Q about TTC sex from someone who's never TTC

[madladybride]

Frankly, it can be. You have to decide when to do it. Also, it gets kind of routine, Where doesn't really matter...

[CloudBee]

We're in our 3rd month of trying, and I will say it's a mix.

Having more sex is exciting, but knowing when I ovulate can make it stressful if I'm not in the mood.

Once we're into it, I personally feel more of a connection, because I'm all "aww, we're trying to make a baby" in the back of my mind. H, I think he loves the increase in amount of sex, but also is getting a little tired towards the end of my fertile window each month.

So - overall, I think it's better.

[Brie]

I would give him a heads up, like, "If I try to jump you in the next week, it's for a reason."

Then, I would when the time was right. Worked out fine for us.

[everam01]

I think it depends on how long you have to TTC. It was fun at first for us but after a while it became sort of routine.

[ohgillian]

Different. Less fun. Quicker. More like a business transaction.

[Deleted]

I feel like it's the same but it really depends on what your sex life is already. I was always the initiator with us so now when I'm in my fertile window I'll just initiate as usual.

The very first month we started H wasn't feeling well and I threw a huge hissy fit about it but luckily it hasn't happened since. He did say some, um, crass things in the begining but that has ended too thank God!

The most awkward time was when I had to hand him his specimen cup on the morning of our IUI. I gave it to him with his phone in case he needed inspiration. He was like WTF.

[lmb5109]

I basically made myself a drink (or 2) or we went out on the nights I knew I wanted to do the deed. I didn't tell DH the weeks I was O'ing so it wouldn't become a chore.

After I was done with my drink or when we got home, I'd asked DH if he wanted to join me in the bedroom, that's all it took.

[kaiene]

DH was totally on board with us having as much sex as necessary for me to get pregnant.

We had sex about 4 times a week before TTC, so there was some increase in frequency.

I would tell him that it was "go time," even though he's only turned me down once.

[jinnifah]

We only tried for 3 cycles so it didn't get the chance for it to get routine. We just enjoyed haveing sex all the time, anytime. The only weird occasion was when we planned for me to wake him up at 2am after I got home from backshift since I was ovulating and we both knew if we missed that day the whole month was shot. He managed to rally, but neither of us were into it - it was awkward, we were both exhausted and were glad when he was done. (and that's the cycle I got pg )

[bunch]

After the first few months, it was very stressful and unsatisfying for me. At the beginning it was amazing.

[partiallysunny]

We had sex more, when ever the mood struck. It never got old for us, but it only took 3 cycles. I could see how it could start to suck.

The sex wasn't any different. Maybe a little more exciting at first.

[chicken]

It becomes a chore after the first few months. I bought lots of lingerie.

We're doing IVF now and sex has just started being fun again.

[whitterbugk]

Our first month TTC we were both sick with colds, but didn't want to waste the window of opportunity. It did suck. Lots of heavy breathing, but not in a sexy way, more of a "Hurry up so I can take some more DayQuil and blow my nose."

[yellowbrkrd]

We've been TTC for 15 cycles and DH knows when I'm ovulating. It hasn't really become like a chore yet. Every once in a while I will think, ugh, I don't really want to have sex today but we usually find ways to keep it fun and exciting.

[Rachael070707]

May 10, 2012 15:30:53 GMT -5 @flamingostalker said:

We TTC for 5 years before I finally got pregnant. It was very routine and chore-like at that point.

This has been us, except we aren't yet pg and there's really no chance of a surprise BFP at this point. Now that I've given up hope of that surprise, we have been enjoying a more spontaneous sex life again and it's been great.

[pugz]

the first time we had TTC sex was THE MOST AWKWARD SEX OF MY LIFE. Way worse than my first time. Or my wedding night, which was the first time with my husband.

it got better after that first time, but it was never really romantic as we were on a schedule and needed to have sex WAY more than we normally did.

[ssmjlm]

I'm charting now but we're TTA until July. We've just been conscious of upping the weekly sex so when it's time it doesn't seem out of the ordinary.

[Deleted]

same for us.

[biogirl21]

I try to be romantic when I start things up, but sometimes it just doesn't work. We're on month 8 and it's starting to be an annoying routine.
I'm not proud of this, but I do throw fits when H turns me down in the FW and tell him that we HAVE too. Yeah, that doesn't usually work

[pierogigirl]

It took us a while both times and I have really screwed up cycles. I never got a + on an OKP the few months we tried them, so we just had sex every other day until I got pg. After a few months of that, sex was not too much fun. We were waiting for the referral to the fertility dr. when I got a BFP with DS2.

[keh2oblue]

I wouldn't tell DH when I was ovulating...it was too much pressure for him. I tried to keep it as normal as possible.

[georgeharrison]

We have been TTC #2 for more than 4 years. I tell my husband when I'm ovulating, but let him make the moves around that time. It can be a lot of pressure on him like pp mentioned.

[Deleted]

It was fun the first couple of months. We're now at a year and a half and it sucks.

[BNL2]

We are 18 months in so it has been a journey. For the first 4-6 months, I initiated it the way I always have, just making sure to have sex on the right days. Then it went downhill for 6 months. Lots of anger, tears, and horrible sex that often ended in us not talking to each other the next day. Sex became really hard for us.

Finally, I went to therapy and now it's better than ever. Therapy has helped me a ton and I'm a better spouse in general. We have a lot more fun in bed. We still have our bad days, but it's no longer tied to sex.

[lolo]

I'm off BC because we'd like to have a kid in the next couple of years, but we aren't wholeheartedly dedicating ourselves to it. So we are having sex as normal but I do notice when I'm ovulating and try to initiate then. This is month 3 with no BC. Month 1, I tried to initiate but DH was sick. Month 2, I was travelling. Month 3, tbc!

[Deleted]

We have been "trying" for 6 months. This past month I started using OPK's. The sex was horrible. DH said it put alot of pressure on him. He said during sex he was trying to figure out how to pay for college for two kids (we have one 3yr old DS). It was not good. We had a couple of good romps during my fertile window this time. I made the mistake of telling him about my positive OPK. If I am not pregnant this cycle, next cycle I will not even mention it to him. Although, it is a elephant in the room and we both want another pregnancy badly. Hmph. I miss not worrying about ovulating. Our sex life up until now had been amazing.

[Deleted]

May 10, 2012 18:46:47 GMT -5 @pnkybrwstr said:

TTC turned me into a crazy person. It also gave DH performance anxiety. Next time I won't be telling him shit.

It is so good to hear this. We are having these issues as well.

[Deleted]

May 10, 2012 15:03:48 GMT -5 @crackhabit said:

What's initiating the sex like?

Is it romantic? You just let things happen naturally or as usual?

Or is it more like, hey, look! We haven't tried to make a baby yet tonight, let's go have sex, K?

I have visions that TTC sex is somehow different than non-TTC sex when it comes to like, deciding when and where to do it.

At first, sex can be exciting and new because you're embarking on this new style - to conceive a child. However after a while it gets frusterating an emotional if you don't get pregnant as soon as you'd like.

At least that's what it was like for DH and I>

[chessie]

Thankfully won't have to deal with this anytime soon..but we have no desire to track cycles, or whatever, if it happens it happens, if not- will go with another route. I am not going to act like a crazy person and make either of us sick. Plus there is not enough hours in a day to even have sex daily.

[justjen]

We got the pregnant the second month of trying, so we didn't have enough time for it to become a chore. I just had one of those little apps that gave us an approximate fertile window based on my period (no temping or anything).

That said, I found it fun. Since we both knew we'd be getting it on in, say, 2 days, it gave us time to think about it and get excited about it