Am I strange for doing this?

[starrieskies]

Once a week for the last month or so, I have taken myself out to lunch.  Not a drive through lunch, but actually go into a resturaunt, be seated, and eat a nice(er) lunch.  I find it relaxing.  Sometimes I bring my kindle and read, other times I just sit and enjoy the "nothing".  Its something I used to do all the time, but haven't made time for until recently.

I've never been one to shy away from going places or doing things alone.  H has never liked this about me, and I guess I just never put much thought into it.  I just did it because it's a nice break from reality, and a chance for me to eat things that I wouldn't normally eat.

I mentioned my weekly lunch outing to a friend of mine, and she did not hesitate to tell me how wierd she thought it was. 

I admit to being more of a "closet extrovert" than a lot of my friends, but I really don't see what the big deal is here... 

Am I wrong?  Is this really a strange thing to do?

[Deleted]

Nope, not weird. I loved doing this (it's been a while) and one of my absolute favorite things to do is go to the movies by myself. People think it's weird, but who cares? You are comfortable with yourself enough to spend time WITH yourself. I think that's a healthy place to be.

[dixienormous]

Definitely not weird. I do it when I can. I take myself on full on dates. Dinner and the movies, or dinner and a play. It's so important to do things on your own. Especially when you have a lot going on.

[gault]

Nope. I do it often and have for years. Extroverts don't see the point, I think.

[Muddled]

I think it's great that you give yourself weekly you time.

[cuddlyevil]

It's not weird, I used to go movies by myself all the time. It was nice to not have to entertain anyone or compromise on what I wanted to do that day.

[Chirp]

Not weird. I do it all the time. I take my kindle and read.

It's one meal where I don't have to share food or worry about anyone else. It's very relaxing.

I get dessert too. Even if it's just a cookie (but it's usually chocolate cake).

[ECB]

I personally wouldn't do it just to do it - but after having traveled for work for a couple years, the idea doesn't phase me in the least. When I traveled, it was a choice of fast food drive through and eating in my hotel room, or going to a restaurant and eating alone. While I usually did it at the bar, I'd take a book and just sit back and relax!

[starrieskies]

It's just kind of nice to "unplug" for an hour, I think.

That and I don't think I've been very comfortable in my own skin in a while. I'm trying to get back to that, and I think that these little lunch dates have been good for me. I guess with the comments that this friend made, it had me wondering for a little while if I was being counterproductive and becoming more introverted when what I was trying to do was the opposite. She really seemed to think I was off my rocker for eating alone...

I would love going to a play or a movie alone! I used to do that too, and I really enjoyed it. Hopefully this summer I'll be able to do more things like that.

[fussbucket]

Not weird in the slightest. I'd say rather than escaping from reality what you're really doing is reconnecting with it by shutting off all the useless "noise" that crowds our daily lives.

I foresee more of this kind of peace in a starrie future sans H. Honestly, who tells their spouse that a harmless activity they enjoy is weird, as if you should stop doing something you like just because HE says so.

ETA: Ok, he says it's something he "doesn't like" about you. Same point stands. What business is it if his how you relax if it's not affecting much less hurting anyone else?

[gault]

I will also say that your H sounds a lot like how my XH behaved. Borderline, if not fully, sociopathic behavior. Controlling, thinks only of himself, likes to beat you down to pick himself up, manipulative.

If going to lunch/movie/etc alone helps you to recharge and unwind, fuck what your friend or your H thinks. Once you're rid of him, you might not need so many alone lunches because you're able to unwind in "real life", know what I mean? ETA: I didn't word this correctly and I can't put it into words right now.  Alone time is not unhealthy, at all.

[neonpink]

I love going out to lunch by myself. I read my kindle, people watch the street. It's relaxing. I don't think your weird at all.

[sparksfly]

I see nothing wrong with it. I am actually jealous of people who can do that. I only recently sat at a bar by myself for a few drinks. And that took a lot out of me to do that. I have since done it a few other times. BUT only at places where I feel comfortable and know a fair amount of the staff.

[starrieskies]

I may have a little more time sooner than that and I'm kind of looking forward to it. A friend of his came to him with a job opportunity that would take him out of town 4 days a week and home for 3. It would mean more money, and more alone time for me. Of course, I'd have DS full time, but the thought of putting him to bed and being able to completely relax sounds pretty wonderful... Plus the extra money he will be bringing home will loosen things up on our budget a little bit and make it easier for me to secret squirrel away a little bit for myself. I wasn't sure about it at first, but I'm really hoping he takes it.

[starrieskies]

Feb 7, 2013 13:11:15 GMT -5 neonpink said:

I don't think your weird at all.

Oh, I know that I am a little wierd, I just prefer to call myself "quirky".   And I'm really trying to re-embrace my quirks.

[imoan]

I'm an extrovert and I LOOOOVE eating or going to the movies (or a show) by myself.

[margarita]

Not weird at all. If it helps you unwind and unplug for a bit, what's wrong with it?
I actually think it's a great idea, and something I should probably do for myself more often.

[pedanticwench]

I love doing this, but I haven't seen a movie by myself in a long time. Maybe I need to treat myself soon.

This is not weird/strange at all.

[neonpink]

Your post inspired me to take my lunch this way. It was lovely. Tomatoe Bisque and a book. Lovely.

[starrieskies]

I took myself to Olive Garden today. Soup, Salad, Breasticks, and "The Count of Monte Cristo".

[CheshireGrin]

Definitely not weird. I used to do this a lot (especially in college) because I just liked having the time to myself to unwind. I also enjoy going to the movies by myself.

After living by myself for four years, it became less important, since I was on my own more often than not anyway. Now I'm strongly considering reviving the tradition. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be by yourself, and it does not necessarily indicate dissatisfaction with the people you're spending time with (although certainly, sometimes it can). It's just a personality trait.

[partiallysunny]

I don't do it, but I know plenty of people who go to movies and eat out by themselves to relax. Not weird.