Ugh!

[degal99]

So I had the big RE meeting last week and it turns out I'm not ovulating.  But, that's not the important part right now.  Now, I need to have my hysteroscopy (to "clean the place out" and make the eggs want to stick when the times comes), and because my body went all wonky and decided to start my period 2 weeks earlier than normal, I'm scheduled for surgery on Thursday.  I had just told my boss about needing to take the time off in about 2 weeks, so now I have to go back in this Monday and tell her, oops, sorry I mean I need to take time off on Wednesday, and take all Thursday off this week.

I think that's the worst part about all this.  Taking so much time off work.  And it's only going to be getting worse as I move into meds and shots and possible IUI.  I want to tell my boss what's going on, because I know she'll be sympathetic, but I don't really think it's such a good idea.  But I'm torn about how vague I'm being in regards to all the times I'm taking off.  I can tell she's starting to get a little annoyed.  I offered to get a letter about all the medical procedures, but she said she didn't need/want one.  I just wish this were easier or I knew if I should share more or not.  

[lola]

I don't think you should tell your boss any more right now. The time off sucks, but it's a matter of life, you know? We get sick, we have problems, we have doctor's appointments. (I debated about the use of an ' in "doctor's" but went with it. I hope that wasn't wrong...)

Sorry for all the shit - I know it's tough and time consuming.

[KaraOrNot]

Ugh, sorry. Good luck on your surgery.

I feel you on time off work. I can't believe how many appointments IF results in. I have debated on how much to tell my boss and have decided to keep it vague.

[jewel]

I think we all feel your pain...

Luckily, my job is very flexible and I spend a good amount of time out of the office anyway. I try to schedule as many dr appointments as I can during lunch, or at the beginning or end of the day.

I feel strongly against sharing information with most people, especially at work. I'm fine with allowing my boss to guess what may be going on, but sharing any details is just too much for me. She'll find out once I'm safely out of first tri, just like everyone else.

If you think you'll feel less stressed if your boss knows though, I'd probably tell. I don't think that any extra stress right now is worth it.

Good luck on the hysteroscopy!

[ilovecandy]

When I was working and going through this one or two of my trusted co-workers knew but no one else. My boss had no idea. I think you are better off keeping it vaque and if she asks bring in a doctors note or something.

[degal99]

You all, of course, are right. I know I shouldn't really broadcast this for a variety of different reasons. Thanks for the reassurance.

[berbles]

Your boss can't ask you what the appointments are for, FYI. You don't have to say anything besides, "I have a doctor's appointment." You can be required to bring proof of the appointment(s), but details are 100% yours to share or not.

I've been out of work a total of 15 weeks since August. :-(

[mae141]

My bosses know what's going on. I guess we just have a good relationship and the staff is more like a family. One of my bosses did six IUIs and IVF, so she gets it at least. I could not handle going through this without the support I've gotten from my coworkers.

[degal99]

Feb 11, 2013 19:09:56 GMT -5 mae141 said:

My bosses know what's going on. I guess we just have a good relationship and the staff is more like a family. One of my bosses did six IUIs and IVF, so she gets it at least. I could not handle going through this without the support I've gotten from my coworkers.

I work in a small office with a bunch of women who are all about my mom's age, so they kinda see me as "the kid."  So I know if they knew I'd get a lot of mothering and understanding.  In addition, one coworker mentioned some difficulty conceiving herself, so I know she would understand.  But at the same time, I understand why not telling them is also a good idea.  I've just never been good at "hiding" things.

[degal99]

Feb 11, 2013 18:24:28 GMT -5 berbles said:

Your boss can't ask you what the appointments are for, FYI. You don't have to say anything besides, "I have a doctor's appointment." You can be required to bring proof of the appointment(s), but details are 100% yours to share or not.

I've been out of work a total of 15 weeks since August.

Wow, 15 weeks!

And I know she can't ask what the doctor's appointments are for, and she hasn't come close to asking.  It's just my own personal nagging that's making me question how much I want to share or not.  I shared a little more about the fact that I need surgery (not for what though), and she seemed to handle that better now that I have 3 doctors appointments in the next two weeks.  

At least it's a little better than when I had surgery where I was out for 8 weeks about 6 months into my first real job.  That was a really awkward conversation with my manager then!

[berbles]

Yeah, 15 weeks. 2 surgeries and a round of meds that made me sick and stressed. I have been pretty candid with my boss though.

But I have a coworker who was being super bitchy to me because she didn't realize what was going on. I know it was none of her damn business and I didn't have to tell her anything, but once I explained what was going on she was MUCH nicer to me.