Kid Update! (updated update) hahaha

[mk]

Baby S had court the day we flew home.  Our GAL didn't go (somebody sat in for him) and our FCM isn't calling/writing us back.  No idea if mom showed up, if DNA was done on that random other dude in prison, or what. 

We haven't heard anything back on the 2 girls. It's the same FCM so... I don't know if or when we would hear anything.

Our home-finder now knows we're interested in taking more kids.  She sent us an email about a 1 year old girl who needs a pre-adoptive home. We said we were interested so she sent our home-study to that girl's FCM. I don't know if I'd rather have virtual twins (Caucasion boy/AA girl) or 3 stair-step kids (same race).  I didn't even realize I was thinking so much about race until I typed that. Huh. We probably wouldn't be chosen for both, but I feel like we need to decide just in case we are?

UPDATE: FCM wants to locate new home for the 2 girls THIS WEEK.  Holy Mother. Bio mom to Baby S showed up to court, visitation will begin soon.  At least I'll be distracted? with 2 more children? Oh my God. Somebody come help me! lol

[hensmum]

Well I hope you hear more soon!

As far as the transition period goes, I think adding one 1yo to the family would be smoother than a 2 & 3yo. Both because you are already in the older-infant mode, and because logistically, in my opinion, three kids under 4 is a whole other ball game. Of course, it's about more than the transition period - it's about the makeup of your family long term. As for being chosen for all 3 kids - that's a lot at once. In my opinion, too much, unless you have a lot of great support (like a parttime nanny or grandparent coming regularly).

Okay, before I hit post - I hope you see this for what it is: me thinking outloud with you I am sure you've thought of all this and more.

Keep us posted!

[mk]

Feb 4, 2013 5:41:45 GMT -5 hensmum said:

 As for being chosen for all 3 kids - that's a lot at once. In my opinion, too much, unless you have a lot of great support (like a parttime nanny or grandparent coming regularly).

Okay, before I hit post - I hope you see this for what it is: me thinking outloud with you I am sure you've thought of all this and more.

Keep us posted!

No way we would take all three kids (don't have the room anyway).  That's why I feel like we need to choose which we'd rather have, in case we get picked by both social workers. My mom takes Baby S a couple times a week.  We spoke yesterday and she said she'd love to come to our house and help out when we have more kiddos and I'm home full time.

Thanks for thinking out loud with me! It helps.

[ct]

I agree w/ brit that the "twinning" would be easier than the 3 in a row in terms of ages, but race is probably the bigger of the two considerations if there is any question about being a biracial family.

GL!

[eratmama]

Ihope you get some answers about s soon!

I think its great the homefinders are thinking about you for some other cuties. If it were us, we would be thinking about if we would be *done* after this match.

If we have one more, race will be a factor (dont want an "odd man out.")

[seattlekari]

Wow! Lots to think about and consider. Sending some good vibes your way and wishing you luck as you go forward!

[ct]

i wish i could - i'd be there in a heartbeat!! enjoy the roller coaster!

[kershnic]

OMG! How exciting! So are you going to keep working PT?? Did you find health insurance yet?

[2brides]

Ohh....how exciting!

[mk]

Feb 4, 2013 19:50:28 GMT -5 kershnic said:

OMG! How exciting! So are you going to keep working PT?? Did you find health insurance yet?

So far I haven't found anything that covers maternity (just in case)... So I'm not quitting just yet! I'm hoping to spend a good chunk of time tomorrow researching this... We shall see!

From Mandy's phone

[kershnic]

Feb 4, 2013 22:49:21 GMT -5 mk said:

Feb 4, 2013 19:50:28 GMT -5 kershnic said:

OMG! How exciting! So are you going to keep working PT?? Did you find health insurance yet?

So far I haven't found anything that covers maternity (just in case)... So I'm not quitting just yet! I'm hoping to spend a good chunk of time tomorrow researching this... We shall
see!

From Mandy's phone

Any chance you're eligible for Medicaid? I think there's an asset test that I don't know if you'd exceed. But I don't think they could count K's income against you since in the eyes of the federal government she's your single roommate and all. Just something else to look in to!

[twotrue]

Feb 5, 2013 9:34:36 GMT -5 kershnic said:

Feb 4, 2013 22:49:21 GMT -5 mk said:

So far I haven't found anything that covers maternity (just in case)... So I'm not quitting just yet! I'm hoping to spend a good chunk of time tomorrow researching this... We shall
see!

From Mandy's phone

Any chance you're eligible for Medicaid? I think there's an asset test that I don't know if you'd exceed. But I don't think they could count K's income against you since in the eyes of the federal government she's your single roommate and all. Just something else to look in to!

Last time I had to read up on Medicaid for someone the Feds look at the household which includes everyone under the roof married or not.  Now, I don't know if there are variations by state but usually there is some language to this effect in the application "persons who are presently residing together as if a family".  Check it out though.

[kershnic]

Hm,yeah, I think TT is right. All my clients lie about it so I forget. (Baby daddy doesn't live here....right...). But you can't really do that with foster care and owning your home.

[2brides]

Feb 5, 2013 10:01:22 GMT -5 twotrue said:

Feb 5, 2013 9:34:36 GMT -5 kershnic said:

Any chance you're eligible for Medicaid? I think there's an asset test that I don't know if you'd exceed. But I don't think they could count K's income against you since in the eyes of the federal government she's your single roommate and all. Just something else to look in to!

Last time I had to read up on Medicaid for someone the Feds look at the household which includes everyone under the roof married or not.  Now, I don't know if there are variations by state but usually there is some language to this effect in the application "persons who are presently residing together as if a family".  Check it out though.

Yup. This. My clientele is nearly 100% Medicaid and it looks at household income without taking marriage into account. Like Kershnic, a lot of my clients do live together, but claim different addresses so they don't have to 'count' the other persons income. It is also why a lot of my clients don't get married.

[mk]

Feb 5, 2013 10:35:28 GMT -5 2brides said:

Feb 5, 2013 10:01:22 GMT -5 twotrue said:

Last time I had to read up on Medicaid for someone the Feds look at the household which includes everyone under the roof married or not.  Now, I don't know if there are variations by state but usually there is some language to this effect in the application "persons who are presently residing together as if a family".  Check it out though.

Yup. This. My clientele is nearly 100% Medicaid and it looks at household income without taking marriage into account. Like Kershnic, a lot of my clients do live together, but claim different addresses so they don't have to 'count' the other persons income. It is also why a lot of my clients don't get married.

I can't do Medicaid anyway. I just don't feel right about it since I don't really need it. Thanks, though! Same thing with WIC formula.

[kershnic]

Feb 5, 2013 11:30:51 GMT -5 mk said:

Feb 5, 2013 10:35:28 GMT -5 2brides said:

Yup. This. My clientele is nearly 100% Medicaid and it looks at household income without taking marriage into account. Like Kershnic, a lot of my clients do live together, but claim different addresses so they don't have to 'count' the other persons income. It is also why a lot of my clients don't get married.

I can't do Medicaid anyway. I just don't feel right about it since I don't really need it. Thanks, though! Same
thing with WIC formula.

WIC checks are part of your stipend! You should take those! I see that as very different from applying for Medicaid for yourself.

[mk]

Feb 5, 2013 12:46:29 GMT -5 kershnic said:

Feb 5, 2013 11:30:51 GMT -5 mk said:

I can't do Medicaid anyway. I just don't feel right about it since I don't really need it. Thanks, though! Same
thing with WIC formula.

WIC checks are part of your stipend! You should take those! I see that as very different from applying for Medicaid for yourself.

Yeah, but if I had a bio baby I wouldn't apply for WIC, so I just can't do it!

[kershnic]

Feb 5, 2013 12:56:53 GMT -5 mk said:

Feb 5, 2013 12:46:29 GMT -5 kershnic said:

WIC checks are part of your stipend! You should take those! I see that as very different from applying for Medicaid for yourself.

Yeah, but if I had a bio baby I wouldn't apply for WIC, so I just can't do it!

If you had a bio baby you wouldn't get a stipend either (please tell me you're not turning that down ) and you wouldn't have to deal with family visits or court or social worker visits or home inspections or any of that other stuff. I get where you're coming from and I can respect it, but I also feel like it's reasonable to accept any assistance you're eligible for to benefit your family.

[rikkiandjulie]

Feb 5, 2013 13:15:11 GMT -5 kershnic said:

Feb 5, 2013 12:56:53 GMT -5 mk said:

Yeah, but if I had a bio baby I wouldn't apply for WIC, so I just can't do it!

If you had a bio baby you wouldn't get a stipend either (please tell me you're not turning that down ) and you wouldn't have to deal with family visits or court or social worker visits or home inspections or any of that other stuff. I get where you're coming from and I can respect it, but I also feel like it's reasonable to accept any assistance you're eligible for to benefit your family.

THIS. If benefits are available to you, and help you continue to be a wonderful mother to your children, I would take them.


Rikki-iPhone

[mk]

Shrug. We wouldn't spend anymore $ on the baby if I did use WIC, so I guess I don't see the point. If and when we need it, I'll use it. If I have more than 1 on formula, I might be more inclined.