oh, and I have no issues telling the IL that we will not be buying their house. If it were some amazing deal, I would feel bad, but it's not. I'll just tell you - It's gonna be listed at about $340k, but we could pay $315k. That's a big chunk of change to pay for no yards. So, while it is a great discount, we would be paying a lot still. Plus, high taxes and a $165/month HOA fee. My MIL was constantly saying "no pressure." I think she sees how FIL can be. I did have to laugh b/c I asked where the kids play if there are tiny yards and my FIL said, "OMG! You should see the house down the street. The kids just hang out there with each other and play." My MIL looked at him and said "Uh, well, FIL, it is the bus stop..." That made me laugh.

Anyway, they are good people. My FIL just tends to meddle. His intentions are good, though.

[TBM]

Feb 1, 2013 8:09:22 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

But won't it be fun to see/hear about what crazy modern house we build too??

This morning he said: "normal is good you know?" I panicked internally thinking how could he have read this post!

I can't wait to see/hear about your crazy modern house build.  We may live vicariously though you, since we are not find anything remotely modern in our house hunting.


I tell people that their normal and mine are not the same. ;p

[pitterwoo]

Feb 1, 2013 8:09:22 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

But won't it be fun to see/hear about what crazy modern house we build too??

This morning he said: "normal is good you know?" I panicked internally thinking how could he have read this post!

If your FIL is a H&G GBCNer I think you have bigger problems!  

I will enjoy hearing about your new build.  Over the past year or so I've been seeing the appeal in modern design like never before.  

[munkii]

Feb 1, 2013 8:09:22 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

But won't it be fun to see/hear about what crazy modern house we build too??

This morning he said: "normal is good you know?" I panicked internally thinking how could he have read this post!

Do one like this! www.100khouse.com/

or not 

[pitterwoo]

that blog looks interesting munkii. the header pic showing the modern house next to a late 1800s row home reminds me- where are you building this new modern place bunny? Off by itself or integrated into a community? How do you feel about houses matching time periods?

[bunnymendelbaum]

Feb 1, 2013 9:23:40 GMT -5 munkii said:

Feb 1, 2013 8:09:22 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

But won't it be fun to see/hear about what crazy modern house we build too??

This morning he said: "normal is good you know?" I panicked internally thinking how could he have read this post!

Do one like this! www.100khouse.com/

or not 

Munkii - I saw that house in Dwell. Here is the anal architect thing about it: You see that ceiling fan in the last photo? That is an industrial fan meant for spaces with ceiling heights over 10' tall (because the blades are metal and the fan can go really fast = hand chopping off). See in that same photo how the dad is throwing the kid in the air?? Um, yeah. Might not want to do that.